((Couldn't sleep so decided to abuse The Night Before xmas))

Twas the Night of the first hard snow, when all through the house,

I though just one creature was stirring, Just me clicking my mouse.

The Tv was on, filling the room with flickering glare,

Turned down low, so the commercials wouldn't blare.

My roommates asleep, all conked out in their beds,

While visions of Glee danced in to a one hit wonder in their heads.

With one in his man cave, the other probably passed out after a fap...

The other settled in, after drinking herself a night cap.

The hour was late but to me that didnt matter,

As insomnia was driving me as mad as a hatter.

Tv was annoying me, with another music video from the Clash

So I grabbed the remote and only found reruns of Mash.

I got up and went to the window to look at the snow,

It reflected the streetlamp with a ugly yellow glow.

When, what on my right shoulder, should suddenly appear,

But a large spider, with eight eyes right near my ear!

With a EEP! and a shudder I slapped it away quick,

But just the touch of my hand on it made me sick!

More rapid than the flash, my girlish scream came,

I may have also uttered in vane more than one gods holy name.

"Fuck Budda! Fuck Krishna! Fuck even Odin!"

"Gods Damn It! What in the name of J. R. R. Tolken?!"

To the other side of the room, to the light switch on the wall,

In the light I could see twenty more crawl!

Dangling from threads many more appeared to fly.

Crawling from a light fixture the sight made me want to cry.

To escape the cold outside into the house they flew,

through the attic into our warm house they made their way too.

Thinking them of them coming in through the roof,

Made all my fur floof, just like a cotton poof!

As I ran to the closet my heart was a bound

My mind a race, too find something around.

To crush these bugs, since I could not use my foot,

I grabbed a can of bug spray, hoping no spark would render the house to soot.

But by the time I returned, much to my own near heart attack,

The spiders had fled, not even leaving a bit of a track!

I felt their cold eyes upon me, all twinkling and probably merry,

Knowing with them in there, there is no way I could tarry.

Not knowing where they were, there was only one place I could head,

To lock my door, and hide under the covers of my bed.

So now here I sit, imagining all those little spiders out of sight.

How now will I sleep? This is going to be a long night...


I hoped you like it... A true story from tonight unfortunately!