Kind of cliché, characterization amongst the fantasy.

Spend time working out the world and fleshing out the characters to escape common convention and clichés.

The prologue needs a lot of work, as a beginning it needs to grasp the audiences attention. More description is needed to shape the scene and characters to life, via showing instead of reflectively telling.



This needs a better name. Vault of The Endless Darks


As you write you need to ask yourself why does the audience care? How does the audience relate, why do these elements matter, what over all rhetorical purpose am I achieving

As So Furry is concerned that is up to your ethical approach as an individual and a writer.

To your point of cliche' I was worried about that happening. Fantasy is a touchy subject.

Definately does need more work.

I have never really done a prologue before so i understand what you mean.

The name is expiremental, that isnt a bad title the thing is that the story isnt going to stay in that cave for very long.

The rest i appreciate, very good advice i accept and will use.

By "from a dream", do you mean this is, at least part of your dream that you could remember? I have a story like that, but it's not going very well...

Indeed, I like to reminisce about my dreams and this particular one was very interesting so i formatted it into a story. If you need help with yours just ask.

Cool, I'll send you a transcript sometime and my dad's an author he just hasn't published yet.