It was dark, which meant cover; but Blacktooth knew it wouldn’t last long. Working quickly, he threw open the back door of a security van and was met by a muffled yell. Inside, a young vixen with her arms, legs, and mouth tied pleaded with muffled words. Blacktooth knew if he spoke, he’d give away his location. Ignoring the woman for the time being, he pulled out a knife. The woman screamed and started crying, but settled when she saw Blacktooth was cutting her bonds to her feet. Then he pulled the woman out of the van and held her arm, running with her down the street.
At this point, the woman was conscientious enough to note neither her hands nor mouth was undone, and sounded annoyed as they rounded a corner. Blacktooth stopped her, stared her right in the eye and said “Hey, lady, you’re not safe here. I can’t have you talking while we’re running, ok?” The vixen nodded rapidly, understanding.
Pft! Blacktooth dropped. The woman screamed, then started crying before she ran down the street frantically. Blacktooth had been shot in the temple, but the bullet squeezed its way out backwards out of his head and dropped to the ground. Blacktooth stumbled to his feet, hurling himself into a nearby alley. The sniper had seen them. He needed to take out the sniper.
Just as he expected, another van swerved up to the vixen and a few few men rushed to subdue the vixen. One slammed a syringe into her neck and she went down like a rock. Picking her up quickly, they drove off. Muz was already in the fire escape under the sniper. He didn’t see any pistols on the human’s person, so he used that to his advantage. Climbing the guard rails like a ladder instead of the stairs, Blacktooth was quickly behind the human sniper. The man turned, and yelled. Then dropped, his head falling off his body to the ground. Blacktooth’s tail, which was skeletal now due to his absurd transformation, recoiled like a whip.
Blacktooth clambered over the side rail and picked up the sniper. One shot, and the van stopped in its tracks, driver-less. Leaping off the balcony, Blacktooth got ready for the passenger to quickly take charge to drive, then, standing with his knee bent a little, shot him down too. Then it got sticky. Everyone got out of the van, armed and ready. One of the men was even so thorough as to take the vixen out, given immediately poised at her head.
Blacktooth immediately knelt down and took a shot at the man poising the gun at the vixen. He went down before anyone knew what happened. The other two men turned and ran to their fallen comrade. Bad choice. With a single placed shot, the bullet went through both of them, since they were lined up in Blacktooth’s sights. The vixen dropped to the ground, which Blacktooth liked. He’d be the only one in charge of running then.
The vixen awoke, looking around her. Her arms and mouth were still bound. She lay on a cot, of which she promptly got up from. Then she saw Blacktooth, yelled, and sat back down. Blacktooth pulled out a knife. “You I’ll cut you lose as soon as you stop yelling.” The woman calmed down quickly.
Blacktooth cut her arms lose, with the woman closely eying his hands. Once he took the gag off, he bowed his head. “I’m sorry, I just have really sensitive hearing.” The woman paused, not sure how to take all that was spoken. She certainly wasn’t expecting kindness, if anything.
“I only plan on staying here for a few more minutes, then I’ll take you to the safe house. It’s about half an hour outside of town, if we walk quickly.” Blacktooth pulled out a syringe. “If you not sure you can jog it, I can help you. It’d be easier for me to carry you than try to pull you along. Not trying to be disrespectful, of course.”
The woman eyed everything over. The first thing she noticed was her hero’s head wasn’t bleeding. The man wore jeans, sneakers, a sleeveless undershirt, and had a leather vest hanging up on a chair nearby. He was also quite muscular, but she also noticed that his eyes were pupil less. He was blind. Her thoughts seemed to focus on the head, though. “You’re not bleeding. A-and your blind!”
Blacktooth was a patient cat. He’d learned patience since his escape from the same laboratory they intended on taking the woman. If the woman wanted to chat for a bit, he’d give her five minutes easily. Blacktooth nodded. “Yes, I’m not bleeding, and I am blind. I was raised in the same laboratory those humans planned on taking you. I was accidentally exposed to radiation and that’s why I’m like this.”
