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dont feel obligated
Category Artwork (Digital) / Animal related (non-anthro)
Species Dog (Other)
Size 400 x 800px
File Size 602.5 kB
It's not obligation that makes people love you. Obligation breeds contempt and entrapment. They love you because you're a part of their lives and they see something in you that they've bonded to. Some part of your individuality and what makes you, you. And if they are here watching you and still supporting you it's because they love you flaws and all, it's scary and seems too good to be true when people care like that but just go with it. What do you have to lose by letting them help at this point?
I sincerely hope things get better, you have an admirable support system of friends
I sincerely hope things get better, you have an admirable support system of friends
i just wish people would stop giving a shit about me, i will never be 'okay'. i will never not think i am worthless. i don't know what sort of chemical imbalances make me this way, but there's nothing i can do to stop these thoughts. except being fucked up all day, but i haven't even got access to drugs, so that's not an option anymore. people telling me that i'm worth something or that i'm a good person doesn't help me, i can't believe it. at all. i just can't. i can't help myself and nothing can help me. that is why i am worthless.
This sounds like what I've been diagnosed with (legit, not internet diagnosis, before that gets brought up) which I won't mention because it's apparently now one of those "cool kid" disorders. I know you don't want to hear it because it sounds condescending even to me, but I don't mean it like that, so I'm going to say it anyway: your teenage years are going to be the hardest. I was exactly this way at your age. I'm not saying "get older, get smarter, get better" or anything like that, because that's stupid. But teenage years are hard enough without all the shit you're going through internally. I feel for you, man. Been there. Still there much of the time.
But with time and lots of help and support, I'm at least managing it. Even if you feel like there's no hope, don't think "there's nothing I can do." I know when you're low, it feels like you're never, ever going to be happy again and you can't even really remember what it feels like, so you think you must never have really experienced it at all, and when you're always low, for days and weeks on end without a break, you just get used to feeling that way, but there's things that can help. There are treatments. There are ways to manage it. You don't have access to them at this time, but they're there. There is hope.
If I can help you, I will. I like you, even if you can't believe it. You might think you are worthless, but you're worth it to lots of people here. I think we outvoted you. <3
But with time and lots of help and support, I'm at least managing it. Even if you feel like there's no hope, don't think "there's nothing I can do." I know when you're low, it feels like you're never, ever going to be happy again and you can't even really remember what it feels like, so you think you must never have really experienced it at all, and when you're always low, for days and weeks on end without a break, you just get used to feeling that way, but there's things that can help. There are treatments. There are ways to manage it. You don't have access to them at this time, but they're there. There is hope.
If I can help you, I will. I like you, even if you can't believe it. You might think you are worthless, but you're worth it to lots of people here. I think we outvoted you. <3
but it's not like i'm even living a typical teenager life. i don't hang out with people, i don't talk to people, i don't go anywhere, i don't do anything. i sleep, i stare at a computer screen, i walk my dog, i go to a math class for an hour and forty five minutes a day to get my GED, i come home, i stare at the computer screen some more, and then go back to sleep. that is my life, exactly. i do nothing else. i'm not even exaggerating. and the fact that my entire existence is fucking meaningless isn't what bothers me, it's that nothing i do can ever stop the way i feel. i used to think having a life and friends might help, but i know it won't.
i don't even know what i want anymore. i want people, i want them to leave me. i want love, i feel like i don't deserve love. i beg people to stay, and then i tell them that i fucking hate them so that they will leave me and be better off than to have me in their lives. every little thing makes me too emotional, everything pushes me over the edge, i can't stand it. i don't even know why. my life is fine. i'm not a starving child in africa with aids. and it just makes me feel worse, because here i am bawwring about nothing while people in the world have LEGIT shitty lives. i don't deserve anything that i have.
even if i never do anything with my life, i just want this fucking feeling to stop. i can't even describe it, how can you describe a feeling? it just never ends. nothing i ever do will make it stop.
i don't even know what i want anymore. i want people, i want them to leave me. i want love, i feel like i don't deserve love. i beg people to stay, and then i tell them that i fucking hate them so that they will leave me and be better off than to have me in their lives. every little thing makes me too emotional, everything pushes me over the edge, i can't stand it. i don't even know why. my life is fine. i'm not a starving child in africa with aids. and it just makes me feel worse, because here i am bawwring about nothing while people in the world have LEGIT shitty lives. i don't deserve anything that i have.
even if i never do anything with my life, i just want this fucking feeling to stop. i can't even describe it, how can you describe a feeling? it just never ends. nothing i ever do will make it stop.
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