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Not much a vent art tbh but to rethink what i got back in 2024, the thing that left me a scar on my mental health, man...its shit.
Just want to speak about this out, not much bringing anything from my past nor i wanna cause any dramas but just want to talk about this scar that is slowly healing through time and how i got it.
I Just started that year of 2024 with the intention of having a good time, to have peace and have fun, i was already coming from a hard situation that hurt my mental health, and i was expecting peace and good after the storm, my mental health was fragile that time, i was mentally and emotionally weak in that period.
True, its been my fault to have trust the wrong person easily but things wasn't like that at the start of september of 2023.
Don't get me wrong, i don't hate being in a trio, but tbh, i just like it, before i used to love it but now i just still like it, lets say im neutral now, its nothing negative, just positive tbh.
Me and my best friend have now a better person next to us, but the scar is still here and sometimes it bleeds a little, even when innocent things that wasn't made out of purpose or out of malice happened, it made me some kind of.. really mad, because back in 2024 i got treated so badly, so less and had to watch how my other friend was getting treated so good, though this isn't his fault but the fault goes to that person who was a favoritist and wasn't honest with us and prob mine too for havent walked away at may 2024, but came back to them just to hear they wanted my friend back and made me felt like i meant nothing and all my efforts was nothing and my friend was everything above me.
I Don't do it for malicious intentions, more because im a bit still hurt, and that shit hit me because i used to love that person in the same way i love my best friends.
And i'm still healing from it.
It hurt very much when after they left, i found out with my bro that i was victim of favoritism for the whole year of 2024, and this was also what feed my paranoia and made it stronger along with my rage, and sometimes it still hurts but a bit even if im with better people (my best friends) that treats me good, as it like... an automatic thing? or like a weird mechanism, hope you get what im trying to say here, but it isn't costantly, it isn't permanent, its like its just going to pass though.
The wrost part was also when they used to lie and ignore to me and my bro, maybe mostly to my bro, they also used to be costantly paranoid and negative all the time and speak so much bad about my bro to me, i never mind to help someone to feel better, i always was up to comfort and help anyone but this was just pretty much repetitive, mostly about my bro, i mean, our conversation sometimes was like this:
They: He's ignoring me again.
Me: no, he isn't ignoring you, he's just busy with stuff.
They: He's not responding, So he is ignoring.
They was fucking stubborn all the time and never ever cared to listen or stuff and stressed both of me and my bro and also hurted my mental health too but bad trying to help them and convice them that what they was thinking was wrong, it was just they paranoia and all but nope.
They also used to act different clearly infront of my eyes before of getting worse.
Like i went to play with them on tower heroes one time and it normally was my first times, all i fucking needed was simply someone who to teach me things about that game but instead they decided of just straight treat me like shit, as if i was "consuming their patience", when my bro joined, they became all "UwU" and nice and started to treat him good while minutes ago they treated me like garbage.
And one time almost to get my bro against me one time but it turned out to be a misunderstood and they both apologized (this before they was going to get worse).
At May 2024, i was having the wrost day and they decided to just make it worse but accusing me of leaving my friend (that got scammed that time) in the darkness, that i just take fast decisions, like dude, i was fucking having a panic attack and this is how you react? fuck you.
And the messages on Instagram got me angry then at that point, more when they said that if i didn't wanted their help they would have stop doing it if it that was what i actually wanted, decided of answer them that if their help had to hurt me then i didn't needed it at all.
And the wrost part in all of this was that my bro didn't knew at all of what was going on between me and this person, all because i decided to remain silent and to protect my bro and this person friendship at all costs but not realizing that-
The more i was trying to protect the friendship between my bro and this person, the more i was damaging myself and my mental health with them and their bullshit with remaining in silence and suffering.
But the last straw came when we went both of three playing Doors with the admin panel (Actually, that was suppose to be only me and my bro but they joined us)
things was okay at the start but then the favoritism hit by teleporting my bro in the other room (there was a closed gate) and not me with the excuse of "oh but it isn't functioning anymore" or at least i wish they could have said that.
Then this is when all this paranoia of mine started to raise more along with rage and when my scar opened more and bleed even more.
Decided to left and lying to his face that my wifi got me disconnected, but it was me to leave.
At January of 2025, They decided of not answering us and because of this me and my bro got sick of their behavior and decided of being more with the others, i also decided of start to lay my trust on my bro since i know him longer than that person and my bro is a very comfortive and supportive and amazing best friend and brother to me, and never he ever hurted me very bad when i was in the wrost moment of my life.
Then one day they decide of not answering both me and my bro again but this time completely and they remove us both from their roblox friendlist, i didn't much gaved a fuck anymore, nor i gaved a fuck to contact them again, not even sending a message, since while my bro was texting them they wasn't answering him at all.
So we took the best decision of cut ties with them.
And Never Ever Again.
Im not sad, nor angry anymore, but... just normal tbh, also because i just also want to let ya'll know this was pure shit and talk mostly about my mental health and feelings.
Im glad that this is in the past and it will NEVER happen ever again.
But i also wanna say that im so happy and glad to have better friends next to me, they're really better people and i feel blessed of having them in my life.
I Love you guys and i love you bro and sis, thankyou for make my life better and for bring light in my dark days, i never say this all the time but its just the truth.
Just want to speak about this out, not much bringing anything from my past nor i wanna cause any dramas but just want to talk about this scar that is slowly healing through time and how i got it.
I Just started that year of 2024 with the intention of having a good time, to have peace and have fun, i was already coming from a hard situation that hurt my mental health, and i was expecting peace and good after the storm, my mental health was fragile that time, i was mentally and emotionally weak in that period.
