FA+
Shop
4998
Views
Views
146
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Traditional) / General Furry Art
Species Bear (Other)
Size 800 x 1127
File Size 409.7 kB
Report this content
★
More from Echin
Comic sample page sketch 5: Gone in a glimpse
Just one more page of this before he wakes up.
Category Artwork (Traditional) / General Furry Art
Species Bear (Other)
Size 800 x 1127px
File Size 409.7 kB
The expressions and use of wavery speech bubble in the last frame definitely upped the poignancy (emotional impact). What I have to question are the following few points:
1) Was he this age and level of fitness back in those days? This height and size? Is it appropriate for him to have this mental image of himself if this is a dream or recalled memory?
2) So VERY neatly dressed! Is it actually how he arrived on this scene? Was he not in any kind of rush to get there, not maybe buttoning every button, or even buttoning his shirt wrong, not tucking it in all the way? Did he get into any fights or get out of bed to get here quickly? Is it appropriate for him to look like he just walked out of his office building from work directly here without a hair or bit of fur out of place?
3) The 2nd frame. Is that really how he'd hold his hands if he's in shock or horror? Wouldn't his fingers spread out in terror, turning into claws? Have someone sneak up behind you when you're not expecting it and slap you on the back while yelling and photograph your hands just at that moment or video your hands as it happens for an example.
These are all meant as constructive criticisms, and of course do read as my directions for changing things. It is the way I talk, and not at all what I mean or insist upon. I only share this to be helpful or offer alternative observations where useful. Please ignore in all cases where help is not found or needed.
1) Was he this age and level of fitness back in those days? This height and size? Is it appropriate for him to have this mental image of himself if this is a dream or recalled memory?
2) So VERY neatly dressed! Is it actually how he arrived on this scene? Was he not in any kind of rush to get there, not maybe buttoning every button, or even buttoning his shirt wrong, not tucking it in all the way? Did he get into any fights or get out of bed to get here quickly? Is it appropriate for him to look like he just walked out of his office building from work directly here without a hair or bit of fur out of place?
3) The 2nd frame. Is that really how he'd hold his hands if he's in shock or horror? Wouldn't his fingers spread out in terror, turning into claws? Have someone sneak up behind you when you're not expecting it and slap you on the back while yelling and photograph your hands just at that moment or video your hands as it happens for an example.
These are all meant as constructive criticisms, and of course do read as my directions for changing things. It is the way I talk, and not at all what I mean or insist upon. I only share this to be helpful or offer alternative observations where useful. Please ignore in all cases where help is not found or needed.
1) Nope, those days he was just 7 yo. This is a dream, more specifically, a tragic memory of Bill. He has those thing termed PTSD.
2) Dreams are weird, almost every dream is. So that was unexplainable. He has his modern formal attire on, but the buildings and cars around are of old time, though I didn't relly put much background here.
3) I have to thank you for the detailed suggestion, It should be assuming a claw-like posture rather than this.
Thanks big guy. :D
2) Dreams are weird, almost every dream is. So that was unexplainable. He has his modern formal attire on, but the buildings and cars around are of old time, though I didn't relly put much background here.
3) I have to thank you for the detailed suggestion, It should be assuming a claw-like posture rather than this.
Thanks big guy. :D
Although it's probably too late to re-do this thing with him as a child, please remember that pathos is much more poignant (there I am again with that word) when you put children in tragic scenes like this rather than adult images.
Yes, it is heart-breaking still to see a grown man cry, but even so it kills us to see a child lose a parent. Many of us (about half of Americans, and I'm one of them) "lose" a parent through divorce, so we all have abandonment issues, or know friends with them - and therefore have emotional push-buttons regarding issues of parental loss.
I definitely have a tremendous respect for your talent not just in modeling the healthy anatomy, but expressions - and as a writer, I am glad I have some valuable input regarding some elements of dramatic presentation.
Yes, it is heart-breaking still to see a grown man cry, but even so it kills us to see a child lose a parent. Many of us (about half of Americans, and I'm one of them) "lose" a parent through divorce, so we all have abandonment issues, or know friends with them - and therefore have emotional push-buttons regarding issues of parental loss.
I definitely have a tremendous respect for your talent not just in modeling the healthy anatomy, but expressions - and as a writer, I am glad I have some valuable input regarding some elements of dramatic presentation.
Man I am sorry to hear that. Though I have a normal family, my parents nearly went divorced when I was 11. That feels sucks. Well, yours worse.
Even this is merely a comic I created myself. I hope all watchers will put their heart in and try to feel what the characters are experiencing, and if I successfully causes people to have sad feeling, I am glad it has the impact on watcher too. :)
Even this is merely a comic I created myself. I hope all watchers will put their heart in and try to feel what the characters are experiencing, and if I successfully causes people to have sad feeling, I am glad it has the impact on watcher too. :)
Oh my goddness... After I see this page, I suddenly come up with a melody from a game. This one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIG_rYG5HRE
ohhh, I cry out more with this music.
ohhh, I cry out more with this music.
I see. You may sketch these comics with such melody playing, right? These music can bring you to sad atmosphere and give you more inspiration to draw the comic. Oh, I like to listen to them but not always, or I would be depressed all day and my friends would ask me what happen to me. XD
Kinda weird. I remember that the story or comic which someone finished can reflect that person's characteristic and personality. You enjoy comedy story, but why you can do these such touching story?
Here is a melody I like very much too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3ILGt1stsM . It makes me recall the scene of when I graduated from elementary school, junior high and senior high. I won't forget my friends, my kind teacher that I hug each other with tear through my cheek... That's it.
Here is a melody I like very much too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3ILGt1stsM . It makes me recall the scene of when I graduated from elementary school, junior high and senior high. I won't forget my friends, my kind teacher that I hug each other with tear through my cheek... That's it.
Oww, how emotional is this, I almost get a tear out from my eye, this is really sad to see, too watch Bill in such event. Is even so sad to watch him asking her to come back T.T
The last two frames are the ones that are more convincents for me for the event, the first could be more convincent if you add a tear in process in his eye. But yeah the rest shows a lot that sad emotion. So there´s going to be one last page where he will awake, right?
The last two frames are the ones that are more convincents for me for the event, the first could be more convincent if you add a tear in process in his eye. But yeah the rest shows a lot that sad emotion. So there´s going to be one last page where he will awake, right?
"looks at this image, reminiscing the song from Mirai Nikki OST#2: Track 5."
Wow, it looks very sad... I am not good at displaying emotions through dialogue. But I am impressed. And I rather not critisice anything. Not out of loving it so much, but out of knowing how random a dream can get. A scene can lead to another, and images do not seem to connect( I mean, she got hit by the FRONT of the car, didn't it ran over her?) PS I love how big you make Bill in contrast to his mother and make him say those things.
Wow, it looks very sad... I am not good at displaying emotions through dialogue. But I am impressed. And I rather not critisice anything. Not out of loving it so much, but out of knowing how random a dream can get. A scene can lead to another, and images do not seem to connect( I mean, she got hit by the FRONT of the car, didn't it ran over her?) PS I love how big you make Bill in contrast to his mother and make him say those things.
Comments