Article by Adrian “Knux” Dorey.


The date was March 4th, 2012. The opponent, the Stanislaus Thrust.

Two events of relative significance happened on this day for the Sand Dollars organization. One was the 104-87 victory for the Dollars against then-division-rival Stanislaus Thrust (who have since packed up for San Jose. In more off-season shifting, the Sand Dollars have settled into a new Midwest Division, with the likes of the Clefs, Bikers and Voyageurs).

The second, and certainly the most bewildering, is this was the last game we saw swingfur Sharon Sawchuk (Cougar, G/F) suit up for her club in the 2011-12 season.

And up to this point (or until very recently), no one other than a few close confidants have any clue as to why.

If I could stray a bit off-topic for a second (don’t worry, I won’t leave the yard), this offseason has seen a level of drama that is quite surprising coming from the typically low profile Sand Dollars. Instead of splashy free agent moves or intriguing trades, it’s been the Summer of Conspiracy. Some may even call it the “Summer of Catspiracy” (patent-pending, don’t steal!).

Indeed many of the team’s ongoing storylines from the post-season and beyond have centered around the surplus of felines the team possesses (as is usually the case). First there were the public allegations of specism running throughout the team’s inner framework, involving all aspects of management from the owner Greg Moody (harbor seal) to the General Manager John “Cotton” Saltzer (white longhair cat) to the Head Coach Owen “Inky” Michaels (black cat).

These allegations have spurred a media frenzy and a public interest peak from fans and observers outside the team’s circles. Personally, (and as an employee of the Sand Dollars, I tread very lightly when I say this), I’m not fully convinced yet that some form of species-based decision-making has not taken place at times within this organization, despite GM Saltzer’s cries to the contrary (although his “of course it’s not specism” argument does sound pretty convincing).

The truth is, we may never know the truth. Fans will have what they believe, so will detractors, and so will I. But the circus caused by that little “birdie” who started the rumors isn’t going away any time soon. The fact that the league is going to be initiating a species limit on all FBA teams this year (partly due to, as many believe, the aforementioned allegations surrounding our club and the damage that could do to the league as a whole) does nothing to help dissolve the drama centered around specism in team management.

So now we know the team is going to have to let go of a few cats to get under the new limit; four cats to be exact (the team finished the season with 9 felines on the roster). The process has already begun in fact, although probably not the way Galveston fans would have preferred.

As if the public relations disasters and desperate efforts to save face weren’t bad enough, the Beach Bucks are also losing their elite MVP-candidate point guard, JTigerclaw (Tiger, G) for, as the team puts it, “personal reasons”. In fact, JT is not only leaving the team, but leaving the entire league in general. The “Tiny Tiger” (that is the last time I will ever get to use that nickname...) also leaves behind one of the shortest lasting legacies the FBA has ever seen, and a million fervent questions of “Why?”

“Why would he leave his hometown team?”

“Why would he leave on the second year of a brand new ($98mil/7yr) contract?”

“Why would he leave after finishing 3rd in MVP voting and reaching the Western Conference Finals?” (a feat not likely to be repeated now)

And most prominently, “Why would he leave the ENTIRE LEAGUE when he had such a promising career of stardom ahead of him?”

Nobody, aside from JT himself, knows the answers to those questions. Or at least no one is talking. Perhaps later, in due time, we will find out. There are, after all, many similar mysteries taking place all over the FBA currently. Most fans and media are trying to get ahold of their spinning heads as the dust settles on one of the strangest and most landscape-changing FBA offseasons we’ve ever witnessed.

And somewhere, lost among those questions of league-wide importance, are the answers to the whereabouts of a first-year, former D-League MVP whose disappearance happened as quickly as her sudden emergence in a supportive bench role for a team desperately in need of her versatility and strength.

Yes, this is where we get back on the original topic (I do have a tendency to digress, but in my defense, it’s easy to get distracted when there’s so many headlines).

Ever since that game against the Thrust on March 4th, 2012, Sharon Sawchuk has been either missing from sight completely (like the first two weeks following that game) or on the sidelines in a suit/blazer/skirt combo.

The Chukwagon (as she’s affectionately dubbed amongst her teammates and fans) isn’t one to garner much attention from the media, but even still, many were curious as to the cause of her sudden DNPs. It wasn’t her quality of play, as Sawchuk was becoming one of the more consistent bench producers on the team. And usually, teams will admit if an injury occurs, as there’s no reason to hide something that happens all the time in sports.

For some reason, the team had been keeping this hush-hush, and the media (curious little buggers that we are) wanted to know why.

Well, Sharon Sawchuk is still deactivated from the team’s training camp activities, but she was present at practice this week. Also, she wasn’t wearing a bulky suit jacket this time. Instead, she had on a practice t-shirt with the team name on it. And she was looking a little... rounder than usual.

That’s because Sharon Sawchuk is 6 months pregnant.

