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So here we go. First story. EVAR. Sort of. Let me know what you think. Like, really. Leave a comment, it means a lot to me.
Chapter one is clean, although there is a hint as to what's coming.
Criticism would be nice, I need to improve, I know that much. A helpful nudge in the right direction would be fantastic.
Ayuma's Adventures in Azeroth
Chapter one
Ayuma sighed and rolled her heavy shoulders. How was it possibly morning already? She sat for a moment on the edge of her bed, before rubbing the sleep from her eyes and looking out the window of her small hut on Thunder Bluff. It was a beautiful Autumn morning in the valley of Mulgore. A light mist clung to the lush green hills, and birds flew overhead, singing. Noting the position of the sun in the sky, Ayuma realised that it was still very early. Still, she was awake now. Besides, if it was early, she might even be able to enjoy a quiet walk before the town got busy. Ayuma sighed quietly, and planted her hooves on the wooden floor with a soft thud, before standing and making her way to her dresser. Picking out some comfortable cloth garments, she slipped them on, and picked up a few flasks and a small bag of coin before heading out into the eerily quiet town.
Ayuma was a proud Tauren. Many adventures of Azeroth preferred to live in the Orcish capital of Orgrimmar, but it was far too noisy and polluted for Ayuma, who enjoyed the beauty and tranquillity of Mulgore. Besides, Orgrimmar was only a short flight away, and she had so many good memories of her earliest training as a sunwalker here. No; She belonged in Thunder Bluff. Ayuma's light brown fur shone almost like bronze in the morning light, the low lying sun casting shadows that accentuated her feminine form. Her hips swayed as she walked, tail swishing back and forth, almost hypnotic in nature. Large, yet average for her species, breasts bouncing gently, framed by a very attractive face, worked together to make any male drool. Upon her head were two longish, tan coloured horns, that swept backwards, gracefully. Her arms were toned from years of brandishing various large swords and axes. In fact her whole body was the product of a lot of hard work and exercise. Wearing a full set of plate armour did have it's benefits, aparently.
Ayuma passed a baker, and purchased some fresh bread for a light breakfast, and exchanged some small talk with him, before moving on to the edge of one of the cliffs that gave Thunder Bluff it's name. She stood on the edge for a moment, and took in all the smells the easterly breeze took with it, before giving a sharp whistle. Moments later a large purple dragon, with wings that looked almost like glowing mist, rose from the cliff face, before landing heavily beside Ayuma. She cuddled the angular head of the beast affectionately, and received a nuzzle and cute rumble from the dragon in return, before dropping the bread and flasks in a small linen bag attached to the dragon's saddle.
“Hello there Kiri.” She cooed to the dragon, as she jumped up onto it's back, taking the soft leather reins into her three fingered hands. She gave the reins a small tug and the huge beast began to flap. Ayuma reached into the linen bag, retrieved the bread and took a large bite, as she steered her mount with her other hand, towards Orgrimmar.
Once Ayuma reached Orgrimmar, she fished the flasks out of the saddle bag and let Kiri go; who quickly took off again to chase some strange looking birds. It was so different in the capital of the Horde. The city already bustling with races of all kinds. A short goblin was standing on a wooden crate yelling something about a big breakthrough with his latest invention, trying to attract the attention of potential paying customers. Ayuma wasn't interested in a rocket powered chicken though. She made her way through the crowds to an inn, before opening the heavy door and stepping through into the lowly lit bar.
“Ahh, Ayuma! Just the Tauren I wanted to see.” Came a familiar voice from across the room.
“Greetings Morag!” Ayuma waved to the green skinned Orc, who owned the bar. “I have those flasks for you.”
“Excellent!” He exclaimed. “I owe you for this.”
“You can pay me back by telling me the name of a good Blacksmith. I need someone to fix my sword, but it requires some special attention.” Ayuma responded.
“What sort of attention?” He inquired.
“The hilt is broken, but it's of a strange design. I was told it couldn't be fixed, but I'm sure if I found someone with a little more knowledge...” She sighed.
“Well there was someone in here last night. Hands as big as anvils. Face covered in soot. Tuho, I believe his name was. Big Tauren fellow. I've seen him at the local smithy before. Might be a good place to start.” said Morag.
“And you think he can fix the hilt?” She asked.
“I have no idea. But I've heard he's the best in Kalimdor. They're closed this early, but he may be in there, getting ready for the day. Try your luck.” He replied. Ayuma knew the forges were closed in the mornings, as they heated the furnaces. But she was willing to try.
“Thanks, I'll give it a go! See you!” She exclaimed as she ran out of the bar in excitement.
“Be safe!” Morag called after her.
Once out into the busy street, Ayuma jogged across Orgrimmar to the bank to retrieve her damaged sword, and then over to the smithy. She looked quite bizarre sprinting across the town in a dress, huge sword slung over one shoulder. Once at the forge, she knocked on the door, which was quite thick, judging by the sound of it.
“We're closed.” Came the gruff, muted voice, from the other side of the door.
