I liked it very much. I especially liked the word picture you painted about words sinking to the bottom and tumling along; the imagery was wonderful.

*hugs...

V.

I concur with the Vix. Poetic and vivid, excellent ideas and rich with visuals. Bravo.

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it.

I’ll add my voice to say extremely well done. I read it a second time not because I needed to but to study how well you crafted your words through the story to provide the imagery you intended. Superb.

Aww, thanks! I give credit to a book I'm reading right now: Reading like a Writer by Francine Prose (nice name for someone writing a book about writing).

Very nicely done. :)

Actually quite beautiful. A few metaphores, figures of speech, creating a bit mysterious, even poetic experience. Interesting little story.

Thank you! I was trying to make "Ansuman" beautiful, as the person he is based on is quite ...commanding, I guess would be a good way to put it.

Ouch, what a thing to do to a guy! Come out of the past to salve his guilt- apologizing to make himself feel better? Beautiful he may be, this Ansuman, but cruel and selfish, too... But is that a tinge of actual remorse I hear in his words? He set up so much chaos in your character, but there was that note of "I fucked up, man, and I don't know how to say I'm sorry..." And maybe that's almost enough to redeem him, except that he gets to walk away, comforted that he's done his penance, leaving Hauke to stew in his own juices and remember...

Good stuff, here!

Thanks! I'm glad you had a look. And I guess Ansuman was more sorry than the real life person on whom the character was based. :>

Yeep! Than the real-life guy needs a smack in the head for being a cretin!