Fascinating piece with a classical christian overtone in many classical work. Your overuse of this classic style and the chorus as a filler had not been so well constructed would have bored me but it well constructed.

I not a fan of classical style but your work still seems to fascinate me

I'll take fascination as a compliment. ^^ I use the Christian mythology as the basis for a metaphor. The poem is actually about being rejected by society for rebelling against the norms.

I understood the substance but alas feel that your classic style with its very use of the metaphor added to that conclusion.

I really don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. My apologies, but your high use of the English language confuses me... ^^'

I feel you have much to learn my son.

Bad and good are but word we describe the unpredictable results of our labor and our fruitless hoping that is life.

You did not do bad unless the bad was but nothing to good. The lead turns to gold as the criticism may enlighten you.

Your use of language makes me feel inadequately minded.

indeed..

My greatest question with pieces of "fallen" that a lot of readers don't ask themselves is that when they do fall from "paradise" they question what they've done from an almighty presence. A paradise structured off faith to that structure. So if one is fallen why do they ask why? If you get there through faith, and now you fall, does it not mean your faith is broken, lessen, led astray? Every fallen in almost every story denounces the higher powers for it is their fault they suffer so. I as a reader of this mythos always wonder where did the logic go out the window. I would tell them "by faith you entered, and lost faith you fall". Simple.

The second thought about the catacysm heirarchy that I always wonder about is that the first to lose grace is a plague to all others in the saying "I'd rather rule in hell than serve in heaven." Because by the end of every fallen story they "accept" that they are fallen, they are where they are, but its still not their fault.

Hmmm Denial is a powerful madness.

Just some thoughts your poem evoked.