The woman seemed to relax a little. “Why do these humans want us?” The woman asked. Blacktooth took a deep breath than spoke.
“Furries are rare. Evolution hasn’t progressed far enough for furries to become more populating, and the human government is intent on studying us like the animals they came from, like we’re stupid and juvenile.”
The woman nodded. Now she’d finally accepted everything. Then her cheeks turned red. Blacktooth cocked his head to the side, inquisitive. “You…” the woman started to say, “you rescued me.”
Blacktooth’s face grew dark. “Yes, how about that?” he said gruffly, then rose, placing the syringe back into a case and closing it, locking the sides.
He turned back to the woman. “Come, we have to go.” The woman looked down and noticed Blacktooth’s shoes.
“What are those?” She asked.
“Shoes. Modified them from a human’s footwear. We so easily get burrs and stuff stuck in our paw pads, that it leads to infection. This alleviates the issue. Now, come on.” Blacktooth said, verifying the priority yet again.
There was a banging on the door to the small room. “Blacktooth!” Said a commanding voice. “We know you’re in there! Come out with your hands up and no one has to get hurt.”
Blacktooth turned to the woman, who looked afraid now. “Stay there.” Blacktooth said in a whisper. The woman nodded.
With a little more banging, the door broke far enough so the human agents outside could get in. Blacktooth listened carefully, then kicked the door back to its original position. “Get down!” He said forcefully to the vixen, who fell onto her stomach as quickly as she could.
Pistol bullets tried to tear through the door. The human noted the failure on that and kicked the door open, but his hands were cut off before he knew what to fire at. Then he was silenced with a pointed tail through the throat.
Blacktooth whipped his tail to the back of the room and picked the vixen up. “Come on.” Blacktooth said again, grabbing the vixen by the arm and pulling her towards the garage. Opening the door quickly, Blacktooth got on his motorcycle. “There too close, we won’t be able to outrun them. Get on.” Blacktooth gritted his teeth as the vixen got on, taking a little too much time to rap her arms around him as Blacktooth would have liked (which was none).
Pulling out of town as quickly as he could was a synch, then came the tough part of staying safe. He’d found the safe house, which was actually in the next county, out in the country. Blacktooth pulled up to the rundown country building (what used to be an old out-of-town hotel and resort that’d easily hold three thousand people), and let the vixen off. “Get inside. There are people in there who’ll help you. All furries.”
Blacktooth turned to go, but the vixen grabbed his arm. Blacktooth turned. “Thank you.” She said, then pulled him in. Blacktooth stopped her.
“Please, ma’am, you need to get inside.” The vixen looked a little disappointed, but Muz put his gloves back on and revved the motorcycle. “Give my best to everyone.” With that, Blacktooth revved full throttle and rocketed off.
Barbra Piper sat at her desk mulling. Ten agents shot, all within the last twenty four hours. It was unacceptable. Her phone rung, jarring her from her pouting. She picked up the phone. “Yeah?” she said, disregarding all politeness.
“I’d suggest you start considering the lives of your men more often when you try and find me.”
Barbra sat up immediately. “Blacktooth? Blacktooth is that you?”
“Who else?” Came the voice on the line.
“Blacktooth, where are you? We need to talk.”
“No,” came the reply, “I think we’ve talked long enough. You’ve stolen things from me. Under your own jurisdiction, I should get them back. Oh, wait, I’m not like you, am I? Well then, in that case, I’ll just have to come over there and steal it.”
The phone was silent for a moment. Then Barbra spoke. “What do you want?”
“My life, my freedom, and the freedom of other furries. You can’t keep taking it, Barbra. I know your position in all this mess. You can change it. I’ll count on it, or else, you’ll have no one else to do the searching but you.” [/color]
Click.