True, its been my fault to have trust the wrong person easily but things wasn't like that at the start of september of 2023.
Don't get me wrong, i don't hate being in a trio, but tbh, i just like it, before i used to love it but now i just still like it, lets say im neutral now, its nothing negative, just positive tbh.
Me and my best friend have now a better person next to us, but the scar is still here and sometimes it bleeds a little, even when innocent things that wasn't made out of purpose or out of malice happened, it made me some kind of.. really mad, because back in 2024 i got treated so badly, so less and had to watch how my other friend was getting treated so good, though this isn't his fault but the fault goes to that person who was a favoritist and wasn't honest with us and prob mine too for havent walked away at may 2024, but came back to them just to hear they wanted my friend back and made me felt like i meant nothing and all my efforts was nothing and my friend was everything above me.
I Don't do it for malicious intentions, more because im a bit still hurt, and that shit hit me because i used to love that person in the same way i love my best friends.
And i'm still healing from it.
It hurt very much when after they left, i found out with my bro that i was victim of favoritism for the whole year of 2024, and this was also what feed my paranoia and made it stronger along with my rage, and sometimes it still hurts but a bit even if im with better people (my best friends) that treats me good, as it like... an automatic thing? or like a weird mechanism, hope you get what im trying to say here, but it isn't costantly, it isn't permanent, its like its just going to pass though.
The wrost part was also when they used to lie and ignore to me and my bro, maybe mostly to my bro, they also used to be costantly paranoid and negative all the time and speak so much bad about my bro to me, i never mind to help someone to feel better, i always was up to comfort and help anyone but this was just pretty much repetitive, mostly about my bro, i mean, our conversation sometimes was like this:
They: He's ignoring me again.
Me: no, he isn't ignoring you, he's just busy with stuff.
They: He's not responding, So he is ignoring.
They was fucking stubborn all the time and never ever cared to listen or stuff and stressed both of me and my bro and also hurted my mental health too but bad trying to help them and convice them that what they was thinking was wrong, it was just they paranoia and all but nope.
They also used to act different clearly infront of my eyes before of getting worse.
Like i went to play with them on tower heroes one time and it normally was my first times, all i fucking needed was simply someone who to teach me things about that game but instead they decided of just straight treat me like shit, as if i was "consuming their patience", when my bro joined, they became all "UwU" and nice and started to treat him good while minutes ago they treated me like garbage.
And one time almost to get my bro against me one time but it turned out to be a misunderstood and they both apologized (this before they was going to get worse).
At May 2024, i was having the wrost day and they decided to just make it worse but accusing me of leaving my friend (that got scammed that time) in the darkness, that i just take fast decisions, like dude, i was fucking having a panic attack and this is how you react? fuck you.
And the messages on Instagram got me angry then at that point, more when they said that if i didn't wanted their help they would have stop doing it if it that was what i actually wanted, decided of answer them that if their help had to hurt me then i didn't needed it at all.
And the wrost part in all of this was that my bro didn't knew at all of what was going on between me and this person, all because i decided to remain silent and to protect my bro and this person friendship at all costs but not realizing that-
The more i was trying to protect the friendship between my bro and this person, the more i was damaging myself and my mental health with them and their bullshit with remaining in silence and suffering.
But the last straw came when we went both of three playing Doors with the admin panel (Actually, that was suppose to be only me and my bro but they joined us)
things was okay at the start but then the favoritism hit by teleporting my bro in the other room (there was a closed gate) and not me with the excuse of "oh but it isn't functioning anymore" or at least i wish they could have said that.
Then this is when all this paranoia of mine started to raise more along with rage and when my scar opened more and bleed even more.
Decided to left and lying to his face that my wifi got me disconnected, but it was me to leave.
At January of 2025, They decided of not answering us and because of this me and my bro got sick of their behavior and decided of being more with the others, i also decided of start to lay my trust on my bro since i know him longer than that person and my bro is a very comfortive and supportive and amazing best friend and brother to me, and never he ever hurted me very bad when i was in the wrost moment of my life.
Then one day they decide of not answering both me and my bro again but this time completely and they remove us both from their roblox friendlist, i didn't much gaved a fuck anymore, nor i gaved a fuck to contact them again, not even sending a message, since while my bro was texting them they wasn't answering him at all.
So we took the best decision of cut ties with them.
And Never Ever Again.
Im not sad, nor angry anymore, but... just normal tbh, also because i just also want to let ya'll know this was pure shit and talk mostly about my mental health and feelings.
Im glad that this is in the past and it will NEVER happen ever again.
But i also wanna say that im so happy and glad to have better friends next to me, they're really better people and i feel blessed of having them in my life.
I Love you guys and i love you bro and sis, thankyou for make my life better and for bring light in my dark days, i never say this all the time but its just the truth.
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 2941 x 1253px
File Size 1.18 MB
Listed in Folders
And one thing i want to add, The real reason why that person deleted us is because of my content, like, dude, what part of ''ignore'' did you not understand? i didn't even involve them on my adult content art. and big talk when they used to draw other fetishes and yet he decided to move on because it's too obscene.
We could had talked about this from the beginning, but no, he always steps back and never says a word, everytime he goes through something bad and we want to help him, he pushes us away.
At least be grateful that we've been trying to help you in your worst times, but you repay us with scratches.
That person called us pretenders, when they started attacking when we never did anything bad to them.
We could had talked about this from the beginning, but no, he always steps back and never says a word, everytime he goes through something bad and we want to help him, he pushes us away.
At least be grateful that we've been trying to help you in your worst times, but you repay us with scratches.
That person called us pretenders, when they started attacking when we never did anything bad to them.
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