(yes i am going to bitch and moan.)
i NEED to be poetry savey, i need to know how to make things that are beautiful and i am desperate to no longer have a feeling of being empty and worthless and i know thta to do this i need to fully realize and know completely that no matter what i do or where i go there will always be someone better than me and when i fully comprehend that, then i will finally be able to be my best, and make things that are beautiful. i like to think that i am better than most people because most people express the intelect of one who is in junior high, and i would like to express both the knowledge and wisdom of some one who is 3 times my age which at times is what i feel. i see so much detail in the world dispite my bad eyes and i use this to show in a physical form and hopefully show people what i see, maybe even feel what i feel.
i am a survivor and i am ALIVE but that is not good enough anymore what i need is to live and that is why i want to be savey in poetry, music (the good stuff), novels, ceramic, and painted art; now is that so much to ask? what i really need is to forget my life before and find a new one, but i dont think i know how.