Mmm Guild ass. He's got a little tail like a horse, but hairless.

Guild can't swim. Large bodies of water are one of his biggest fears (which sucks because he lives in Maine), because he can drown so easily. Those vents on his neck don't close all the way. A little rain won't kill him but he can catch pneumonia very easily.

The picture on the right is pretty sexy imho but it not Guild's sexy face. This is Guild exhausted - too tired to do much except collapse in the old barn on the Rosencrantz property where he lives. Theo takes him out a couple evenings of the week and tries to exercise him to this point, so he doesn't have spare energy to spend making a mess in the barn.

Theo has better things to do than clean up after bored, horny monsters.

Bottom right is pretty self-explanatory: Theo and classmate Arkite out for a ride. It's pretty common knowledge that Guildenstern is bound to Theo - there's a whole council/directory system in place for dealing with nameless monsters, and there's no real restrictions on who can bind them (Theo has to go to a few classes a week and make sure Guild doesn't kill or rape anyone, or eat anyone's pets; that's about it). It's assumed that if you're smart enough to properly bind a nameless you're smart enough to take the necessary steps to keep it in check.

Guild, Theo and Arkite belong to meee

i need be more consistent in my proportions aaaaargh