Probably because you're not baiting the hook properly.

Perhaps. Tho idk what else to do.

because fishing is a waiting game. a fish can bite, or not. its not a promise they do, its a chance but when ever a good fish does bite, boy will it change up the game.

Extremely long waiting game. I know I need to "get out there more" but I have no idea what that even entails, people say that like I'm magically supposed to know what it means. Go to a hookup bar (heck no)? Leer at people in Walmart? Creep around a mall? I have no clue! I need connections but I don't have any...

i think the problem is if youre really looking for it. i cant give an advice and be like "just dont look for it" because i think (at least) if youre looking for something like, well, "that", it mostly ends up in a bad way. i mean its hard to explain i guess but maybe if you look somewhere where YOU know you might have something in common with people like games or furries or iduno, you should start there? im srsly not good in social advices tbh ^^;;;

How do you meet people in social situations when you aren't a social person? That's the problem.

I'm guessing you're about as close to thirty as I am to seventy. I would guess that's working on your mind.

Yeah it's a massive problem. Like what do I even do at this point!?! I'm so lost in life.

And yeah I'm barking on 30 in a couple weeks, the first digit of my age flipping from a 2 to a 3 is REALLY weighing on me alot.

Yeah, that's closer than me; I'm a little more than a year from that next odometer click. I wouldn't suggest what I did; I met a girl who was literally half my age but I was 56 at the time. Now she's pushing 41.

I'm not sure where you go from here. I met prior girlfriends at school or work (some places I worked security at had 50% female guard forces -- even 40 years ago). When I transitioned to Programmer/Systems Analyst I met other IT workers and dated several women from work. There aren't too many female Automotive Technicians (yeah, I've met a few; don't walk, run away). The exceptions were my previous GF, who is a nurse at a local hospital (we did meet at a company function) and the woman I mentioned above, whom I met in the company cafeteria. She worked in another building a block away but knew where to find a good lunch.

Yeah females in the automotive repair world are virtually non-existent, only place they might show up is behind a Service Advisor desk but the ones that land there are old enough to be my mom. Ive seen maybe 2 females be involved directly in the repair/oil change end of things and yeah RUN they're an undesirable type. So idk what to do. I work myself to the bone, have no energy when i get off and therefore lack any social life along with my antisocial behaviors.

That is nice advice for a lot of people to try.

If only.

Because it requires patience... lots and lots of patience.

Over 29 years of patience at the very least it seems...

I see.

I've pretty much made peace with being single, even when I was a kid.

I feel the same, but it doesn't get to me all that much since I know I am largely to blame. I don't go out and meet people (I don't really know how to do that) and I am uncomfortable being outside and around people I don't know. I don't really know how to interact with people and nobody seems to want to be spoken with.

It's a little surreal being on a train platform or on a train and it's largely silent except for the trains themselves and the whirr of the air-conditioning. Nobody talks to each other unless they already know each other.

I don't really talk to people online either. Not on social media or discord, so I can't really blame anyone else.

Yeah that first paragraph is literally me too. I know I'm largely to blame for many of the same reasons plus a serious deficit of self confidence.

Know it doesn't help much but I wish you well for the future dude, hope things start looking up sooner rather than later.

Maybe once I change how I act. I did a lot of thinking last night while tossing and turning unable to sleep.

I'm a fellow foreveralone here too, though I'm a woman. Never had a partner. I'm also asexual which no doubt helps lmao.

But about the best advice I can give is just... don't worry too much about finding someone? Become okay with being alone and work on yourself/your own happiness and peace. I hear it's easier to get someone when you're more 'put together' yourself. Desperation is a hell of a turn off and all.

After spending a mostly sleepless night tossing and turning a lot of things crossed my mind. Like wondering how stuff like this made me look, wondering how i project myself anymore, how I feel like I've obsessed myself with my singleness in recent years. The way I've gotten I probably wouldn't want to date me neither after looking back at what I've become over the last couple years. I just need to try and push those thoughts out of my head because they're just clouding everything up, making me unproductive and no doubt unapproachable.

