Okay 1st things 1st. Remember how I told u that the story was writing itself? That's what it was. When you left to go get Maria you could easily see a change in the friendship and I said "Hey why not?" and just wrote it as is. That takes care of comment 1 and 2. comment 3 that may change and i'll just add some scenes or Dialougue with ur tough attitiude. as 4 comment 4 i agree with the whole WR team kicking ass. It's gonna be you, Maria, Hige, Kiba, and somehow Toboe(have 2 figure that out) and with me, Steve, Markus, Tsume, and Raymond. Beth will b somewhere else doing whatever. With the leader thing. You have the right idea but I tried to show it instead of telling it in our actions. Like every1 doing stuff individually. like you going to get Maria, Me going up to Lincoln, Markus doing his thing, and Steve only coming in when needed taking out the whole leader thing. If it doesn't seem like that in the story than i'll havce to fix it. Plus it's gonna be tough with the whole fight thing cause i'm gonna have to come up with what each person does. Plus I have to come up with an ending. A good one though or if I want a really random one. Like After the fights done Cloud drives into the Gym in his motorcycle and goes "Hey how's it going?" and he used Knights of the Round and kill Tim and his crew.

nice eye. very captivating. i was looking at it for 20 minutes before i could finally write a comment.

lol that's cool.