Or, what happens to indecisive guys when there forced to make a decision.

So take a risk or this could happen to YOU!

Your...going to be even more indecisive now, aren't you?

He was down to his last set of socks at this point without a single stitch to wear outside of what was on his back. Admittedly if he manned up and decided to run a load without fabric softer he would have a wardrobe full of appeal to wear on various outings. But you see, tradition my friend; tradition, tradition must be upheld at all costs to someone like Edward Vascus Most of these were little things such as putting one shoe on before the other or prep raring one eggs in a certain way. You know the little insanities we all subscribe to as we continue our travels on this sphere. But a few, honestly just a couple, really they were a non issue; stood out for Edward. And one of them was currently assaulting our hero’s fabric of reality both literally and metaphorically.

You see Edward had prescribed to a particular brand of fabric softener for the past eight years of his twenty six year old life. He was raised in a home of cheapskates and bohemians where every cent earned was taken from his small hands and given to philanthropist causes. Whats worse was not the fact that his mother and father were vegan but rather, that they tried their bests to avoid the many harmful household chemicals of the unremembered nineties and and blissfully dreamed of eighties. So our hero grew up wearing wool and hemp clothes that were quite uncomfortable against his flesh and in social outings.

As soon as he escaped from that mental facility called a home in the San Francisco hills he took what little money to his name, purchased new clothes, and used a laundry mat for the first time. At the time Edward was enjoying his first cheeseburger from some small scale west coast burger chain as he watched his clothes tumble through a dryer. On top of the machine he was charmed by a small blue bottle promising soft, fresh, clean, and most of all comfortable clothing. And ever since that day Edward had committed himself to that particular brand of fabric softener.

So now Edward was only in the third grocery store of the night hunting for the illusive cyan bottle. Admittedly he had checked five outlets, six laundromats, ten gas stations, and about twenty wall to wall general stores so far but goddammit he HAD to have his brand. I mean come on, this was America! The land where the consumer decided various things about the uh...the...stuff!

Yeah! Man he really needed to finish up on his homework on consumer psychology soon.

There were bottles stacked up at the entrance and exit to the laundry isle making that section of the store look more like a fortification than a place of consumerism. “It just HAS to be here.” He said to the invisible audience, “It just HAS to...I mean...this is the last store in the area!” The thought of his brand being discontinued hadn’t really crossed his mind until now and the resulting idea caused his bright blue eyes and slender boyish face to twist up into a grimace.

“Can I help you sir?” The voice was as polite and gentle as the tap on Edward's shoulder.

“Well...its...Its nothing...really.” When nothing was two hundred and forty seven galleons stacked neatly around the isle as the shelf's were systemically emptied. “I-I mean...heh...” The five foot eight inches that made up Edward turned to face the cooperate menac-helper. Nervously he ran a small hand through a short puff of thin brown hair as his cheeks light up from the temporary embarrassment.

“I see.” Her voice was bright and light almost like a bell. Chances were she was still in high school, or just graduated. A smile spread on her lips as she leaned to Edwards right to gaze at the damage she would have to put back. “It looks like a something. A little one admittedly but still a something none the less Sir.”

“Its just...just that you um...Um, your store I mean, it doesn’t have the uh, fabric softener I te-” He stammered.

“Why don't you try something new then?” She cut him off before gesturing to the bottles lined up around them with a hand clad in bright green nails. “We're having a flash sale right now, seventy five percent off for the next fifteen minuets!”

“That's great but uh...” The thought that this was only the store trying to get him away never crossed his mind. “But, what if I don't like how any of these smell?” The sales woman's lips curled into a small 'oh' before reaching into a ravened shelf. A small purple bottle is what emerged and it was soon thrust into Edward's chest.

“Well you can always open it to see what it smells like before bringing it home.” She replied before gesturing to the bright pink cap. Oddly the small half gallon bottle didn’t have much to it, the stickers to it seemingly ripped off with age. It was curious however that such a thing wasn’t on the floor with its brethren. Edward was SURE he emptied this shelf as well.

“Isn’t that...against the rules?” He asked as an unsure glance was exchanged from the woman down to the cap.