When I feel frustrated about my non-existent love life, I focus on something else to do with my life.

That's what im going to try to do, I really need to focus on my comics and art. The frustration has really clouded my mind in the last couple years.

Being alone on Valentine's Day probably doesn't help matters.

That's been every Valentines for my entire life, kinda getting used to it at this point

I am sorry you are going through this. I know being alone sucks at times. I hope it gets better for you.

If it makes you feel better, sometimes its better to be alone than to be someone who is toxic. There is a lot of fish in the sea, but not all fish are tasty. Some are absolutely nasty.

Eh, we've basically rigged dating and people-meeting to such a degree that we've gotten the worst of all the possible worlds (dating apps, stranger-danger, work-life balance that is skewed towards work, elimination of third places etc.).

From what i know of my fellows who have a girlie - it's all random, one met his in a bar, another two via their friends, another on a mountain hike, another via wow.

What i can deduce is that one needs to go out, not to bars or public spaces but out on hobbies and club activities (basically the third places we lost). Dating apps are a mixed bag but if you put out exactly what you want, take semi-competent pics of yourself and lower your standards a bit i hear that you can get some hits every now and then. Or just swallow your pride and go to a psych that focuses on relationship issues, though that may cost you a bit.

Part of the success of finding love from a partner is finding love from yourself in your singleness, if you can't make yourself happy single then even if you find a partner its likely not to last as a partner cannot be the provider of all of the happiness in your life. Its really unfair to yourself to tie your happiness to something that's ultimately out of your control, I know its easier said than done but freeing yourself from feeling like you need a relationship I think will take a huge weight off your shoulders. You can find so much fulfilment in your life from being single cuz being single isn't inherently a bad thing, grow connections from people within your community, friends, family, found family, those relationships can be just as, if not more important than romantic ones. I hate that people only see Valentines day as a day for couples, its not, its a day for celebrating all sorts of love, be it love for others or yourself! And I think once you start showing yourself the love you deserve on your own, you might find the fishes start biting a little more often ;3c

Can I tell you a story about myself for a minute?
Im 29 and I often feel lonely too. Its not that I've got nobody to talk to. It's more like I don't feel comfortable enough with anyone to let myself be totally open, so I just shut myself up and keep to myself. I deeply desire to let myself be intimate and vulnerable with someone and until I learn to get over myself I'm always going to be alone.
Asperger's makes it hard to approach anyone, and even harder to read non verbal cues, but I still try sometimes. Any time I try to strike up a conversation with a woman it's extremely awkward and I literally don't know what to talk about on account of the fact that I really don't have a life outside of going to work and sleeping whenever I'm not at work, and I just shut down.
I've never been a player. Ive never been interested in casual dating or hookups. What I really desire is true human intimacy. But how can I ever experience that kind of love if Im not even competent at small talk, let alone maintaining a real relationship? So I've come to accept my loneliness as it currently is. I'm just gonna focus that energy on doing whatever makes me happy and if Im lucky to meet a partner while doing so then that would be nice, but if not then I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles and I have no choice but to accept reality as it is.
I don't believe in soulmates. Relationships aren't like romcoms. They're messy and complicated. You're literally talking about being with another human being who has thoughts and emotions and desires completely independent of your own and which can at times conflict with your own, yet somehow the two stay together in spite of their differences.
What you're feeling is completely normal and valid. Don't ever be ashamed of that. It's okay to feel lonely. It's okay to feel hurt. Loneliness is a normal human feeling that's meant to encourage us to go outside of ourselves and be with others. But it's also very hard on a person, I understand. And I can tell it's been very hard on you for a very long while.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't get too wrapped up in trying to achieve an ideal relationship and instead just focus on what you enjoy doing already. Find something you are passionate about, and go after it.
You don't catch fish by chasing them, you catch them by being still.