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PLEASE GO TO THE ORIGINAL SUBMISSION HERE TO +FAVORITE AND COMMENT!!!!PLEASE GO TO THE ORIGINAL SUBMISSION HERE TO +FAVORITE AND COMMENT!!!!PLEASE GO TO THE ORIGINAL SUBMISSION HERE TO +FAVORITE AND COMMENT!!!!PLEASE GO TO THE ORIGINAL SUBMISSION HERE TO +FAVORITE AND COMMENT!!!!PLEASE GO TO THE ORIGINAL SUBMISSION HERE TO +FAVORITE AND COMMENT!!!!PLEASE GO TO THE ORIGINAL SUBMISSION HERE TO +FAVORITE AND COMMENT!!!!"Give me your paw! Come on, reach, reach!"For recent tragic events in the fandom, but most importantly for every living sentient creature in the world.
You ARE wanted, you are loved and needed. There's secret someones falling silly for you, people who depend on you simply to be beside them, people who can live because they can go run to you, someone who's been planning for months to spend their one day off this year to call you and go out for a movie. Yeah, things get savagely gritty grim and desperate, but that's the human condition. Life sure isn't fair, but your people in life are the equalizer of that. It's okay to cry, to feel embarrassed to ask, anything is okay EXCEPT GIVING IN. Cry, fall on your knees, be dirty in the filth, but keep reaching. I've been there, though I never talked about it to most any fur. I've wanted to give in, to give into lies and thoughts that don't care to do anything but destroy you. They're LIES, and YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR THOUGHTS AND CIRCUMSTANCES. Grind, minute by minute, wipe your bloody nose, and reach. Give anyone your hand, I assure you someone will reach. Pray. God will reach, honest, when you think no one's there. Try anything, but try. Don't be surprised when the best thing that you'll ever feel is another cold grimy hand just like yours. Cold wet and miserable, but full of hope and understanding. If you want, give me your hand. *reaches* Yeah, it's muddy and raw and trembling from exhaustion, just like yours. But damn if ain't the best grip you'll ever get to share.
Some more thoughts on this, worth a look: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/.....88457/[/quote]
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Canine (Other)
Size 720 x 540px
File Size 202.8 kB
Pretty sure this is indirectly related to 
gizgiz . If not, I still like to think of the shep as being him. It was drawn just 10 days after his death. Unfortuntely, nobody was there to help him :(
gizgiz . If not, I still like to think of the shep as being him. It was drawn just 10 days after his death. Unfortuntely, nobody was there to help him :(
I had no idea about any of that. I did not know him, and it said nothing about it on the original submission, except saying his name in the tags... ='c That's horrible.
If hosting this causes any problems for anyone close to him I would be more than willing to take it down, but it is precisely that kind of situation (people in need or crisis having no one to turn to) that this group exists to prevent.
~Iwyim, Head Mod
If hosting this causes any problems for anyone close to him I would be more than willing to take it down, but it is precisely that kind of situation (people in need or crisis having no one to turn to) that this group exists to prevent.
~Iwyim, Head Mod
Yeah. His first attempt was at a cliff much like this, and he got arrested by the police/rescue team...then his final time he tried by car. August 28, 2011. I will never forget that terrible day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am5kUsHUTA0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am5kUsHUTA0
My heart goes out to you, his family, and other friends who've lost what looks like a great person. It pains me so badly to hear about this happening. This does not need to happen! We need to be here for each other, so that this does not keep happening. So none of us has to lose a life, or a friend, or family member again.
Nobody even knew really that he was struggling, his art was considered vent art really.. but he really didn't show many signs of what he was going through.. and he never wrote a full good-bye journal, all he said was something came up and he was going to write his thoughts and feelings and why.. but in the end he never did, a lot of his good friends even pointed out the fact, he was down but they did not see it as a big issue just minor depression.. he was hiding it... and I'm also sure that this piece is related to gizgiz.. but yeah.. nobody was 'there to help him' because nobody knew.. he showed NO signs at all :/ just small depression... everyone gets depressed, everyone uploads vent art.. that's why it went under the radar.. nobody knew...