“Of course not!” She insisted brightly before turning away from him. “Take your time to find one you like, but know you only have...oh...thirteen and a half minuets before the sale ends!” And with that she sauntered off leaving Edward all alone. It took him a short span to get over the mental hurtles of being able to sample something before he purchased it. But soon enough with only five minuets to spare he got the bright pink cap off of the dark bottle and raised it up to his nose.

The scent was an instant success as far as his nose was concerned. It was a simple elegant mix of lilacs and lavenders that reminded him of a certain woman he once knew for three lovely weeks during break. A small smile caressed his face at the memory before he sealed the container back up and made his way to the register. He didn’t question at how quickly they rang him up, nor at how they only charged him a dollar thirty eight for the bottle. Soon enough though he was escorted out to his car by another too friendly face.

The drive home in his used Prius was uneventful and short. He hit every green light and managed to dodge all of the congestion that the city was famous for. Edward eventually reached his row home and made his way inside only to be assaulted by more indecision. There were no directions on the bottle for starters, and he had no idea how this would make his clothes feel! Frowning to himself he decided it would be best to start with something he wouldn’t miss and would have to wear as soon as they were done in the dryer.

He decided on a pair of green and blue flannel pajama pants with a simple white T-shirt. It was simple enough to measure out a cup full of the softener before adding it and then a little soap to the washing machine before letting it do its thing. He paused for a moment to enjoy the memories that it brought back only to close the lid of the device so it could work. Leftover Thai was heated up and consumed and an episode of The Daily Show was enjoyed. Then Edward switched the two articles of clothing out of the washer and into the dryer before enjoying a long shower. He hoped that this choice would do, after all he would be forced to wear what was tumbling currently or...something dirty and disgusting.

Soon enough he was standing naked in front of the now still dryer. He was think, lanky really, almost malnourished but unbelievably tan except for the tell tale signs of swimming trunks. Living near the beach did have its advantages and he wished he was able to swim in it this late into the year. With a deep breath Edward popped upon the door to the machine and what awaited him was not what he was expecting. His clothing had somehow changed, each piece now a rich dark purple that matched the color of the bottle. As his hands graced the fabric within he realized that it no longer felt like cotton; instead it was now smooth and delicate. “Silk...or...satin?” He mused curiously before taking out the once Tshirt. It seemed to have shrunk along with his pants. Where once he had a baggy ensemble comfortable for lounging around the house he now had tight, almost body fitting sleepwear. Yet...

Yet, he strangely wasn’t bothered by this. The clothing felt divine against his hands and the smell coming off it was even better than it was in its condensed form. He would have to buy another softener, sure, but he would keep this one too and use it on private attire. The pants went on easily enough even if they clung tightly to his body. The shirt was much the same and when all was said and done both were quite comfortable on him.

Satin he decided after a moment of admiring himself in front of a mirror. After all it had that slight shine to it and was unbelievably soft but, there was the nagging question of how. How could two pieces of cotton clothing reform themselves into satin? He'd sleep on it and maybe do some research in the morning as well. There was nothing to worry about, especially if what he was wearing felt so comfortable. In fact as he retreated into the living room for some late night television he contemplated doing the same to the rest of his sleepwear.

As the thoughts were mulled over in his brain a wonderful warmth began to assault his flesh wherever it touched his new clothes. It reminded him of a massage honestly, of that oil that sunk into your flesh and replaced all sensation and feeling with a numbing heat. A soft sigh escaped his lips as his eyes began to droop. The last thing he did before passing off into sleep was running a hand over his chest to enjoy the sensation of his nightwear.

Edward awoke to The Daily Show with a groggy yawn. At first he thought it was a repeat episode only to see it was new! And that it was somehow still dark outside. His fuzzy brain took a moment to compile the data before he sat up. Did he miss class today? Well, obviously he did if he slept for twenty four hours. “Shit.” The words were soft and gentle in a tone that was somewhat unfamiliar to his ears.

Soon he was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth to get ready for the day. He would throw on the cleanest clothes he could and run out to the store so he could do his laundry before gouging on his homework. It wouldn’t be a fun day but, it had to be done. Next up was a shower which meant taking off his new amazing nightgown. With a frown he reached down to tug off the pants only to find the shirt somehow attached. He blinked, confused for a moment before trying the shirt only to tug his pants upwards with it. Again, he tried pulling upwards only to give himself a horrible wedgie which forced him to relinquish his efforts. Somehow over the course of his rest his shirt had merged with his pants into a one piece that would be impossible to take off.

