-hugs-
don't die ;O;

already there

noooooo //cries eternally

feels like i am anyway sobs

I know that feel
ugh

really stupid feels that i shouldn't be feeling because they're just that stupid basically!

*crappy pixlated lightning strikes the tombstone*

WIIISE FWOM YOUR GWAAVE!

nope

Aw come oooooon, it'll be great, you can shoot fireballs at Hades and everything D:

You can do that in Kid Icarus: Uprising, too~

Whoa, wait, what happened?

dumb personal things

Too personal to talk about?

i made a huge ranty post on tumblr about my recent breakup here http://alpacasovereign.tumblr.com/post/20386654695

it's not too personal i just feel really embarrassed by my actions and i'm not going to make a submission explaining it but yeah there you go!

...Ali... I feel, in many ways, much like that when it comes to someone else, too... I feel your pain, and sympathize with you... It's a horrible feeling, when there's someone you care so much about, but they don't feel even remotely the same for you, and just ignore you when you seek answers, or a way to rekindle a past friendship... It's even worse when you can't get over it... So, yes, Ali, I do feel your pain. Because I have someone like that. She was one of my first major friends on the Internet, and, dare I say, a big part of my childhood... But I started acting obsessively, and I drove her away. I don't know if it was my obsessive behavior or not, but I drove her away, and I may never get her back, no matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I explain that I've changed. I don't mean to make you out as being as bad as I am when it comes to this, but you seemed pretty broken up about it. I'm just trying to, I don't know, maybe reach out to a kindred spirit, I guess...

yeah she's been my friend for more than 7-8 years now and although we've only been together for 3 years it really felt like a long time and that our future was certain. apparently i was the only one who felt that way. i couldn't give her what she wanted, i couldn't be a guy, i couldn't be dominant, i couldn't be seen as someone who she would want to do sexual things with, it was a dead end with me apparently because i'm not even interested in having a sexual relationship although i saw myself in a future with her and that was good enough for me. the worst part is for the past 5 months she's been interested in a guy and basically left me for him which really hurt, i felt betrayed and just...

i was as good a girlfriend i could be, i did everything and was honest and tried to keep us happy and i feel like i failed so miserably, like i must've done something wrong although i've been told i did everything right and i believe that but i still feel something else, like guilt. maybe i was in the wrong for starting a relationship with a straight girl in the first place, and that's where i fucked up, right in the beginning, i should've never bothered. i shouldn't have been so stupid in spoiling her and loving her as much as you could love a person because now it's like this permanent hurt that i can't stop myself from feeling... and now, although those moments with her irl made me the happiest person in the world, i really regret it. because i can't just make those thoughts go away, whenever i think about them i instantly tear up and lose myself in a crying fit. in fact the whole reason why she's avoiding me is because she probably knows i got upset over seeing old posts on tumblr about when i was telling people i was going to visit her and how we were a good couple... and yeah...

i really hope that you're able to heal because you probably know, this is definitely the worst type of feeling someone can experience. i would never wish this amount of emotional and physical pain on ANYONE because it's just that unbearably cruel, no one deserves to be this unhappy and miserable and tortured because they were a good person. and even though you might have been obsessive, i find that as a good quality, because it can be, even if you're over the top; you show you really are crazy about them. there's a fine line between obsessive and possessive, which the former is definitely better and really shows your affection for that other person instead of being insanely jealous over sharing that someone, i'd like to think.

but thank you for asking uvu

Wow, you actually had it much worse than I did. I've only known this person for about 5-6 years (three or so of which we've actually been friends), we weren't in any sort of relationship beyond good friends, and we had never even met (though we had plans to for about...5 minutes before she called it off). There are strange things surrounding this person that really only affect me...if what I'm trying to say is coming out right. Like, for example, she's probably the driving force that got me into My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (not the only force, though), yet she's also the reason I really dislike pony porn. The fact that she draws it, especially the things she draws, kind of kills that part of my childhood. "That part" being that she was once one of my best friends, not My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. ...Anyways, Ali, if I may ask...do you feel any better, talking about it? I hope so...

ahh, i see. well, whether i had it worse or not.. i still think the amount of pain can be the same, honestly, because it's having those emotions you felt for this person to just... be forced to not feel them anymore, you can't express yourself to them like you could in the past, etc...

but, yes, i do feel better, although i learned she just blocked me and removed me from websites again (because i was upset and venting...? alright...) don't really know why because she did it without a word, but... oh well. but thank you again for talking about it with me ;v;

Even though she did that, don't regret having vented your feelings. Whether or not the person who did it to you cares, they need to know how they made you feel. I think I still have yet to tell my person how I feel, though... Oh, and thank you as well, Ali. ...Would you...care to be friends with me?

oh, i don't, but i know i'll regret being so nasty and unappealing about it. but maybe that's how i can get it all out, i dunno...

you definitely should, if not directly, write a vent. it really helps get frustrations out i think uvu and sure, i wouldn't mind that~ although i'm awkward and shy and derpy so 8(;

I don't really feel horribly frustrated about it. But maybe I'll tell her someday... By the way, I don't mind those qualities in you~ I think they're endearing. Would you care to add each other on MSN?

sure, i'm len[at]hotmail.ru uvu

I'm gurgleguy12345@hotmail.com.

you be ok, only being you and that what every one loves right ^-^

yess uvu

D: Aww everyone does that, no worries luv-bug. Hope you feel better soon though.

thank you ;3;

:3 of course~<33

:<

<333333333