Okay, allow me to explain.

A few years ago I had one helluva weird dream about a pirate-ninja-mummy called Crack Arrow. Basically, kind of like the crazy, lesser-known twin of Jack Sparrow. And when I say crazy, I mean legitimately crazy.

Mr. Arrow sprung upon me from the mysterious world of whimsical fuckery and cornered me against a wall, screeching a million miles an hour about how I was responsible for stephanie meyer's birth and that it caused the global financial crisis. After he continued to pester me in search of "the truth", I sporadically found myself naked on the floor in front of his couch, with Crack Arrow's bizarre toilet roll gun pointed at my face.

In an attempt to save myself and turn this screwed up dream around, I had to devise a plan. It was my quick wit that lead me to scream "LOOK OUT IT'S EDWARD CULLEN."

In his blabbering, foaming-at-the-mouth state, Crack screeched out "WHERE!?" and when I replied with "RIGHT WHERE YOU'RE STANDING", he pointed said gun at himself and stabbed himself right through his fast-beating heart.

And so, I've decided to bring Crack Arrow back to life in the form of this strange superhero. His arch nemesis is Axe Nun, the sadistic violent psychopath from my even earlier childhood dreams.

Crack Arrow and Axe Nun © stroopwaffel DONUT STEEL

...
In conclusion, my dreams are messed up.