In a panic Edward rushed to the laundry room to examine the bottle and soon he was back in the living room with a phone in hand and bottle in his lap. The labeling to it was completely gone save for a small sticker on the bottom with a 1-800 number to call. Soon he was greeted by an automated menu and the first option strangely, related to his condition. After pressing one he was asked to type in his address. After that he was thanked before being informed someone would be by to help him shortly.
Not five minuets after that faithful call there was a knock at the door. The moment he opened it Edward was greeted by a hug of all things. The best hug he had ever experienced in his life in fact. He recoiled at it as he fell back onto the ground with a gasp. On top of him was a young woman clad in a smart lavender business suit and matching skirt with white trim. Around her neck was a darker purple bow that stood out against the ensemble. She gave him another squeeze before standing and offering him a white gloved hand. “On behalf of Universal Commercial Goods I apologize for the inconvenience you are currently undergoing!”

“What?!” He exclaimed as he reached for his hand. Once on his face he opened his mouth to say more, yet another hug silenced him. In fact the only noise he could make during the hug was a soft coo. While the only movement was a reflexive counter hug around the woman's petite frame.

“I'm here to make sure eveeeerrrything works out! Don't you worry, Human Resources Agent May is on the case!” Without warning this strange woman with short blond hair was tugging and pulling at his clothes. “I see, I see...Hmmm...subject is quite reactive to the softening agent.”

“Subject, hold on now I'm no-” A neon green clad finger was placed against his lips.

“Now now sweetling, your the one who called for assistance did you not? That makes me in charge of this whoooooole operation!” She replied through a maniac smile. “And what an operation it will be!” For a moment Edward contemplated saying something but it was almost as if the woman could hear him think. She giggled before taking her finger and using it to move his head back and forth. “Now now, I'm the professional here while your just a student. How about I do the thinking for both of us?” Now she was moving his head up and down, and strangely, that sounded like a good idea.

She spotted the bottle of fabric softener that had started this little problem in moments, the thing on a small counter near the door. Upon grasping that she looked it over before popping the lid and giving it a sniff. The strange girl's eyes light up with understanding and her smile took on Cheshire proportions. “You sir, made a VERY good choice. A personal favorite if I do say so myself! Now...” She glanced behind him in a way that reminded him of someone he had met recently. “Show me to your bathroom, would you? I think a nice bubble bath will solve most of your problems.”

“B-bubble ba-” And another hug, this one from behind as the woman arched up on her tiptoes to rest her cheek against his.

“Be a good soft thing and show me, would you?” Her voice was somewhat sterner now and as he lingered in her heavenly embrace she employed a new weapon. A single gloved digit reached into the bottle and emerged purple. With that she began to rub it under his chin and then neck, sending an unreal warmth through him. He would have melted if possible as she caressed his neck next before finally focusing on his shirt collar. Half words stumbled out of his mouth during this as Edward was reduced to a quivering mass in her arms. “Now...show me.” She whispered sickly sweet.

It was a short and rather obvious walk to the bathroom but the agent was enjoying this far too much to force him towards his destiny. When they entered she playfully began to tug at his shirt as a foot fiddled with the faucet to the tub. “Aww!” She pulled daintily before focusing her other hand around his neck. “It seems its stuck to you!, no getting it over your head I'm afraid.” As she spoke her hand wrapped around his wrist and brought his it up to his neck. He felt it, the fabric not just stuck to his flesh but somehow joining with it. There was no seam anymore and what was worse was that he could feel his finger on the shirt as if it were his flesh.

“Somethings really wrong!” He exclaimed and for the first time, breaking away from the woman who had shifted so she was guarding the door. “And your acting like its fine, like this is how its supposed to be!” Her expression softened drasticly at his words though there was a glint of amusement in her eyes.

“But this IS how its supposed to be. Don't you recognize me from the store yesterday?” Her hips swayed, taking a step towards him. “You couldn’t decide anything without help. Sooo...” She smiled ever so sweetly as she reached out for Edward who took another step backwards that ended with a splash. He was up against a wall, literally, with one foot in the tub. “I took the liberty upon myself to make it so you don't have to decide anything ever again. Isn’t that nice of me? I think it is...you think it is too, don't you?”