First off, I have to offer my sincerest congratulations right now to the mother-to-be. It was wonderful, albeit rather surprising, to learn that Sharon was carrying her own little bundle of joy under her shirt (and not a basketball). However, as great as the news was, learning the answer to our original questions only led to more questions, namely why would this be cause for the ‘Mysterious Cloak of Mystery?’ What reason would there be to hide it?

It was becoming a disturbing trend within the organization that anything and everything was being treated as a big secret that would ruin the lives of hundreds if the information were to be made public. Between the management keeping mum on their motivations to build the team around mostly felines, to the sudden departure of one of the league’s best point guards, to even positive news such as a player expecting a child, it has caused those on the outside looking in to do so through squinted eyes.

But perhaps it’s not entirely management’s fault. Sharon herself wouldn’t really go into any depth either. When asked who the father was (since Sharon isn’t currently in a relationship... unless that’s a secret too), the cougar deflected eye-contact and dodged the question. Or she’d say something like “Someone very special.” Touching, but far too vague for our tastes.

Not too long after that point, the Sand Dollars practice facility is an episode of “As The World Turns,” as everyone starts trying to piece together who the Baby Daddy is. Media members began treating it like 20 Questions, trying to determine who the father could be without seeming excessively rude or nosy (or without pissing off their interviewee, a daunting task to be sure).

Things really started to get juicy when a reporter asked if the father was somebody on the team. Sawchuk didn’t deny the possibility, instead getting flustered and suggesting that we “ask around” if we want to know so bad.

If it was an attempt to deflect attention elsewhere it didn’t work, because now every member of local media suspects Sharon Sawchuk either had a locker room fling with another member of the Sand Dollars, or she has been dating one of her teammates in secret (with “dating” being the more family friendly way to describe it).

Either way, the new development has turned local sports pages and team blogs into a tabloids-style celebrity spotlight, and I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what the Sand Dollars’ management did NOT want. Unless they are just happy we aren’t asking them questions about the more important stuff like specism (for now at least).

Perhaps when the new cub is born, we will have our answer (if it comes out with stripes, for instance... or scales). But maybe we won’t. And even then, we really won’t know for sure until she tells us. Until then, rampant speculation will be the order of the day.

“Did Sharon Sawchuk get hot and heavy with Mike Lee (Puma, F) after the Howler’s game?” (pumas and cougars are basically the same, so it would make sense genetically)

“Is JTigerclaw leaving the league somehow related to being romantically involved with Sawchuk? Or maybe related to the heartbreak at who was?”

“Did Sawchuk throw us all for a loop and dip her toe into the cold-blooded side of the genus pool?” (what’s up Nathan Robinson! [F/C, Sidewinder])

“Surely it wasn’t a player on an opposing team... was it?”

Maybe Sharon Sawchuk is actually just quietly dating outside the team, keeping quiet only for privacy reasons and not out of shame. If so, now would be a great time to spill the beans, since there really is nothing to hide and we all know it has to be someone. Of course, the extra attention could somehow be the desired effect. At this point, no one really knows.

Welcome to “As the Sand Dollar Turns”.

The cub is on schedule for a mid-October birth, so even with a couple weeks of rest afterwards, Sharon could potentially be ready in time for the season tip-off. Of course she may not be in game shape yet (I don’t think being shelved for 9 months and then pushing another living being out of you is something you can just pop right back from).

Also of note, Sawchuk may not be a Sand Dollar when the season starts either. She was essentially rented from the D-League for a standard 1 year minimum contract, which is now expired. So she’s a free agent, and it’s anyone’s guess what her market value may be.

The Sand Dollars’ ability to retain her will depend heavily on whether or not Tiggie’s contract is to be wiped from the salary cap with an official retirement announcement. If so, Galveston will have considerable flexibility for this offseason. And if they don’t, Sarah Lancaster (Cheetah, G), Mike Lee and Quintessa Hartnett’s (Leopard, C) contracts aren’t getting any cheaper. Ione Estrada (Chameleon, G/F) is up for renewal as well.

There are a litany of questions needing answers from Sand Dollar land. At least now we know why Sharon Sawchuk was sporting a suit when the Beach Bucks could have used her size and tenacity against a superior Bikers club (although she did say she was very close to playing in Game 4 of the WCFs, though her better judgment, and Coach Michaels, eventually got to her).

Yet we still don’t know WHY she was in a suit. Come on, we fans are obsessed with details!

About the only other thing that can be answered as of now is “Will it be very interesting to be a Galveston Sand Dollars fan this season?”

You don’t need to pee on a strip to know that the answer to that, of course, is “Yes”.


Adrian Dorey is an official, team-authorized blogger and reporter for the Galveston Sand Dollars. All opinions expressed herein belong to their source and do not necessarily reflect that of the Sand Dollars organization or the Furry Basketball Association.