Very interesting and good. A little advice sometimes it's good to give a little back story, don't just hop into the transformation because it doesn't give depth to the story. sometimes a good thing to do is write a squeal or a series, it doesn't work for all writers but some find it easy to write long stories.

Writers and readers their paths cross yet each person walks their own path but we are all writers and readers. Painters and viewers are the same. The writer or painter can spark ideas in the reader or viewer but the reader and viewer can inspire the painter and writter so the cycle of the arts continues no matter what you try.

You thought I needed more back story? At what part, just in general or for the specific meeting of pan and the investigator?

Thought it was pretty good. Liked the length, flow, and descriptions. :3

very nice story i like it toby ^.^

Wow, you told the story very well. The narration was flowing the whole way through. The description of the transformation itself was well written and the interaction between your characters speaks volumes. I'm definitely faving this and I can't wait to see what else you write in the future.

One thing bothered me. You mention his knees straiten and his ankles become his new knees. That is not how deer anatomy works:

http://digicoll.library.wisc.edu/Sc.....arge/0060x.jpg

It is basically standing on its toes and still has bendable knees.

Other than that, a quick glance shows me you have a good grip on writing and I hope to see more of your work.

Hrm, very interesting I'll take make some edits to my story and re-upload it later on tonight when I get home. Thank you for pointing that out, I'll be more careful in the future.