No wonder people have been so surprised by Coach Spartan's pics...I honestly thought I'd already uploaded this one here, but I guess I hadn't.
Well, this is a pic of the heads of the St. Harryhausen Athletics Dept, Girls' Head Coach Diana Spartan and Boys' Head Coach Frank Steinman. Of course, considering the 100:1 ratio of girls to boys at the Academy (so far), it's debatable as to how necessary a Boys' Coach is, but considering none of the faculty or parents who've brought this up to Headmistress Lovecraft have had the guts to take her up on her suggestion of "Alright...YOU tell him, then," his job is pretty secure.
In truth, he's actually the most laid-back teacher on campus, although he also sometimes subs for Mr. Hormel, the Shop Teacher (their "safety with tools" lecture has been known to cause post-traumatic stress syndrome), and coaches the school soccer team, the St. Harryhausen Argonauts ("Go Squiddies!"...so far, they're undefeated, although that's mainly because their opponents usually forfeit once the team takes the field), just to prove his worth to the school.
Whatever you do, though, do NOT mess with his twin daughters, Gilly and Sandy...they're still trying to find the rest of the senior who called Gilly a "slut" last year.