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*contains two swear words!*
So this is my entry to
jessicaelwood's contest. I don't know that it's really my best work, and I'm not thoroughly happy with it on the whole, but it's a little late to be making huge changes. This is more or less what I set out to write, and I think that's enough.
A little info about the character (since his background will be sent only to Miss Elwood), he actually began as a Mary Sue for a Redwall setting, hence the silly name. I later used him as a self-insertion character in a LARP. As he stands now, pretty much nothing but the name, staff and species remain from the original character concept, and I think he's grown far out of the Mary Sue realm, so no worries there. ^v^
Shout out to my buddy
thegru. He's totally gonna beat me. :D
Realm of Valis and all nations created by jessicaelwood. I made up all the towns. c.c
EDIT, 9/8/09: I waited a year and a half for any word, and just found that the contest ended just five months later, with no word given here. I didn't win, lol. D: But now I know!
So this is my entry to
jessicaelwood's contest. I don't know that it's really my best work, and I'm not thoroughly happy with it on the whole, but it's a little late to be making huge changes. This is more or less what I set out to write, and I think that's enough. A little info about the character (since his background will be sent only to Miss Elwood), he actually began as a Mary Sue for a Redwall setting, hence the silly name. I later used him as a self-insertion character in a LARP. As he stands now, pretty much nothing but the name, staff and species remain from the original character concept, and I think he's grown far out of the Mary Sue realm, so no worries there. ^v^
Shout out to my buddy
thegru. He's totally gonna beat me. :DRealm of Valis and all nations created by
jessicaelwood. I made up all the towns. c.cEDIT, 9/8/09: I waited a year and a half for any word, and just found that the contest ended just five months later, with no word given here. I didn't win, lol. D: But now I know!
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Vulpine (Other)
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 38 kB
Listed in Folders
The characters and setting was quite cheery, and gave a pleasant feel; I also enjoyed the colorful language, (and no I don't mean the swear words.)
"The Arse end of the wrld shits snow!" That however was the best line ever!
As for the story idea it seemed to be only a peice, a fragment of a much larger story that should be told. Perhaps someday you can do that...
"The Arse end of the wrld shits snow!" That however was the best line ever!
As for the story idea it seemed to be only a peice, a fragment of a much larger story that should be told. Perhaps someday you can do that...
Originally, I had wanted him to actually tell his story to the kids. It would be a greatly exaggerated accounting of some fanciful adventure. However, when it came down to it, I absolutely couldn't come up with a story-within-a-story that actually worked, so I scrapped it. Reason #1 why I'm not satisfied with this. :|
Very nice. Based on how cheery everything was at the beginning, I somehow had a feeling there might be a darker thread running underneath; I wasn't disappointed. :) I also liked how well you worked in the descriptions and setting into the action and dialogue, so things kept moving without leaving the reader behind.
I really, really liked your dialogue in this story. It made me feel like I was there.
"The arse end of the world shits snow!"
That was great--and it made me laugh.
I'll admit, it started out great, slowed up just a little bit in the middle, but you picked it back up with the slightly dark mood at the end. Well done. You're quite talented.
"The arse end of the world shits snow!"
That was great--and it made me laugh.
I'll admit, it started out great, slowed up just a little bit in the middle, but you picked it back up with the slightly dark mood at the end. Well done. You're quite talented.
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