"FOR SALE: ONE RABBIT, 5 YEARS OLD, FEMALE, GOOD CONDITION. WOULD SUIT SMALL HOUSE, FLUFFY, AFFECTIONATE, LOW-MAINTENANCE"
Well, I guess that just proved that there was never any truth in advertising.
Now, don't get me wrong, when I went to speak to the woman who was selling the thing, I definitely picked up a rabbit. A cute ball of fluff which immediately started nuzzling my pockets for carrots, or pellets, or... well, pretty much anything.
That should have been my first clue.

I guess it seems pretty weird, a guy like me just randomly buying a bunny, but... I was lonely, my girlfriend had just broken up with me, and I felt like it would help to have some other living creature around the house.
To start with, everything was pretty much normal, then one day I come home from work to find this random woman, lying on the couch, watching TV, wearing one of my shirts, and nothing else. And I mean nothing.
Now, under any other circumstances, you'd think you'd like to be in my shoes, right? A hot, mostly naked chick, lying on your couch and staring at you like you're the most delicious thing she's seen in a long time. And then she starts eating a carrot. I mean, I know carrots are generally pretty phallic, but still, I mean, I'm no Hugh Hefner, but you'd think a guy could get some with a real live bunny girl, right?
Apparently not, she just carried on like I didn't even register. It's kind of humbling when you're less engaging than your carrots and your TV, but hey, what's a guy to do?

So, instead of a pet, I somehow acquired a houseguest, but not the good kind of houseguest - the kind who cleans the place up, or contributes to the rent, or at least leaves your stuff alone. No, dumbass here had to get the kind of houseguest who views every single thing in the place as communal - including your clothes - and who feels no obligation whatsoever because it's not their house - it's yours.
To sweeten the deal even more, I'm free to look... but not touch. I'm pretty sure the arm of the couch gets more action than I do. Wish I knew which god I pissed off in a past life so I could lodge a formal complaint about this...

No matter how much fun they may be to look at in the magazines, always remember: bunny-girls are overrated.

drabble by ShadowHaloedAngel at deviantART
art © princeofthwildthings

I drew this up as an exercise for myself. I want to learn more about lighting and perspective.

Commission information can be found on my profile.