Before he could respond the woman flicked some of the purple substance at Edward, a glob landing on his face. His world filled with that same warm embrace he had grown to love and the words slipped out of his mouth. “I do...” he mewled as she shut the bathroom door.

“Good. Now, hush...” Her gloved fingers caressed his lips for all but a moment, tracing them in a makeshift lipstick. It was mellow with a sweet lingering aftertaste that made his head spin. Her hands ran down his arms, easing him into the tub as his shirt began to stick to, no, merge with his skin. “Lovely. See, its so much nicer to just let others do the thinking for you.” She giggled which forced him to giggle absentmindedly as well.

The clothing on him grew heavy as it was submerged and greedily absorbed the fabric softener as she applied it. Soon there were no seems to Edwards satin pajamas and instead his tan flesh looked out of place against the shiny soft fabric. Small bubbles began to form om the tub as Edward shivered and squirmed underhand. The steaming water felt cool in comparison to the makeshift soap that his new friend was applying to him. His whole body felt like it was on fire and even if he was thrown into the antarctic sea he would emerge victorious as the water was turned into a cloud.

“Your coming along nicely.” She said objectively, the playful attitude gone with his resistance. Experimentally she grasped one of his legs and gave it a squeeze and his flesh seemed to give way. Edward could have sworn he felt the fingers connect with one another for a moment before she let go and his leg sprang back into shape. He looked down to see that his pants seemed somewhat fuzzier and thicker as countless strands of fabric waved back and forth in the water. And the satin seemed to be spreading, the tops of his feet resembling that of a hobbit. Oddly his toes seemed bigger too almost as if they were made of sponge instead of flesh and blood.

“But it doesn’t bother you, does it?” She asked without missing a beat in his mind. To which, Edward answered with a shake of his head. He was rewarded with another taste of the fabric softener and as he enjoyed the lovely taste on his lips he leaned back, sinking down into the tub to discover that he was floating.

“Mmmm...” he mumbled as the agent went back to caressing his body with the magical cocktail of chemicals. For some time this continued with May going through multiple bottles of fabric softener as the faucet continued to run without overflowing. He must have fallen asleep during this but when everything felt like a dream it was hard to tell. Warmth and a wonderful lethargic feeling became all he knew. Once or twice he reached up to touch the woman only for his ever softer and larger limb to be gently pushed back down. And soon it became impossible to move for he was so very heavy.

Eventually Agent May adjusted Edward so that he was sitting in the tub, though, she had to hold him steady else he fall back into a lounging position. She took another bottle and poured it over his head, the substance drooping down across his neck and back. Fingers then began to dance across Edwards skull, massaging and caressing every inch of it as the softener was rubbed in. His mind continued to slow even more as soft cries of laughter and joy began to emerge from his mouth. It felt great to have someone else wash his hair for him. After all he had so much of it now and it was so very thick as it came down to the small of his back.

But she didn’t focus on his hair for long, instead her fingers began to assault his ears. Pulling, and tugging and massaging and shifting them into a new, better, proper shape and position. Soon Edward could feel them twitching slowly above his head to every bright crisp sound. There was however one sound missing which was the sound of running water. He gave May a curious look who patted him on the head, sending fireworks through his nervous system.

“Lets get you up, huh?” She asked though it wasn’t really a question. She reached down, wrapping her hands around his right arm even though they couldn’t make their way around the massive soggy limb. “I know you cant move too well right now but try to stand up for me.” And he really was trying even as each limb felt like it weighed a few hundred pounds. However with allot of help they managed to make their way into the kitchen even if Agent may was dripping wet by the time they were there. “Now I'll be riiiiight back, okay? Don't you go anywhere little thing.”

And so Edward was left alone to examine his new body. His flesh, save for his face, had been utterly replaced by a thick abet quite wet coat of faux fur. He ran a pudgy hand over it gasping at how lush it felt and then his eyes widened at something strange. His stomach seemed to reform around the pressure of his hand leaving a deep indentation with a soft squish. The feeling caused him to giggle and do it again...and again until his chest and stomach was quite lumpy. Each push forced him to feel even more solid, the warmth within each clump of whatever he was made up of now growing warmer and warmer as his body heat changed with him.

