Information regarding the (Extoked) Church of the Weedlorn:

The Church of the Weedlorn is an international underground religion based around the "Smoken Coming" of the Weedlorn; who is a god-like figure who will bring a "Green Paradise" to the earth. The group is known for its almost obsessive use of Marijuana and all other Hemp products; surprisingly, they frown upon most other recreational drugs (aside from alcohol and caffiene). They are described as being a "very chill people who wish for good times and happy days" by supporters.

Mythology:

Weedites are told that there will be a return of the Weedlorn at some unknown point in the future, said to be a dying world where the holy herb is almost depleted and the "Oppressors" have raped and pillaged the land.

There will then be two promised ones who will meet:

The Weedlord; one who is born of Oppressor nature, and will be raised in the art of ruining good times for all good rastas. After a life-changing experience, he will learn of the Divine Green and forsake his previous life and journey to the original Temple of the Weedlorn.

And the Weedborn; a young child who will be found by peasants wandering in a ganja farm. The young child will learn to be good to her fellow rasta and grow the dankest kush known to man. Eventually, her guardians will be killed by the Oppressors and she will need to flee to the Temple herself.

There, the two will meet and conceive the next Weedlorn. This child will be the incarnation of good times and happy days, and will bring a “Green Paradise” to the forsaken lands.

Creed:

The church has a number of rules that it abides by, and these are to be followed by all Weedites of all orders.

1. Never, EVER snitch.
2. Be kind to all Rasta, even when they are unreasonable.
3. Don’t hog the bong.
4. Do not steal fellow Rasta’s belongings, especially their stash.
5. Brothers before whores.
6. Believe that the Weedlorn himself will lead us to the Green Paradise, and none other.
7. Respect the holy holiday of April 20th.
8. Have respect for those that have perished in the fight for Green Freedom.
9. Try not to get too toked, if possible.
10. NO Babyshow Nerds allowed, at all, ever.

Initiation:

For those who are born into a Weedite household, a child is given a cleansing from the nearest temple’s Holy Bong Water, which promises good times for life, while also giving the young weedling the dank protection of the Weedlorn himself. After the child reaches the age of 4, he or she will perform the Abluntition, where they must toke from the Holy Bong. This recognizes them as a true weedite and initiate into the church.

For those who wish to join the Church of the Weedlorn later in life, they may ask a local Weedite Chapel for admittance, and after passing a set of rigorous tests (such as holding in smoke for a whole minute and identifying different types of pot), can then enter religious training and learn the ways of the Weedite.

Hierarchy:

Weedlads/lasses: Young Weedites from birth to the age of 20. Participate in many church activities and games (such as the ever popular Hashy Sack), and learn from more experienced clergy. Weedlads and lasses are given “kind buds” for good behavior and for following church practices closely. More progressive groups have started using the catch-all term “Weedlings” to refer to both sexes, but it’s really a matter of preference.

Weedlies: Weedites from the ages of 20 to 55. They are the most numerous out of the hierarchy, as this group includes the main attendees and practitioners of the church. At this point, a Weedly may enter a Abbey of Ganja (or Ganjastery, depending on the area) to become a Weedite Monk, or “Crunk”.

Crunks: Weedite scholars that live on church grounds. They read and study the ancient dank texts, and work ever diligently to decipher the ancient “Propheweed”; the prophecy the first weedlorn on Earth gave to the future Rastas. Extremely dedicated crunks have even taken up the feared “Vow of Abstinence”, where they give up their weekly pot allowance to help the rasta in need.

Ganjots: A higher-ranking weedite that watches over the studies of a crunk or younger weedlads and lasses. They engage in various debates over the districts they have control over, and the position, while powerful, can be extremely stressful. Thankfully, Ganjots have an “ever-growing” amount of green at their disposal.

Bluntshops: A learned Weedite leader who leads the clergy of Weedlings and Weedlies under the teachings of the Dank Toketament, and for the more dedicated Weedites, the so-far translated pieces of the Propheweed. They are also most likely to give sermons in the chapels of the Weedlorn.

