SO SMALL

Just like my penis, haha!
No, wait, I did that wrong D:

I 2nd that

I REMEMBER THEM FREEZIES.

That jawbreaker needs to be bigger.

Like this comic.

Oh GOD THOSE SHARP FREEZIES AUGH and now I'm gonna go curl up in a corner and whimper.

Oh dear god these shark fruit snacks are real sharks D8

My diet consists of nothing but candy, this is my life

I enjoy that the large, perfectly spherical candy turns out to be a cluster of pointed corners waiting to destroy you.

Nah, it's just so big you have to suck on it for long, tongue-destroying hours. XD

*nods, solemnly*

Hahahaha, i can totally relate to all this XD

Jumbo Jawbreakers, deadliest candy ever made.

The big freezie's..... I only eat the longer/skinnier ones now. ; n ;

never had jawbreaker as big but DANGIT those sharp edges/corners!

Oh my god I cut my mouth so much with those damn freezies, and fuck Dunkaroos. I also got one of those lunchables things once that had sharp edges. The HECK?

Fuck, I don't know how many times I cut my mouth on those damn things.

Oh HoverDog, you so silly!

the sharp edges of the crackers and cheese were the worse. DX

When I was little I used those sharp ends on freezies to pick gunk out between my teeth.

So true. xD

I've done it all... =[

SO MUCH TRUTH IN THESE PANELS!!!!!

I am being crushed under all the truth!

I relate to all of this.

I was never patient enough to lick the jawbreakers, I just hit them with a sledgehammer and munched on all the delicious pointy shards :P

I remember when I was like.. 6 I had one of those jawbreakers as big as your fist. I licked and licked it... looking back on it, it must have been amazingly unsanitary because I sure didn't eat it all in one sitting.

I left one in my car once - one of those massive jawbreakers sold as a promotional thing for Jurassic Park. Like it was a T-Rex egg or something, I dunno. I put it back in its plastic case and left it overnight.

The next morning the inside of the car was COVERED in ants, and the jawbreaker was a writhing black mass.

I don't even want to think about the invisible buggies those things attract.

thats crazy but REALLY funny

I had one ONCE and I kept it in a ziploc baggie when I wanted to put it aside. I was really proud of myself for finishing it too lol

you ..... finished it?!

And not a thing of value was gained on that day

Yeah, I finished mine too. I love sugar!

just so much ow, mein lips tingle with memories.

Why do they hurt so good!?

Candy burns. Oh god.

Why would Kah be calling for hoverdog's help D:

cuase the punch line demanded it

You would do well in Hollywood.

You know you're an adult when candy and snacks aren't even worth the trouble anymore.

I hate jawbreakers. No candy in the world should require a hammer to eat, and even then it doesn't taste all that good. I mean, it's not bad, it just isn't anything special.

It's all... so... Painfully... True...

All these are relevant facts of life :p

FFFFFF

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Yogurt foil tops should be included in this too. I cut the /shit/ out of the corner of my lip trying to lick one once. u_u'

I have tore my tongue raw from them giant jawbreakers ;3;


Now I like to dip them in water before sucking on them-tasty and helps reduce the tongue death !

doesn't matter if you're mouth's cut when you're a kid. you have so many you can't feel your lips :V

I never tried jumbo freezies or jawbreakers… I’ve wasted my life!

your not missing much

truth.

I gave up on Freezies for pretty much the same reason.
also gave up on my addiction to crybaby tears n' warheads candy when they started making my tongue bleed. =o

Theres a candy called Crybaby tears?

Cry Baby Tears

*raises hand* I ate an entire back of War heads at once once and everything tasted like rubber for a week

OH god this was so hilarious and true. I thought I was the only one cutting the sides of my mouth on freezer pops. I'm not alone!

All of these, and plastic spoons. Especially Dairy Queen's plastic spoons.

You forgot captain crunch cutting the roof of your mouth!

OH GOD YES

And the crisco coating it leaves all over your teeth and cheeks, ugh

The only thing I know aboot crisco is that gay dudes use it in their butts

XD LUHMAO!

Lies! Vicious lies and slander!

The banes of my existence

Hey man, that's not funny. My brother died that way. :C

Jumbo freezie is my childhood. It first time me happened hurt my lips. Later I learned how careful. :D

I know of every single danger which you speak :(

fuck dunkaroo shanks forever. ow ow ow ow.