But he was interrupted by two hands that wrapped around his stomach and began to squeeze tightly and lovingly. Slowly they moved upwards moving his inner material as if he were a living tube of tooth paste. In the background he could hear a hairdrier beginning to warm up as he enjoyed the embrace that seemed to drag on for a blissful eternity. And then before he knew it the hug was over and his form had changed. Where once his body was universally pudgy now he had a voluptuous figure; large yes, but defiantly female.


However there was something else that had changed, after all there was no way all of that weight had simply vanished into his hips and chest. “My my...” The woman whispered “Your looking positively perfect! Juuuust like our mascot.”

“Mascot?” He...she cooed in a wonderful feminine sultry tone. They had a mascot?

“That's right Lavender.” Lavender...yes, that WAS her name, wasn’t it? “All we have to do now is dry you up and then we can get going. I'm so happy management decided to relaunch our cleaning division and I'm even more happy that you managed to get the job!”


Soon there was a hot pink portable hairdrier in May's hand. The heat from it was magical, instead of a slow internal burn like she had been experiencing it was a fast, hot, powerful thing that made her head spin. The agent teased her with it, playfully warming spots here and there before moving on without doing any real work on her new wet coat. However soon enough she got to work, focusing on her back first.

Yet, it wasn’t her back...not...not really. The hotter her fur, and by extension her soft squishy insides got, the more she became aware of something new. She could move it too, as if there was another arm behind her. A massive floofy arm that felt so warm so lovely and May seemed to be resting her chin on the tip of it. Lavender turned her head round as quickly as she could manage which was of course, quite slow; to discover a lovely surprise. A tail. She had a tail, a massive purple thing with a bright white stripe down the middle of it that was as big as she used to be. “I'm glad you like it.” May whispered, running her hand through the thick fuzzy satin fur. And she did like it, after all it was perfect.

And so the drying continued, each moment cementing the changes in the being that was previously known as Edward. Her form began to expand, the fluff within her heating up and expanding as it expelled water. Lavender's limbs began to barrel out into thick puffy tubes three times their previous size. Her hands and feet seemed to be absorbed by these, simply joining the mass until the tips of her arms and legs were smooth, flat endings with cute bright white paw designs. Not that it bothered her, after all who needed hands for hugging? Especially when your limbs were able to contort around someone in the tightest snuggle ever!

She was quite happy to be dry as well, her form though so much bigger and pudgier was easier to move. Standing a good seven and a half feet now the plush mascot moved at lightning speed to hug the agent behind her tightly. May gasped as her form was eaten up by the memory foam like material before she gently patted the creature on the back. “I'm so happy to see you taking so well to this Lavender!” she cooed before looking up at the mascot. “There’s just one last thing to finish~” The skunkett's grip loosened ever so slightly she her friend could raise the hairdryer.

Standing on her tip toes May began to blast it right into Lavender's face! Of course! That was the one thing that hadn't changed! Right now her entire form from the chin down and hair back was in its proper form but her face still had hints of the person she used to be on it. Good thing that was easily reminded. White satin began to spring up on Lavender's cheeks in a wonderful tickling sensation. Giggles began to escape her lips which became a permanent purple. She could feel her face pushing out into a soft malleable muzzle full of lovely white fluff tipped with a lilac heart for a nose. All she could smell was the scent of fabric softener, not that she would have it any other way. Soon her face was engulfed, utterly changed save for her eyes.

Her eyes were not the next thing to change however. What was next was her mind, assaulted by so much dizzying heat and fluff that she couldn't even think anymore! No, all she needed was her instincts to hug and cuddle and make things smell nice. And of course listen to the nice managers that she would be working for! Sure, sometimes shed have to deal with a trouble customer or someone nasty trying to shut down the organization but most of the time she would make the little ones happy so their parents would buy their products! Oh! And give out hugs too! Hehe! Where was she anyway? What sort of person lived in this strange house? Oh well...she was sure he was a nice guy!



As the dryer began to wind down Lavender, the being once known as Edward, blinked for the last time. Her eyelids ceased to be as her two orbs began to harden. They converted into a hard durable pitch black resin that reflected the world and all of its splendor through them. The companies newest mascot for its renewed division was complete.

And she would never have to labor over a decision again.