Here's a song about a man with two heads. We do not actually know this man, but we wrote a song for him anyway. Enjoy the frantic spleandor that is this song.

This seriously came out of nowhere one day while I was sitting around between shows over the summer. The line "Two headed man bought himself a necktie" showed up in my mind.

Lyrics:
One pair of hands, one set of shoulders
a dandy deuce of matching thumbs
he sports a ten pack of perfect fingers
a shiny nail on every one
a forking spine, cleft at the neck
should that be plural? well I see
a set of chins and matching noses
two sets of eyes look back at me

Everywhere he goes you hear dishes crash
and bumpers smashing, people gasping,
what the hey is it just me or is that a

Chorus:
Woah, two headed man, living with himself and him
usin’ double the shampoo
needs four goggles at the pool
internet says it’s a scam, two headed man

Two headed man bought himself a neck tie
went down to the city to find a job
The cafe’s and the restaurants wouldn’t have him
Doors were locked before he could turn the knob
he wandered the busy streets for hours
until somebody pulled up in a van
they said hey man, we need a roadie
and you look like a guy who could use a hand

Then he spent a year, tuning things and hauling gear
until someone stopped to hear him sing
bass and tenor at the same time because he’s a

Chorus II:
Woah, two headed man, singing background vocals with the band
wish he had another hand
always using two mic stands
can’t get more attention than two headed man

Does he have two hearts, does he have two souls
can he control both brains, does he have two life goals
and if you dated one head, would the other miss you
if one had a cold sore, could the other kiss
or would that be cheating, would the love be fleeting
could you stay and know you’ll make it through being
two for one and one with two?

Woah, two headed man, living with himself and him
Woah, two headed man, on the evening news again

Woah, two headed man, a miracle where he stands
hard to sneak up on a guy
who is a literal four eyes
can you tell that I’m a fan
got his faces on a stamp
he’s a big star in Japan
Two headed man

Lyrics/vocals/keyboard: Me
Bass:  shiacoft