At this point, the woman was conscientious enough to note neither her hands nor mouth was undone, and sounded annoyed as they rounded a corner. Blacktooth stopped her, stared her right in the eye and said “Hey, lady, you’re not safe here. I can’t have you talking while we’re running, ok?” The vixen nodded rapidly, understanding.
Pft! Blacktooth dropped. The woman screamed, then started crying before she ran down the street frantically. Blacktooth had been shot in the temple, but the bullet squeezed its way out backwards out of his head and dropped to the ground. Blacktooth stumbled to his feet, hurling himself into a nearby alley. The sniper had seen them. He needed to take out the sniper.
Just as he expected, another van swerved up to the vixen and a few few men rushed to subdue the vixen. One slammed a syringe into her neck and she went down like a rock. Picking her up quickly, they drove off. Muz was already in the fire escape under the sniper. He didn’t see any pistols on the human’s person, so he used that to his advantage. Climbing the guard rails like a ladder instead of the stairs, Blacktooth was quickly behind the human sniper. The man turned, and yelled. Then dropped, his head falling off his body to the ground. Blacktooth’s tail, which was skeletal now due to his absurd transformation, recoiled like a whip.
Blacktooth clambered over the side rail and picked up the sniper. One shot, and the van stopped in its tracks, driver-less. Leaping off the balcony, Blacktooth got ready for the passenger to quickly take charge to drive, then, standing with his knee bent a little, shot him down too. Then it got sticky. Everyone got out of the van, armed and ready. One of the men was even so thorough as to take the vixen out, given immediately poised at her head.
Blacktooth immediately knelt down and took a shot at the man poising the gun at the vixen. He went down before anyone knew what happened. The other two men turned and ran to their fallen comrade. Bad choice. With a single placed shot, the bullet went through both of them, since they were lined up in Blacktooth’s sights. The vixen dropped to the ground, which Blacktooth liked. He’d be the only one in charge of running then.
The vixen awoke, looking around her. Her arms and mouth were still bound. She lay on a cot, of which she promptly got up from. Then she saw Blacktooth, yelled, and sat back down. Blacktooth pulled out a knife. “You I’ll cut you lose as soon as you stop yelling.” The woman calmed down quickly.
Blacktooth cut her arms lose, with the woman closely eying his hands. Once he took the gag off, he bowed his head. “I’m sorry, I just have really sensitive hearing.” The woman paused, not sure how to take all that was spoken. She certainly wasn’t expecting kindness, if anything.
“I only plan on staying here for a few more minutes, then I’ll take you to the safe house. It’s about half an hour outside of town, if we walk quickly.” Blacktooth pulled out a syringe. “If you not sure you can jog it, I can help you. It’d be easier for me to carry you than try to pull you along. Not trying to be disrespectful, of course.”
The woman eyed everything over. The first thing she noticed was her hero’s head wasn’t bleeding. The man wore jeans, sneakers, a sleeveless undershirt, and had a leather vest hanging up on a chair nearby. He was also quite muscular, but she also noticed that his eyes were pupil less. He was blind. Her thoughts seemed to focus on the head, though. “You’re not bleeding. A-and your blind!”
Blacktooth was a patient cat. He’d learned patience since his escape from the same laboratory they intended on taking the woman. If the woman wanted to chat for a bit, he’d give her five minutes easily. Blacktooth nodded. “Yes, I’m not bleeding, and I am blind. I was raised in the same laboratory those humans planned on taking you. I was accidentally exposed to radiation and that’s why I’m like this.”
The woman seemed to relax a little. “Why do these humans want us?” The woman asked. Blacktooth took a deep breath than spoke.
“Furries are rare. Evolution hasn’t progressed far enough for furries to become more populating, and the human government is intent on studying us like the animals they came from, like we’re stupid and juvenile.”
The woman nodded. Now she’d finally accepted everything. Then her cheeks turned red. Blacktooth cocked his head to the side, inquisitive. “You…” the woman started to say, “you rescued me.”
Blacktooth’s face grew dark. “Yes, how about that?” he said gruffly, then rose, placing the syringe back into a case and closing it, locking the sides.
