The best

BUY THESE SHAM-WOWS OR I'LL BEAT YOU UP, SHOOT YOUR DOG AND STEAL YOUR LUNCH MONEY

!!!!!

IF YOU ORDER NOW ILL THROW IN A SECOND BEATING ABSOLUTLEY FREE

The Sham-wow's would be used to soak up the blood from the rampage.

wow i saw the pick and thought wal-mart employee after pay day.

SHAMWOW GUY: AFTER PRISON.

You needed a microphone

Also

Vince here with a glock! Just load a mag, pull the slide and pull the trigger! Bam! You're dead!

i had a microphone.I took it off to smoke

and yes

I'm sorry, I clicked on this because I thought it was a psycho breakout redemption photo.
Its like "hi, I'm Fred, I like to watch people eat bullets..."

you look like you work at a mob owned dry cleaner.

you follown me camrahman

You do look like your fursona.

HI IT'S VINCE WITH SLAP CHOP

YA GONNA BE IN A GREAT MOOD AAALL DAY

COZ WE BE SLAPPIN YOUR TROUBLES AWAY WITH THE SLAP-

SLAP-SLAPPIN YOUR TROUBLES AWAY WITH THE SLAP CHOP

is that a Glock?

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE MY NUTS.

the germans make good stuff

And this is Jackass.

That's what she gets for trying to bite your ear.

I bet most people just though you were a simple real, enraged, trigger happy filling station employee.

Vince Offer is the master of rambling until people buy things.

Hey folks, Vince here, with a penis pump. Just fuckin' witcha, it's a Slap-Chop!
With Jab00dy Dubs you sir, have won the hearts and minds of america.

whoa...i had not realized that you are actually young bill hicks

honestly though it's pretty amazing how accurately you depict your look through your character's design.

are you saying that I'm also a young conservative talk show host Alex Jones? That's not very nice

i have more respect for alex jones than for the majority of his detractors, though i haven't paid much attention to him for some time.

funnily though i've had the notion for some years that he and hicks had been friends or acquaintances, which was my initial thought when i read your reply, but when i went looking for evidence all i could find is a lot of 'alex jones IS bill hicks', 'alex jones admits he's bill hicks!' stupidity.