Don't spend your formative years picking up social norms and learning how to mask from niche internet microcelebrities whose entire internet presence is based off of making fun of mostly autistic people that behave similarly to how you do, causing you to hide parts of your personality that you observe others find worthy of ridicule till you're a shell of your former self whose only form of communication with other people is through complaining and the ridiculing of abnormality and nonconformity.