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I don't even know what I am.
I've told myself for years I'm a transman. I dress, style my hair, and behave androgynously, with a definite male slant. I use male pronouns online if people don't already know otherwise. However, I still respond to my female name, female pronouns, have made no effort, nor do I have any real desire, to transition. My line of work would make it extremely complicated and detrimental to my ability to keep a job, because the racetrack world is extremely, extremely conservative (and there are no legal discrimination protections in this industry; if someone doesn't like you, they can simply choose to have someone else train or ride his horses).
I am a man, in a woman's body, who pretends every day to be a woman and is unhappy pretending, but has no intention of changing either the body or the charade.
How can I get the people closest to me to call me a man when I can't even call myself one in any other aspect of my life.
I've told myself for years I'm a transman. I dress, style my hair, and behave androgynously, with a definite male slant. I use male pronouns online if people don't already know otherwise. However, I still respond to my female name, female pronouns, have made no effort, nor do I have any real desire, to transition. My line of work would make it extremely complicated and detrimental to my ability to keep a job, because the racetrack world is extremely, extremely conservative (and there are no legal discrimination protections in this industry; if someone doesn't like you, they can simply choose to have someone else train or ride his horses).
I am a man, in a woman's body, who pretends every day to be a woman and is unhappy pretending, but has no intention of changing either the body or the charade.
How can I get the people closest to me to call me a man when I can't even call myself one in any other aspect of my life.
Category All / All
Species Horse
Size 825 x 1155px
File Size 61.1 kB
As stated above, I'm not offended and actually would like to keep that part of how I feel quiet in the Real World, or at least among most of my family as they wouldn't understand.
If there was a BETTER or more legitimate way to transition from female to male like there is with male to female, something that looks more natural....I'd reconsider it, but I am straight and would want to keep the guys who are attracted to FEMALES in my list of people I could potentially date. I'd like to still appeal to them no matter how much I wish or feel like a male on the inside.
It's very hard to explain, but in another world I WOULD want to be male...without a doubt. I am NOT attracted to females and to me a girl with basically an enlarged clit grosses me out and isn't something I'd ever want to do unless I could actually like....sew a penis to myself. lol No offense to ANYBODY else out there, this is just my personal opinion on why -I- would never transition. Not to mention yes, all the stress and disgusting looks from certain areas of family that would just depress me greatly. Right now it's just no worth it.
If there was a BETTER or more legitimate way to transition from female to male like there is with male to female, something that looks more natural....I'd reconsider it, but I am straight and would want to keep the guys who are attracted to FEMALES in my list of people I could potentially date. I'd like to still appeal to them no matter how much I wish or feel like a male on the inside.
It's very hard to explain, but in another world I WOULD want to be male...without a doubt. I am NOT attracted to females and to me a girl with basically an enlarged clit grosses me out and isn't something I'd ever want to do unless I could actually like....sew a penis to myself. lol No offense to ANYBODY else out there, this is just my personal opinion on why -I- would never transition. Not to mention yes, all the stress and disgusting looks from certain areas of family that would just depress me greatly. Right now it's just no worth it.
My partner is a transman, and even after 3 years now on Testosterone some people still mistake him for female.
After coming out to close friends and family most people were good about using male pronouns, but some just can't seem to get it right no matter what.
I'm sort of like you, but kind of the opposite. I'm something of an apathetic transwoman. I would like to be female and I present as female where possible in the digital world, but I'm really not fussed about being regarded as male in the real world. Transitioning just seems way to much like hard work. Too much stress and complication involved for it to be worthwhile for me.
Anyway, if you sit down and explain it all to those closest to you, then there's a good chance that they'll respect your situation and call you a man.
After coming out to close friends and family most people were good about using male pronouns, but some just can't seem to get it right no matter what.
I'm sort of like you, but kind of the opposite. I'm something of an apathetic transwoman. I would like to be female and I present as female where possible in the digital world, but I'm really not fussed about being regarded as male in the real world. Transitioning just seems way to much like hard work. Too much stress and complication involved for it to be worthwhile for me.
Anyway, if you sit down and explain it all to those closest to you, then there's a good chance that they'll respect your situation and call you a man.
People treat gender though it's simple and obvious and straightforward, even though it's definitively not. As harmful social fictions go, pretending that the conflation of gender identity, social identity, anatomical configuration, gender presentation, and even sexual orientation is all one all-inclusive binary thing is downright deranged. Works well enough if you're a straight cis femme female or a straight cis masculine male, I suppose, but the rest of us who need more than one word to encompass all these concepts get sort of thrown out in the cold.
I guess mostly what I'm saying is that you're not alone. We all make compromises between who we really are and whom we're expected to be, and it's sometimes hard to figure out where the line is. I self-define as genderqueer for the sake of expedience, but really, do I prefer to be taken for male because that's what I am, or do I prefer to be taken for male because society is fuckin' misogynistic and people treat me better when they think I'm a guy? Could I happily present as female if people weren't assholes?
Since I have to make an effort to be taken conclusively as one or the other, I don't even know.
I guess mostly what I'm saying is that you're not alone. We all make compromises between who we really are and whom we're expected to be, and it's sometimes hard to figure out where the line is. I self-define as genderqueer for the sake of expedience, but really, do I prefer to be taken for male because that's what I am, or do I prefer to be taken for male because society is fuckin' misogynistic and people treat me better when they think I'm a guy? Could I happily present as female if people weren't assholes?
Since I have to make an effort to be taken conclusively as one or the other, I don't even know.
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