Quicksilver.

It's something I'd use to describe something I've seen as a positive aspect of myself for a long while. I am malleable. Adaptable. And I look to be that way for others. I aim to please - because I care, and want to do what's best for the situation.

Except, it muddles the mixture.

I've gone from someone who lurked and hid, and never put their emotions out there to others, especially of the variety I show on here - to someone who does it very frequently. I wear my heart on my sleeve - but there's always that fear that, in my expression, I'll cross a boundary. Rupture.

I could say it's part of how I'm a guy. And I grew up in a household that absolutely emotionally repressed me because men don't cry and whatnot. But that feels like putting the blame on something, rather than owning up to the fact I need to and want to learn how to navigate my own emotions.

I value the friendships I've made through the internet, because of the people on the other side and what they've done. Maybe I fear too much that being myself isn't enough to foster the connections and friendships I value so highly with other artists and folks I care about. Meat with anxiety.

My worst fear with my friends I think is to lose them. Going from ES to MS to HS to College, none of the friends I ever got stuck around, or were interested in me beyond the fact I was there. And once those ended, I only managed to hold on to one of those friends. I'm thankful for him.

Tldr; this rabbit worries too much. And he tries to hard to make people happy, when he should just be himself and give all the love he has to give rather than worry about the specifics. Thank you all. 🐰💙