Mike "The-Cool-Pony" : is the assumed leader of the group and does not involve himself in the battles between the other three. He makes puns, which are either deliberately cheap or humorous but over-celebrated.

He frequently utters confusing, profound-sounding phrases which baffle the others Mike is supposedly the 'ladies' colt' and often brags of his prowess with mares, although he is shown to share his bed with an inflatable Sex doll and almost admitted his virginity to the others. He makes every attempt at wooing the opposite sex, being both forward and unsuccessful. During however he has an encounter with Vyv's mother, where, until a comment made by Rick, he makes progress—although her direct approach initially worries Mike.

Rick The pony's Poet: Rick is a self-proclaimed anarchist who is studying sociology and/or domestic sciences Rick writes bad poetry, and styles himself as the "The pony's Poet", believing himself to be the "spokespony for a generation"

Vyvyan Basterd : Vyvyan is a psychopathic punk medical student. He has orange-dyed & spiked hair and four metal stars seemingly embedded into his forehead. he drinks a pint of blue liquid which makes his hair fall out and the number 666 is visible on the side of his head. He is extremely violent and regularly attacks Neil and Rick with pieces of wood, cricket bats and other large objects. For some reason he looks up to Mike, whom he never attacks and often addresses as "Michael". He despises Rick more than he does Neil; for example when Rick, Mike and Neil meet his mother at a bar, he calls both Neil and Mike his friends, but refers to Rick as "a complete bastard." Ironically, this antagonistic relationship between Rick and Vyvyan makes them virtually inseparable, as the two spend by far more time together than with the other housemates. Unlike Neil and Rick, Vyvyan appears to come from a working class background.

Neil Wheedon Watkins Pye: Neil Pye, the hippie, is a clinically depressed, pacifist, vegetarian and environmentalist working toward a Peace Studies degree. He is victimised by other housemates and forced to do the housework, shopping, cleaning and cooking. He is never acknowledged for it unless it goes wrong. He normally provides tea to drink and cornflakes or lentils for his housemates to eat.

Neil is a pessimist and believes everypony and everything hates him, although he does have three hippie friends—one also named Neil, one named Warlock and a female hippie named Stonehenge.This actually makes him the second most sociable character behind Vyvyan and also the only character to have a female friend. He dislikes most forms of technology except for televisions and video recorders. He is also an insomniac, believing that sleep causes cancer, yet Neil has been shown to be asleep on at least a couple of occasions.