Kushraiders: A dedicated group of Weedites who fight for what they refer to as “Green Freedom”. Despite their somewhat fanatical approach, they are primarily a pacifist group, preferring to settle things over a joint if at all possible. However, they are not opposed to taking more extreme measures should the need arise, such as “Skrilling”, where-in a Snitch or N.W.F. is forced to listen to obnoxious bass drops for hours on end.

Hemplars: Another somewhat fanatical faction of the church, this one is more secular than the Kushraiders. While they were once endorsed officially by the Holy Green State itself back in ancient times, their practices are now seen as “old-fashioned”, one of them being their initiation ceremony. The ceremony required a new recruit to be strung up by rope over a pit of thorny vines for an entire week. The only nourishment they could get was by eating the vines themselves. This was to show absolute trust in the cause. While most of them were either forced to waste their weed stash at the stake, or be skrilled to death, there are a few remaining today that still continue the practices of old.

Ganjacolyte: A weedite scholar who has dedicated his life not to studies, but to preaching the Divine Green to those who have not been blessed by the Weedlorn’s ever dank smoke. They also take part in helping charitable organizations that agree with the Weedite creed.

High Wackolyte: A ganjacolyte who has proven himself invaluable to the Weedite cause, either by preforming a “Far Out” action, or to crafting an effigy of the Weedlorn himself into a physical form.

The Dope: The current leader of the Church of the Weedlorn. A new dope is appointed whenever the previous dope dies or resigns from the position. When a new Dope is needed, 420 candidates are gathered from around the world (chosen from high-ranking Weedites), and are to smoke an extremely delightful bud known as “The Dreads of God”. Whoever of the 420 has the most meaningful high out of all of them is then appointed the next Dope.

Buds: Those who have died for the Weedite cause, they are martyrs who are revered for their bravery and valor, along with being an all-around chill person.

Enemies of the Church:

Snitch: The devil figure of the church, he is a wicked, crooked man who seeks only to ruin good times for all, as he is the embodiment of betrayal and greed. Most weedites believe that Snitch has more power on Earth as he manipulates the evil that lies inside all men. Followers of Snitch are commonly called Snitches, Snitchlers, or “Sons of a Snitch”. Weedites are warned to always keep their weed in a safe place, lest the Snitch come and steal it away.

The N.W.F. : The National Welfare Foundry is a group that was formed in the Prohibition era of the United States, not only to steal marijuana from hard-working Americans, but also banned and later poisoned alcohol. Despite Prohibition ending, some fanatical members of the group keep the Foundry running, infiltrating governments and communities to spread anti-weed propaganda. They are sometimes referred to as the “Nasty Weed Flayers”, “Nefarious Wasteful Fools”, or most commonly, the “No-Weed Faggots”.

The Oppressors: Another nefarious group, they are believed to be born out of ignorance and foul times. They are ever-dedicated in their quest to keep the rasta down and steal his holy herb. What distinguishes them from the NWF is that they do not belong to any specific organization; literally every man, woman, or child who wishes to wipe weed from the lands is considered an Oppressor in some way. However, most Weedites believe that if they are kind buds to the Oppressors, they may teach them the error of their ways. There also exist “High Oppressors”, who cannot be persuaded and must unfortunately live a life without good times.

The Whore of Babylon: A recent addition to the church shitlist, the "Whore of Babylon" has been snitching on weedite covens and being an all-around awful human being. She is known for being a stocky potatowoman and manipulates the hearts of the ignorant to do her bidding.

The Church Today:

Today the church resides in small but hopeful groups that seek to once again allow the good green to grow all over the world, so that everyone may have good times for all. Even if they choose not to smoke the good herb, they seek for everyone to be chill around all persons and be free of conflict. But as long as the Oppressors control the lives of others, they will have to live within the shadows of society.