He did write a goodbyb journal....but once Lulz.net got ahold of it, FA admins deleted the journal.
Here's a direct copy of his original journal:
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
I actually dont like fish, i just wanted to use that quote.
So yeah, this journal is nothing like the one i thought of writing, because my plans got aborted. Was gonna write a somewhat long one about my thoughts and why and stuff, but.. oh well.
So just gonna say that this account is now dead, as am I*.
Thanks to everyone for their support over the years I've spent on here, thanks to all the watchers and comments and favs. Thanks to all the friends I've made over the years, I'm sorry to leave like this, most of you never saw it coming. (dont feel bad, didn't show any signs anyways)
Ciao!
*In a few hours at least
The whole line about "plans got aborted" was from his first suicide attempt, that failed when his family found his suicide note too soon. He was originally going to jump from a cliff (Kjerag Mountain, Norway) during the family vacation. However, he was interrupted in his tent by the police rescue helicopter. He fought off the police until they restrained him and he went to a mental hospital where he fooled the polygraph as well as the people around him, and he was sent home. Then about a week later, try #2 occurred. He was just tired of putting on a false face and lying to everyone about his true feelings for all these years. And nobody to talk to, because most friends don't like to hang out with someone who is just whiny and miserable all the time, hence the "Oh, I'm doing real good!" face, when you really are not doing good, but don;t want to talk about it.
PS: This all came from his full few-paragraph suicide description on a Grand Theft Auto modding forum that he was well-known on. The vent art was just randomly posted about a few months before his death with just simple one liner descriptions (Such as: "don't argue with a man with a bat". Possibly a reference to him being beaten down by the police, in my interpretation.)
Here's a direct copy of his original journal:
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
I actually dont like fish, i just wanted to use that quote.
So yeah, this journal is nothing like the one i thought of writing, because my plans got aborted. Was gonna write a somewhat long one about my thoughts and why and stuff, but.. oh well.
So just gonna say that this account is now dead, as am I*.
Thanks to everyone for their support over the years I've spent on here, thanks to all the watchers and comments and favs. Thanks to all the friends I've made over the years, I'm sorry to leave like this, most of you never saw it coming. (dont feel bad, didn't show any signs anyways)
Ciao!
*In a few hours at least
The whole line about "plans got aborted" was from his first suicide attempt, that failed when his family found his suicide note too soon. He was originally going to jump from a cliff (Kjerag Mountain, Norway) during the family vacation. However, he was interrupted in his tent by the police rescue helicopter. He fought off the police until they restrained him and he went to a mental hospital where he fooled the polygraph as well as the people around him, and he was sent home. Then about a week later, try #2 occurred. He was just tired of putting on a false face and lying to everyone about his true feelings for all these years. And nobody to talk to, because most friends don't like to hang out with someone who is just whiny and miserable all the time, hence the "Oh, I'm doing real good!" face, when you really are not doing good, but don;t want to talk about it.
PS: This all came from his full few-paragraph suicide description on a Grand Theft Auto modding forum that he was well-known on. The vent art was just randomly posted about a few months before his death with just simple one liner descriptions (Such as: "don't argue with a man with a bat". Possibly a reference to him being beaten down by the police, in my interpretation.)
That's not really a 'goodbye and why' journal... it's a goodbye.. he never said WHY and there were no signs as to why, his first suicide tempt was not made fully public/known until the fact he was going to kill himself again... I already knew about his 'so long and thanks for all the fish' journal it was originally deleted by admins. There were no REAL signs until it was too late..yes the art was a sign, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, you can't say for sure that was an official sign he was infact going to KILL himself, it was a cry for help yes, but if I were to post similar but not kill myself months later it'd just be 'she was in pain' that's all.. he NEVER let anyone in on the extent of his pain... as he stated he was going to write about his feelings and WHY because nobody knows WHY to this day, all anybody knows is that he was going through some hard times and decided to end it... he was GOING to write why but when his plans got aborted he decided not to.. he decided to kill himself without saying why. As far as any real vivid signs go there weren't any real ones.. to be honest, yes people could see he was hurt but NOBODY COULD SEE HOW HURT and if they saw he was hurt.. nobody could even of saved him because nobody knew the extent.....the whole GTA thing people fuck around with stuff like that all the time ((the youtube video he did were he crashed a car off a bridge or w/e)) but any which way...
