Daww ... was this at the beginning of your 'relationship' or did you have to be more cautious than normally every time after a longer break ?

No, I believe this was at the beginning... There weren't often too many people in there to take pictures of me.

At first he was so excited to finally be able to see me face to face (inside his pen) it was kinda scary. A big, fast wolf jumping on you is kinda... Yeah.

He eventually settled down, and responded surprisingly well (As opposed to... Not at all for some of the other wolves) to verbal reprimands when he got too excited.

Eventually, an equilibrium was reached between us. He understood my boundaries, and I understood his. Sometimes he'd plop his butt down on the cement when I approached his pen, his tail wagging, his body tense and almost shaking with excitement. I would say to myself, "Self, this wolf is obviously being good. Go ahead and go in with him and say hi." I would go inside and he'd throw me around like I was made out of air. It was only an act...

Towards the last few years he was alive, he eventually became quite docile and used to me, although he reverted to his old self when someone else would come in.

There was a period of two years where I did not see him. It was the hardest thing I ever did, and also a thing I regret terribly.

When I returned to him, he looked terrible. His eyes were stained with tears. (Wolves can cry tears just like us, I saw him soak up a towel with tears once during surgery)

He was a broken wolf. I felt horrible... I went in with him and he flew over to me, loving me, then he stopped, freezing up. His mind went from "YOU'RE ALIVE!!!" to: "Wait... You're alive... How could you spend so much time away from me?" He began to snarl at me, and the owner of the sanctuary had to hold him back while I got out.

Eventually, he calmed down, but our relationship was never the same. He was so very hurt. He would periodically growl at me, and there were a lot of tense moments.

The last time I saw him in his pen before he died, I was actually pretty scared to go in with him. But... I braved it anyway, because he meant so much to me. He was my strength through some very difficult times in my life.

I knelt down by him, and just loved him. He looked so bad... Like he just gave up. They said he had cancer... I was there when they "put him down". It's actually one of the most painful memories I have. I still have not fully dealt with it.

All my life two legged animals have hurt me and done me wrong. Stolen from me, tried to kill me. I always wanted a wolf that cared for me since I was a child. And I got it in this wolf.

SON OF A BITCH

WHY DID I READ ALL THAT?!

Im gonna have to smoke my last cigg now. That was so touching but so incredibly sad.

Yeah. That's the drawback with establishing a deep bond with a wolf. It's once in a lifetime, crazy, even spiritual stuff. But they do not live as long as we do. I still have not dealt with it, yet. There is a deep sorrow that I cannot bear to touch on, just yet, still deep inside my soul. It's the price of admission... Not counting the bites and nips.

you just have to prepare yourself for their passing. It's incredibly sad. But its just a cycle of life. I will probably have to say goodbye to Rick in the same amount of time he's been on this earth. It makes me quite sad. However, I will always know that I gave him the best life I could while I was around. :c

I see, thanks for the detailed info it's such a touching story. It's a terrible thing he had pass this way but at least you got the chance to cherrish that time together

Yes... I thank God I have pictures... Thank you for the kind words.