“I'm looking for Tuho.” Ayuma called back. A few moments later the door opened with a heavy creak, and in the frame stood a large, black-furred Tauren.
“I'm Tuho. What do you want? The forges are cold.” He stated bluntly in a deep voice, befitting his stature.
“I need the hilt on this repaired.” As she said 'this' she swung the sword off her shoulder, and drove it into the soft earth between them. “Strange hilt. Can you fix it?”
Tuho grunted. “Of course I can. Come in while you wait.” He said, picking up the weapon with ease, before turning and walking inside. Ayuma walked in behind him and closed the door behind them with a heavy thud. She sat on a large anvil in the middle of the room and swung her legs while she watched Tuho take her sword to a workbench to begin repairing it. She eyed him while he worked, watching his large biceps flex with each movement. He wore no shirt, and just simple leather pants to protect his modesty. His fur was as black as night, and she was unsure if he was just covered in soot, or if it was his natural colour. Very little was said between the two while Tuho worked, but soon he was finished.
“There. Done.” Tuho grunted, turning around and holding out the weapon. Ayuma stood and grasped the weapon by the new hilt, swinging it a few times to test it's strength.
“Nice! How much do I owe you?” She asked, satisfied at the blacksmith's work.
“24 silver.” Tuho grunted. Ayuma was a little surprised at the price, but the expertise required on the repairs justified it. She reached to her hip for her bag, only to find that it wasn't there. She looked around thinking she'd dropped it, before realising it was still on Kiri's saddle. She laughed nervously.
“I just realised I left my money on my mount. Hang on a second, I'll just go get it.” She turned to leave, but a heavy hand on her shoulder stopped her.
“Maybe there's another way you can pay...” Tuho said suggestively.
Chapter one is clean, although there is a hint as to what's coming.
Criticism would be nice, I need to improve, I know that much. A helpful nudge in the right direction would be fantastic.
Ayuma's Adventures in Azeroth
Chapter one
Ayuma sighed and rolled her heavy shoulders. How was it possibly morning already? She sat for a moment on the edge of her bed, before rubbing the sleep from her eyes and looking out the window of her small hut on Thunder Bluff. It was a beautiful Autumn morning in the valley of Mulgore. A light mist clung to the lush green hills, and birds flew overhead, singing. Noting the position of the sun in the sky, Ayuma realised that it was still very early. Still, she was awake now. Besides, if it was early, she might even be able to enjoy a quiet walk before the town got busy. Ayuma sighed quietly, and planted her hooves on the wooden floor with a soft thud, before standing and making her way to her dresser. Picking out some comfortable cloth garments, she slipped them on, and picked up a few flasks and a small bag of coin before heading out into the eerily quiet town.
Ayuma was a proud Tauren. Many adventures of Azeroth preferred to live in the Orcish capital of Orgrimmar, but it was far too noisy and polluted for Ayuma, who enjoyed the beauty and tranquillity of Mulgore. Besides, Orgrimmar was only a short flight away, and she had so many good memories of her earliest training as a sunwalker here. No; She belonged in Thunder Bluff. Ayuma's light brown fur shone almost like bronze in the morning light, the low lying sun casting shadows that accentuated her feminine form. Her hips swayed as she walked, tail swishing back and forth, almost hypnotic in nature. Large, yet average for her species, breasts bouncing gently, framed by a very attractive face, worked together to make any male drool. Upon her head were two longish, tan coloured horns, that swept backwards, gracefully. Her arms were toned from years of brandishing various large swords and axes. In fact her whole body was the product of a lot of hard work and exercise. Wearing a full set of plate armour did have it's benefits, aparently.
Ayuma passed a baker, and purchased some fresh bread for a light breakfast, and exchanged some small talk with him, before moving on to the edge of one of the cliffs that gave Thunder Bluff it's name. She stood on the edge for a moment, and took in all the smells the easterly breeze took with it, before giving a sharp whistle. Moments later a large purple dragon, with wings that looked almost like glowing mist, rose from the cliff face, before landing heavily beside Ayuma. She cuddled the angular head of the beast affectionately, and received a nuzzle and cute rumble from the dragon in return, before dropping the bread and flasks in a small linen bag attached to the dragon's saddle.
“Hello there Kiri.” She cooed to the dragon, as she jumped up onto it's back, taking the soft leather reins into her three fingered hands. She gave the reins a small tug and the huge beast began to flap. Ayuma reached into the linen bag, retrieved the bread and took a large bite, as she steered her mount with her other hand, towards Orgrimmar.
Once Ayuma reached Orgrimmar, she fished the flasks out of the saddle bag and let Kiri go; who quickly took off again to chase some strange looking birds. It was so different in the capital of the Horde. The city already bustling with races of all kinds. A short goblin was standing on a wooden crate yelling something about a big breakthrough with his latest invention, trying to attract the attention of potential paying customers. Ayuma wasn't interested in a rocket powered chicken though. She made her way through the crowds to an inn, before opening the heavy door and stepping through into the lowly lit bar.