There were no real signs just to how bad everything was, he just showed he was hurt/depressed... EVERYONE gets hurt/depressed... Nobody knew about his suicide attempt, the first one until his death when he made that post 'maybe you will read about it in tomarrows paper' he was GOING to say why.. but he never did. There was no real good-bye journal, he even said So yeah, this journal is nothing like the one i thought of writing, because my plans got aborted. Was gonna write a somewhat long one about my thoughts and why and stuff, but.. oh well. which insinuates he was going to write a real official good-bye and say WHY but because his first attempt got aborted he did not.. which is why when he was explaining his first attempt and made the comment he was setting up for the night at the mountains he was later found/caught, he was PROBABLY going to write it before he actually jumped.. I don't know.. but you can honestly say there were signs of pain and depression but there were NO real signs as to of how bad it really was playing out to be...that's what I'm getting at... if only SOMEBODY knew but that's just it, nobody knew because nobody could know because there were no real signs him actually going to kill himself, the picture where his fursona was about to jump off a cliff was as close as a sign got but can you honestly say you saw his suicide coming because he was struggling for months, weeks, years, because he made the signs very vivid.. because a lot of people his friends for years could not see it.. he was a happy person with some ups and downs... he had his downs then one day ENDED IT, there were no signs just to as how bad he was truly feeling inside... because he was always pretty happy...
There were no real signs just to how bad everything was, he just showed he was hurt/depressed... EVERYONE gets hurt/depressed... Nobody knew about his suicide attempt, the first one until his death when he made that post 'maybe you will read about it in tomarrows paper' he was GOING to say why.. but he never did. There was no real good-bye journal, he even said So yeah, this journal is nothing like the one i thought of writing, because my plans got aborted. Was gonna write a somewhat long one about my thoughts and why and stuff, but.. oh well. which insinuates he was going to write a real official good-bye and say WHY but because his first attempt got aborted he did not.. which is why when he was explaining his first attempt and made the comment he was setting up for the night at the mountains he was later found/caught, he was PROBABLY going to write it before he actually jumped.. I don't know.. but you can honestly say there were signs of pain and depression but there were NO real signs as to of how bad it really was playing out to be...that's what I'm getting at... if only SOMEBODY knew but that's just it, nobody knew because nobody could know because there were no real signs him actually going to kill himself, the picture where his fursona was about to jump off a cliff was as close as a sign got but can you honestly say you saw his suicide coming because he was struggling for months, weeks, years, because he made the signs very vivid.. because a lot of people his friends for years could not see it.. he was a happy person with some ups and downs... he had his downs then one day ENDED IT, there were no signs just to as how bad he was truly feeling inside... because he was always pretty happy...
The truth is, there are some people who actually are alone. There's nobody that falls for them, nobody depending on them to stay beside them, nobody to watch movies with. Instead, they have these things, but everyone wears a mask. They feel even lonelier with others, because it's such a harsh reminder of what they don't have, and might never have. Someone who never forms any connection, or maybe wakes up to realize all his connections are false.
This kind of person must find solace in himself, because he may never find solace in others: he only finds despair and hatred. The only chance at connecting with others is connecting with yourself, I believe.
Wanting that which you cannot have is a sure way to poison yourself. Recognizing your limits on all fronts is important.
This kind of person must find solace in himself, because he may never find solace in others: he only finds despair and hatred. The only chance at connecting with others is connecting with yourself, I believe.
Wanting that which you cannot have is a sure way to poison yourself. Recognizing your limits on all fronts is important.
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