It was a time when Crim the dog never did what he hadn’t ever done. He was fuck footing his way around Tzeentch’s library, when his dick slapped into a furry ass pile of shit; a pile the likes of which Crim had only dreamed of. As he thought of what to first with his new found treasure, Crim noticed that his shit pile was breathing. Upon this discovery Crim's face slid down into the sweaty protection of his glorious man tits. Being a certified genius Crim had only one option, so he climbed atop his furry shit pile, and began to add to its glory. Before the first piece of shit could fall from Crim's ass brow, the furry mass erupted with the force of one billion cripples!
“What the fuck kind of a bear are you!”, roared the shit pile, and Crim being ever so clever replied, “You’re a bear!”, his lips shaking like the asses of the black girls he like to watch on TV. The bear would have none of this and looked Crim foot to toe, and said, “You’re a fucking red panda. This is not what I wanted. FUCK CHINA!” With this the bear shat out a shit of solid gold shit. He then turned to Crim and told him, “you son, are a fuck shit bear, but you’re still a bear. We’ll cover more ground if you don’t fuck up. I’ll go this way.” And before Crim could learn to knit the bear had turned and raped his way through half as many book shelves as Crim could count, but as we all know Crim can’t drive, so the bear was long gone.
“Mr. Beer, can I have your poop?” Crim asked to Noone. And after a brief nod Noone said yes. With a pant shitting of delight, Crim the dog scooped up the golden shit, and gently set it upon his cock shaped head, and in doing so imagined what his best friend Ducky would say when he saw Crim's new poop hat. (“you’re a real shit head now Crim, don’t ever fucking breath again”) wanting to go show his friends as soon as possible, Crim the dog turned toward a book shelf, and did what any self-respecting bear would do, and ran his gimp ass head first into it. As Crim was not a bear he did not crash through the book shelf. No, all he managed to do was to cripple his fuck wit spine for years to come.