“Ahh, Ayuma! Just the Tauren I wanted to see.” Came a familiar voice from across the room.
“Greetings Morag!” Ayuma waved to the green skinned Orc, who owned the bar. “I have those flasks for you.”
“Excellent!” He exclaimed. “I owe you for this.”
“You can pay me back by telling me the name of a good Blacksmith. I need someone to fix my sword, but it requires some special attention.” Ayuma responded.
“What sort of attention?” He inquired.
“The hilt is broken, but it's of a strange design. I was told it couldn't be fixed, but I'm sure if I found someone with a little more knowledge...” She sighed.
“Well there was someone in here last night. Hands as big as anvils. Face covered in soot. Tuho, I believe his name was. Big Tauren fellow. I've seen him at the local smithy before. Might be a good place to start.” said Morag.
“And you think he can fix the hilt?” She asked.
“I have no idea. But I've heard he's the best in Kalimdor. They're closed this early, but he may be in there, getting ready for the day. Try your luck.” He replied. Ayuma knew the forges were closed in the mornings, as they heated the furnaces. But she was willing to try.
“Thanks, I'll give it a go! See you!” She exclaimed as she ran out of the bar in excitement.
“Be safe!” Morag called after her.
Once out into the busy street, Ayuma jogged across Orgrimmar to the bank to retrieve her damaged sword, and then over to the smithy. She looked quite bizarre sprinting across the town in a dress, huge sword slung over one shoulder. Once at the forge, she knocked on the door, which was quite thick, judging by the sound of it.
“We're closed.” Came the gruff, muted voice, from the other side of the door.
“I'm looking for Tuho.” Ayuma called back. A few moments later the door opened with a heavy creak, and in the frame stood a large, black-furred Tauren.
“I'm Tuho. What do you want? The forges are cold.” He stated bluntly in a deep voice, befitting his stature.
“I need the hilt on this repaired.” As she said 'this' she swung the sword off her shoulder, and drove it into the soft earth between them. “Strange hilt. Can you fix it?”
Tuho grunted. “Of course I can. Come in while you wait.” He said, picking up the weapon with ease, before turning and walking inside. Ayuma walked in behind him and closed the door behind them with a heavy thud. She sat on a large anvil in the middle of the room and swung her legs while she watched Tuho take her sword to a workbench to begin repairing it. She eyed him while he worked, watching his large biceps flex with each movement. He wore no shirt, and just simple leather pants to protect his modesty. His fur was as black as night, and she was unsure if he was just covered in soot, or if it was his natural colour. Very little was said between the two while Tuho worked, but soon he was finished.
“There. Done.” Tuho grunted, turning around and holding out the weapon. Ayuma stood and grasped the weapon by the new hilt, swinging it a few times to test it's strength.
“Nice! How much do I owe you?” She asked, satisfied at the blacksmith's work.
“24 silver.” Tuho grunted. Ayuma was a little surprised at the price, but the expertise required on the repairs justified it. She reached to her hip for her bag, only to find that it wasn't there. She looked around thinking she'd dropped it, before realising it was still on Kiri's saddle. She laughed nervously.
“I just realised I left my money on my mount. Hang on a second, I'll just go get it.” She turned to leave, but a heavy hand on her shoulder stopped her.
“Maybe there's another way you can pay...” Tuho said suggestively.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 26.7 kB
A story about an attractive female tauren with hints of sexin's later on? Consider me hooked!
But in all seriousness, I like where this is going. Not to mention, it's well written. I suppose my one bit of criticism is that I think there's always room for more description, at least until it gets to the point of superfluity, which I found a tad lacking in parts. That said, I did appreciate the straight-forwardness of the dialogue, so, perhaps balance the two?
Heh, I'm not too used to giving feedback, despite how much I clamor for it. Regardless, I hope that helps. I'll be following this story eagerly. :)
But in all seriousness, I like where this is going. Not to mention, it's well written. I suppose my one bit of criticism is that I think there's always room for more description, at least until it gets to the point of superfluity, which I found a tad lacking in parts. That said, I did appreciate the straight-forwardness of the dialogue, so, perhaps balance the two?
Heh, I'm not too used to giving feedback, despite how much I clamor for it. Regardless, I hope that helps. I'll be following this story eagerly. :)
Hey thanks so much for the praise and advice. I was already going back and cramming more description into it, because I've heard details are everything when writing, but I guess I'll just have to do more!
I'm actually quite humbled to have you interested in my work by the way. You're easily my favourite Warcraft writer on FA. I have to do better, I'm under pressure now D:
I'm actually quite humbled to have you interested in my work by the way. You're easily my favourite Warcraft writer on FA. I have to do better, I'm under pressure now D:
a solid beginning to say the least. i might want to have seen a bit more between thunder bluff and orgimmar it seems like one second she's on her dragon next second she's in origmmar i'm not the best at wow but even i know that not even a dragon goes so fast that you don't get an awesome view of the land between a and b.
but still i have to say you have a good deal of talent.
but still i have to say you have a good deal of talent.
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