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albino-kitsune did this for me ages ago. Some of you may remember it. Dedicated to those rare moments when you are alone and locked in thoughts of a better time, or of a grimmer future.
Category All / All
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Size 1100 x 845px
File Size 178.3 kB
these moments, i find, are becoming quite common for me
im forever grateful for the cards life has, at least for the moment, given me. but i wonder, to what great affect? to what purpose? and if i walk five blocks in either direction from where i live, i find that i feel no different than i had when i was homeless. tired, needing one more cigarette, and as unsure about tomorrow as i did yesterday.
maybe homeless isn't a physical state, but rather, a mental one...
this is just SOME of the shit i think up while in one of those moods.
im forever grateful for the cards life has, at least for the moment, given me. but i wonder, to what great affect? to what purpose? and if i walk five blocks in either direction from where i live, i find that i feel no different than i had when i was homeless. tired, needing one more cigarette, and as unsure about tomorrow as i did yesterday.
maybe homeless isn't a physical state, but rather, a mental one...
this is just SOME of the shit i think up while in one of those moods.
I find myself in those moments as well, as I am currently homeless as well. Being tired I suppose lends itself to these kinds of thoughts. Low on money, energy, willpower, just about everything. Retreating within ones self for reflection becomes necessary when one has nothing else. I've a few aces up my sleeve yet, but it's a desperate act to go to the wild cards when the chips are down in more than just a metaphorical sense, ya know? Home is where the heart is, and I've carried mine with me for these past 3 years. I must be careful to not drop it, it can't bear much more of this business.
I will never quit smoking, it brings depth to my bitterness, and allows me to transcend my fear of mortality by constantly reminding me of the ever ticking clock. And I am alone, except for a scant few people who've obligations to me, but only because I reminded them of it. The internet is not people, no matter how much they care.
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