New Year's picture
by ttt3mr
2 days ago
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I want to share with you how I feel...
Sometimes I get overwhelmed by a huge feeling of sadness..
Sometimes I get overwhelmed by a huge feeling of sadness..
I can't prevent this feeling in the bud
(so as not to experience it so OFTEN).
It feels like a huge burden consisting of worries, regrets, feelings of guilt,
]feelings of loss, loneliness, and all this mixed with various fears.
]feelings of loss, loneliness, and all this mixed with various fears.
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Sometimes I think of my dear ones,
or pets that are no longer alive,
and I start to cry bitterly, because I'm still sad that they're no longer with us.
Most of the time, I blame myself for any mistakes, and at such moments,
I absolutely do not care how they happened
Most of the time, I blame myself for any mistakes, and at such moments,
I absolutely do not care how they happened
(for example, due to misunderstandings, accidents, or events that could not be controlled by anyone at all).
It doesn't matter to me, because it's at this moment that I get reallyangry with myself :(
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I worry too much about other people,
sometimes my experience goes beyond all boundaries,
because this feeling it becomes so big, as if my burden is much greater
than the grief of the person who went through it.
than the grief of the person who went through it.
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It's very hard for me to control my emotions. If I'm angry, I can't stop
the anger from bubbling up. If I'm sad, I can't get rid of the nagging
desire to ruin everyone's day (my terrible trait*).
They take a lot of energy, they take away your health, they take away your time.
And most often they are meaningless.
But now (in 2026), my emotions have become
much stronger than myself. I've never felt so often that "there's no way out",
and it overwhelms everything that exists nearby.
the anger from bubbling up. If I'm sad, I can't get rid of the nagging
desire to ruin everyone's day (my terrible trait*).
They take a lot of energy, they take away your health, they take away your time.
And most often they are meaningless.
But now (in 2026), my emotions have become
much stronger than myself. I've never felt so often that "there's no way out",
and it overwhelms everything that exists nearby.
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Panic
horror
and fear.
πππππ(This is a drawing from 2021!)
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