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Nikolai (original song) In loving memory of a dear friend
This was painful to write.
It all flowed to the paper so seamlessly. I edited one line. I think it speaks for itself.
Nikolai was so important to so many people and everyone who knew him loved him very much. I will miss him a lot. We will all mis him a lot.
In case anyone one might need it, here is a less furry link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVYsdi9csLo
Lyrics:
How Can I say what you meant to us?
My dear friend.
How can I speak for the rest of us?
When words are all I have.
You were all that we had
You were all we could be
You were all this and more, it’s true
Not a life left untouched
Not a joy left unseen
In the transparent puddle of you
You were so hard to touch
Why was feeling you so easy?
You were always the one with the innocence
My dear friend
A towering glimpse of existence
And what we should share
Like all of our love
All of our pain
All of our hopes and fears
All of our grudges left un-reconciled
Lovingly painted with tears.
You know you were far to good
To walk in a world with such evil
All we can do is remember you
My dear friend
These precious little gifts we have left of you
Are how we know you cared
The sound of your voice
The warmth of your smile
The truth that you spoke so clear
The childlike look that you had in your eyes
The friendship that lasted for years.
Nikolai I sure hope you’re alright
And that you know we love you
It all flowed to the paper so seamlessly. I edited one line. I think it speaks for itself.
Nikolai was so important to so many people and everyone who knew him loved him very much. I will miss him a lot. We will all mis him a lot.
In case anyone one might need it, here is a less furry link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVYsdi9csLo
Lyrics:
How Can I say what you meant to us?
My dear friend.
How can I speak for the rest of us?
When words are all I have.
You were all that we had
You were all we could be
You were all this and more, it’s true
Not a life left untouched
Not a joy left unseen
In the transparent puddle of you
You were so hard to touch
Why was feeling you so easy?
You were always the one with the innocence
My dear friend
A towering glimpse of existence
And what we should share
Like all of our love
All of our pain
All of our hopes and fears
All of our grudges left un-reconciled
Lovingly painted with tears.
You know you were far to good
To walk in a world with such evil
All we can do is remember you
My dear friend
These precious little gifts we have left of you
Are how we know you cared
The sound of your voice
The warmth of your smile
The truth that you spoke so clear
The childlike look that you had in your eyes
The friendship that lasted for years.
Nikolai I sure hope you’re alright
And that you know we love you
Category Music / Rock
Species Vulpine (Other)
Size 113 x 120px
File Size 4.17 MB
I'm so glad I got to tell him how much he meant to me, and to be able to get as close to Nik and Daniel as I have. This song Drew, can't even say hard this was to listen to, but purely beautiful. I was always there for Nik as best as I could, and will keep doing so as I have for Daniel. <3
This was the hardest thing I have every had to write and I feel it was also one of the most important things I have ever done. I wrote this the the very next day, while Daniel was back at the apartment and Syrras was at work. I had a whole quiet house all to myself and I was able to write little bits here and there in between having to walk away from it feeling overwhelmed. I would have sent you an mp3 in a private email but I didn't have one for you. I am glad that you like it, I hope his mother does too. I hope that you are doing ok dude. If you want to come hang out please do so. I am sure Daniel would like to see you as would I, and I want to introduce Syrras to more people that he might like. We all need to be as supportive as possible to each other right now. You were very important to Nik and that means you are important to me. This is not a statement I make lightly. Mi casa, su casa, as they say were I am from. You can't be imposing on anyone at your own house.
It took me about three hours of staring at your post to be able to get myself to listen to the song. I was in instant tears as every single word just went right into me, every little memory I have been so lucky to share with Nik in my head. As I was there for him, and Daniel before when our friendship just started as a "hey you should meet this badass dude Nik!" From Gordi. I can't thank that kid enough for introducing me. It built on of the most important, life effecting relationships I've had. I hold Nik responsible for keeping me sane many times, with out him I would have felt like I had no one when I was in a really bad situation. The only friend to come to my house when I was trying to help a heavy heroin user/ no longer friend of many years. With all my friends no one but Nik would be there time after time, being there not just for Mike and I, but he would still Andrew and Lacey. I've been told I have a big heart, but never have I seen any man with my own eyes, who had a heart like Nik's. He was there for me so many times and I know without him, and Daniel too. I wouldn't have came out of the year long hell of Andrew and Lacey's destructive nature, as I did if it wasn't for Nik being there.
I would more than love to come over sometime soon, I have wanted to just hang out more and get to know you more from the first time Nike told me about you. Then for the..five minutes when I rode my motorcycle over to the apt lol. I also want Daniel to know I'll do whatever I can in my powers to help and be there for him as they both were for me. As close as Nik and I got, that just grew for Daniel as well. I want to make sure Daniel knows I'm always around for him, and you guys too. We need to spend more time together, you guys are more than welcome in my home <3
I would more than love to come over sometime soon, I have wanted to just hang out more and get to know you more from the first time Nike told me about you. Then for the..five minutes when I rode my motorcycle over to the apt lol. I also want Daniel to know I'll do whatever I can in my powers to help and be there for him as they both were for me. As close as Nik and I got, that just grew for Daniel as well. I want to make sure Daniel knows I'm always around for him, and you guys too. We need to spend more time together, you guys are more than welcome in my home <3
I don't think mine shines quite as bright as his did. Nik taught me some very important lessons about forgiveness and looking on the bright side rather than the negative side of people that I met. Compared with him I am a very angry, mean and vindictive person, but much less now having known him.
I THink that pretty much every one who knew him very well let him know. During my last month of knowing him I told him that I loved him and I am sure I am not alone in having shared that sentiment with him. Sometimes, no matter how much people show their love and affection for a troubled friend there is nothing that anyone can do to prevent something like this from happening. It wasn't a failure on the part of any of his friends that this happened. I am sure that had he not had so many supportive friends and a boyfriend who loved him very much that he may have not lasted as long as he did. He had a lot of pain both physical and emotional. It did not stop him from being one of the most wonderful people in all of our lives.
There was no implication meant that you or his other friends didn't try hard enough. I meant maybe even with all your best efforts there was something shielding him from fully accepting that love which ended up for the worst, but I don't know how the situation was at all, only that there is one less human being in the world and we're worse off for it given how great of a guy you say he had been.
While I don't think it's as wonderful as yours,
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7002057/
Here's to him, guys.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7002057/
Here's to him, guys.
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