Well, apart from the site not understanding half of the symbols, this piece is not bad. It's a bit choppy in places, but nothing that can't be fixed.

You seemed so loathe to write, yet I see nothing wrong with this, other than a few things here and there. You should keep writing, and disregard what anyone thinks—write for /you/ or your friends, because that's what makes writing worth it.

Have a goon one!

Very Respectfully,

Vesper

Yeah sorry.. usually when I write I don't get to just work on in at one time. I'm always interupted by something so I have to take time away from it and when I come back I'm not entirely sure what I was going to do with it. :/ kind of make a lousey writer, but thanks..

Then at each stopping point write where your thoughts are so you'll remember later. It doesn't make you a lousy writer at all; I get interrupted and distracted all the time when writing, but I use the aforementioned technique to help me remember. I'd be in the same boat without it.

Have more faith in yourself. ^_^

Very Respectfully,

Vesper