DON'T DISS THE HANDISNACKS BRO

All of this. Why no class action lawsuits over sliced mouths?!

This is cause kids and parents weren't whiny bitches like they are now.
Getting hurt was a learning process.

I usually just crunch up jawbreakers, and pushed the freezies thru, never touching the plastic to my mouth.

Yeah.....omg I am so old so yeahhhhh. lol

Haha, oh awesome... I can relate to all 4 of these incedents. Freezies Sliced Mouth Corners, Sharp Dunkaroo containers, Jawbreaker Raw Tongue, and tongue getting stuck on Fudgesicles. XD Welcome back to horrific childhood memories.

I laughed like Peter Griffin.

I always made sure to cut those corners off so I dont end up slicing my face open

oh fuck yes i remember those bloody freezies giving me pacman face all too well @>@

Those icee things are dangerous forsho. Ugh. I've cut my lips on them just like that. I didn't have anyone to quote batman at me though... >: *forever alone*

AS a kid, I'd get those huge ass jawbreakers. I'd mast my mom get me two. I'd smash one with a hammer so I could eat individual pieces, and the second one, I'd lick... And lick.... and lick...
But the otter/freezie pops, I never cut myself on. Most of the time, I put them in cups and mashed 'em up.

I did this once, but with a plastic spoon. "Why are there red streaks in my Frosty?"

ugh.... that,s disturbing

Didn't get that serious, but I've still got visible splits in my cheeks from those delicious basterds.

I was such a poor fat german child :(
Never was able to enjoy the dangerous amercian Candys! Q.Q

Oh god, freezepops, why you so so cruel, but so-so dericious!!! And those 90's dunker snack things. I don't remember their names because we never had them around the house. XD I just remember they had commercials with something to do with a kangaroo... or something. Hoverdog had the right idea I think.

I had a lollipop a short while ago. I bit into it after sucking on it for a while. So much cutting in my gums. ;~;

Let's not forget about Jolly Ranchers! Those fuckers HATE your mouth in every way possible! Can't even bite 'em because they don't crack like other hard candies..they just sort of..mold to your teeth.. And then you're fucked. Trying to open your mouth when one's stuck between your teeth is a great way to lose a filling, crown, or tooth.

Once had a Lemonhead that had too much sour stuff on it (ascorbic acid) that it gave me a chemical burn on my tongue. Spat the fucker out along with a few square inches of sluffed off tongue flesh..mouth was fucked up for weeks. Was like having a canker sore over a quarter of my tongue.

And don't even get me started about popcorn..I'm on to you Orville Redenbacher!

jesus...

uhg I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS TO MY TONGUE >:(

yes! screw you evil freezie pop makers!

those Lunchables meat-discs can be pretty sharp if you chuck 'em hard enough

we found them for sale at the local nofrills for $0.50 each.... got about 25 and omg there addictive. I dot know what chemicals they use to keep it form rotting but Im hooked

wow, that's prooobbbably not healthy.

though on the plus side, you've got a whole bunch of slammers in case of an emergency Pog tournament!

haha ahh I wish I was old enough to remember what I id with my Pogs

I went to a restaurant a couple months ago. Can't remember the name, but they had a whole WALL covered in pogs. It was glorious and it make me feel like I was five again.

oh I know all too well what you are talkin' aboot! XD

I've done every single one of those at some point or another. D:

I'm glad I'm not the only one

DUDE YES.

Anytime I have those freezer things I just put it in a cup and eat it or else I will always cut myself. ;_;

omg yes i do

lol in fucking deed! all of it has happened to me before :P >_<

Why is it that the lemon flavored fruity snacks are always as hard as stale circus peanuts?

Squeee dunk-a-roos! Also I cut the sides of my mouth on those damn freezey pops all the time, fortunately it was cold and not made of lemeon juice... except that one time >.>

haha those things get you

usually id give it to someone else

Food-tarded?

yes... I am not allone that totally destroyed their tongue on one of those jawbrakers XD

And yeah, the damn mr.freeze sharp sides...

God I never had a giant jawbreaker, but I did used to suck on smaller ones ALL THE TIME.
I have holes in both of my cheeks where they used to sit, the sugar just flat out dissolved them o.e