*pets you* awe...don't be sad ):

i try but no luck

Don't dwell on the past dude. What's done is done, best that you honor her memory and move on.

well its not just her thats getting me down its a lot of things from the past and now

I can relate dude. If you ever need someone to talk to, let me know ok?

*hugs tightly* im sorry your in pain dude... i wish i could make things better :/

me too man...

Sometimes you have to reach inside and embrace your pain to let it out. If you try not to feel it or ignore it, it'll stay inside and grow. If you feel it but don't embrace it, you'll simply be in pain. Embracing is painful, because it's forgiving oneself, perhaps for things you don't think should be forgiven, and that's what makes it difficult. I know I shouldn't be forgiven for many things, but to embrace your pain rather than staying separated that is what you must do, convince yourself you deserve to be forgiven.

I'm not sure if this helps, hope so. Stay strong Jakes and be well.

Its really hard man. So much has happened to me in my life and the only way I have really been able to clear my head and be happy was when I was with my friends back home. Since I have been gone it has slowly been building and it just keeps getting worse. I have friends here but it isnt the same at all... my friends back home are so close to me and I dont think I will ever have friends that close again. I want them back... they make me feel happy

I'm so sorry. I hope you can come home soon, even if that may seem a dream. In the mean time, I can only suggest finding kindred spirits, and trying to be a light for others. I'm sure it may seem like hell, but I think selflessness is the only answer. It looks like there's a fight starting on the home front, and I don't think we can afford to back down now. If it's within our power, we'll bring you back.

<hugs>