The Index of this paper: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2879428/

Please leave your comments and questions, and I will answer them later on. I hope that this is a viable source of information for you. Please enjoy. "To create art, but to change the world." It could be the entire world, someone else's or even your own. But this paper is to make you think. I cannot change you, but I can make you think about the topic at hand.


Everyone will have this question burning in the pit of their stomach. "Why would he cheat on me? We were so good together and we were so happy. I dont understand." Unbenounced to me, I think I stumbled across a few answeres I think are the true reasons for why we sometimes will have subconsious urges to cheat, and how we can prevent it.

First off, what is considered cheating?: Most people would say that it is when we gock at someone else other than our spouce or potential spouce. Right? Well actually, it isnt. Having sexual fantasies about other people is normal for people to experience and looking at them is admiring, not cheating. There is a very risky and thin line between admiration, infatuation, and love. Admiration is when you see a certain physical feature in a person and find it attractive. Who knows? Maybe even fanticise about it one or twice. Thats why we have pornos and why couples watch them to gain inspiration for their own physical pleasures.

Infatuation is when you think you are in love with a person either because they are physically attractive, charming, or even a real sweetie to you. But it is not true love, it is a form of lust that we long to be with a person like that and sometimes wish we WERE that person. But keep in mind while the person who has an infatuation with someone does not mean anything more than a quick flash in the pan. A fling or a mini relationship not meant to last very long. Some even last for months and months but do not exactly work out in the end because they try to fool themselves that the relationship will work without really giving it much thought as to how it will or will not and mostly ends with a heart broken.

Love: often called a many splendor thing, people will often tell people they love them and maybe really mean it. But I guarentee you if you were to ask them what was the definition of love, they would get the answer wrong. Close, but no cigar. Love is not always a strong phyiscal or emotional attraction between people and quite honestly does not happen a lot though people may say it does. People have to realize that love is not meant to last forever. Diamonds, people, relationships, memories, twinkies you name it. They may be made or produce longevity, but it does not last forever though we would like it to. Many people realize this and because of a nagging fear in the back of their heads, will cheat on their spouce because they are affraid that their love will end or their lover will soon realize that they arent a perfect match and try to find another before its too late.

Tisk tisk to those who suffer from that. But another form of cheating that occurs are what I refure to as "sparks." A spark is a sudden heightening of emotions and/or hormones that cause a normal, not very sexual person to become a wild, crazy sex demon who is constantly looking for someone to fuck him. Subconsiously, rape victims often suffer from this delema, or one similar. Because a rape victim at the time of the event is humiliated and tortured by the sight of their own face in the mirror, they will try and become less sexually active because they are affraid of feeling the agony and hurt that may arrise from the time they were raped; like the tides of the ocean, the smaller the waves get at one point in time, the larger they will become in the future. Back to those few who suffered rape, many will try to whore themselves out and try to find the love that they had been deprived of from the time of their misfortune or to, in a sence, gain the control that they could not have when they suffered their moment of shame. Suffering in silence, rape victims force a smile and subconsiously seek out drama in order to have a certain comfort zone in either feeling the support of friend people who are near in their times of need, or to help the people who are suffering from drama in order to become the hero in their lives and in the hopes of conquering having abandonment issues. Instead of feeling disgust and turning noses up at the unfortunate few, take the time to help them. Put yourself in their shoes. They already blame themselves for something far beyond their control.

"But Zeric, I wasnt raped and yet I still have an urge to cheat on my spouce and I try so hard to hold it in but I cannot. Why is that and what can I do?" -If this is a question that is probably racing through your mind, than we have reached the point of our discussion. Many people who do not have sex very often and those who have sex constantly are in jepordy for a spouce you cheat.

Those who have sex constantly will soon get tired because instead of seeing it as a novalty and treasuring that closeness with the one they love, they will grow to feel like it is just a regular routine thing, and it will soon grow boaring for both people. What does that have to do with cheating? In order to find excitement and a "thrill" from sex, they will purposefully seek out different sexual partners in order to recapture the rush from an orgasm again instead of thinking "lets just get it over with."
On the flip side of the coin, couples who are not having sex very often try to find other places or people where they will be able to have that feeling of closeness and warmth because they are unable to find that physical pleasure at home. Like everything, it is wonderful in moderation. Do not go from one extreme to the other or the results will end the the same way: a heightened possibility of cheating.

The wondering eye is also a very extremely hard case. When someone has the wondering eye or is with someone for the wrong reasons, that this is what applies to that person. The wandering eye is also for people who are desperate for a relationship or have been deprived of a meaningful relationship and in some cases will try to make up for it by having many relationships.

In conclusion, there are a few simple steps to solving these issues that seem minor, but could later manicest itself into a much larger problem if not dealt with properly.

First thing to do is to only have sex or rp 2 or 3 times a week. I guarentee if you save it, it will feel explosive. Second, talk to your spouce or lover about this problem and express your concerns. Be open and if they truly love you they will be able to help you deal with these inner urges that may feel like they will consume you. It is normal to WANT to cheat on a spouce in order to create a sort of excitement that you want to recapture. Love is a two way street and it cannot be corrected if both partners are not voicing their concerns and being honest with each other despite what you may fear they will do. Be up front and honest, or face possible breaking up. We all deserve happiness and the truth. If you are willing to voice your concerns, be willing to listen as well, or no progress can be made. Remember that sex is not just to feel good, but meant to share with a person whom you should hold in your heart as your one and only. Sex feels good, but it is the joining of the flesh of two who wish to share a life together. Two hearts, two bodies, two souls. In sex, it is the process in which these two become one. One soul sharing two bodies. That is the reason for lovers who are truly meant to be.

Good luck to you all, and I hope you will comment with your questions.