*hugs* I know how you feel dude.

You shouldn't have to.

I hope you feel better though. *hugs*

happens to me constantly ...
I hope that better

It shouldn't have to feel this bad.

Don't be gloomy kid. You're not dying, you have a loving BF, and you're part asian. (seriously, all asians are awesome. All.)

... About that...

No one can ever avoid the choices. Be brave. You will never know if you can handle it or not until you actually doing it and.. You have a BF too.. Be afraid of nothing. For it's you who decide the world not the other way around. Be brave.

Heh heh. I.. uh...

I know what you meant. Sorry about the BF things. I thought you found another.. I should have look at your page but.. Like I said. We are those who decide the world around us *pats back* rather than accepting the choices. Make it yourself. So you can prove it too you have something you can call your own.

Oh...these comments.

One decision leads to another Decision

Ikiru ga muzukashii ne?

If you want someone to talk to send me a note (even if I may be a total no-body). I've been told I'm a good listener.

Sure. It's always nice to have a friend in someone.

"The ART of growing up, is learning how the world works, while finding the way to NOT LET it's disenchantments, bring you down."

Huh? What's that now?

You see, the world is filled with disgusting truths. But nonetheless, truths.
After all, it all happens without asking you for approval.

As your mind is now able to process more facts into itself, you start to SEE the clockwork of everything.
As you can't be fooled as easy as before, some events are not welcome in your mind.
Or are HARD to process (Sink in) because they clash with your former conception of everything.

Suddenly you realize just how the world is drowned in imperfection.

Hmm? Imperfection?

Yes. That which is not OPTIMAL to your expectations. Remark: EXPECTATIONS.
These truths, the ones you didn't know about before. Now slap you in the face.

And yet, the choices are nonetheless imperative. Even if you delay them for a lifetime, it's just a matter of WHEN they'll catch up.

So, what to do about it?
Here's the key:

If you EXPECT.
If you are constantly, negatively affected and "tilted" by the surrounding events that DO NOT MATCH your calculations. You will indeed lose your ability to feel AT EASE, at PEACE.
And eventually lose the ability to smile. That is, f you only focus on the EFFECTS it dumps on you.
After all, it's a common error of the human EGO.
"To feel uniquely unlucky and so unfairly treated"

If you QUIT EXPECTING.
You will find, eventually, clarity and peace to properly PLAN, EXECUTE, and ATTAIN what you desire.
Once you manage to CARE NOT for the AFFRONTS life slams on your face. And embrace the challenge. You'll find a more exciting and rewarding side of life. The pride and power to overcome obstacles and prevail.
"Wisdom to embrace the ugly truths, in order to plan, just how to correct their effects on you"

Now.
I know. THIS, is the hardest thing you can EVER ask a human being to believe.
I know. It sounds like "Just fix it man". And it can look unfair and impossible.

But one day, you'll wake up. Take a nice deep breath. And with a cocky frown and smile, you'll say:
"NOTHING CAN EVER GET ME DOWN AGAIN"

The moment you BELIEVE THAT, is the moment you become IMPERVIOUS to the world's most heartbreaking facts. And you can put a leash on whatever bad thing comes your way, because you will be able to spot it way before it gets to you.

Remember this:

"Aversion to any fact only leads to ignorance about it"
And when you don't know how things work, they take you by surprise and SINK you."
Life will bite you, right in the ass.

Stop expecting, human ego FEEDS depression with discontent.
Start embracing, so you can see through the confusion and witness it's simple clockwork.
And once you know how it all works, grab it by the balls and show life who's the boss.

Good luck friend.

I'm saving this.