I don;t have time to finish this at the moment, but I hope to later. But I did skip to the middle (sorry! I'm a horrible spoiler for myself >_<) and as soon as I saw the twist on the mob boss shooting the hired muscle scene, I kept reading from there. I need to go back and read the first half later. From what I've read, it looks very good, and worth a fave. I like your dialogue as well, and description. ^_^