He turned back to the woman. “Come, we have to go.” The woman looked down and noticed Blacktooth’s shoes.
“What are those?” She asked.
“Shoes. Modified them from a human’s footwear. We so easily get burrs and stuff stuck in our paw pads, that it leads to infection. This alleviates the issue. Now, come on.” Blacktooth said, verifying the priority yet again.
There was a banging on the door to the small room. “Blacktooth!” Said a commanding voice. “We know you’re in there! Come out with your hands up and no one has to get hurt.”
Blacktooth turned to the woman, who looked afraid now. “Stay there.” Blacktooth said in a whisper. The woman nodded.
With a little more banging, the door broke far enough so the human agents outside could get in. Blacktooth listened carefully, then kicked the door back to its original position. “Get down!” He said forcefully to the vixen, who fell onto her stomach as quickly as she could.
Pistol bullets tried to tear through the door. The human noted the failure on that and kicked the door open, but his hands were cut off before he knew what to fire at. Then he was silenced with a pointed tail through the throat.
Blacktooth whipped his tail to the back of the room and picked the vixen up. “Come on.” Blacktooth said again, grabbing the vixen by the arm and pulling her towards the garage. Opening the door quickly, Blacktooth got on his motorcycle. “There too close, we won’t be able to outrun them. Get on.” Blacktooth gritted his teeth as the vixen got on, taking a little too much time to rap her arms around him as Blacktooth would have liked (which was none).
Pulling out of town as quickly as he could was a synch, then came the tough part of staying safe. He’d found the safe house, which was actually in the next county, out in the country. Blacktooth pulled up to the rundown country building (what used to be an old out-of-town hotel and resort that’d easily hold three thousand people), and let the vixen off. “Get inside. There are people in there who’ll help you. All furries.”
Blacktooth turned to go, but the vixen grabbed his arm. Blacktooth turned. “Thank you.” She said, then pulled him in. Blacktooth stopped her.
“Please, ma’am, you need to get inside.” The vixen looked a little disappointed, but Muz put his gloves back on and revved the motorcycle. “Give my best to everyone.” With that, Blacktooth revved full throttle and rocketed off.
Barbra Piper sat at her desk mulling. Ten agents shot, all within the last twenty four hours. It was unacceptable. Her phone rung, jarring her from her pouting. She picked up the phone. “Yeah?” she said, disregarding all politeness.
“I’d suggest you start considering the lives of your men more often when you try and find me.”
Barbra sat up immediately. “Blacktooth? Blacktooth is that you?”
“Who else?” Came the voice on the line.
“Blacktooth, where are you? We need to talk.”
“No,” came the reply, “I think we’ve talked long enough. You’ve stolen things from me. Under your own jurisdiction, I should get them back. Oh, wait, I’m not like you, am I? Well then, in that case, I’ll just have to come over there and steal it.”
The phone was silent for a moment. Then Barbra spoke. “What do you want?”
“My life, my freedom, and the freedom of other furries. You can’t keep taking it, Barbra. I know your position in all this mess. You can change it. I’ll count on it, or else, you’ll have no one else to do the searching but you.” [/color]
Click.
Category Story / All
Species Panther
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 9.6 kB
...now this does need quite a bit of cleanup.
You have a perspective change during the sniper scene. First person, where the entire thing is third person otherwise.
Punctuation. Needs more of it.
The first episode feels rushed, like it came out in a big fat ball of idea. Read through it and add punctuation. Then read through again and add details, or change the wording to make more sense.
Otherwise, this is an interesting Bourne Ultimatum sort of start here.
You have a perspective change during the sniper scene. First person, where the entire thing is third person otherwise.
Punctuation. Needs more of it.
The first episode feels rushed, like it came out in a big fat ball of idea. Read through it and add punctuation. Then read through again and add details, or change the wording to make more sense.
Otherwise, this is an interesting Bourne Ultimatum sort of start here.
FA+

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