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A poem I wrote about Feral.
Category Poetry / Scenery
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 1 kB
I shall take up the task of critiquing as much of your literary art as possible, starting with this poem. As I have far more experience with traditional forms, critiquing this poem should be easier for me than your later art. Now, I've only had about 2 years experience of writing poetry, so I ask that you please correct me if any of my criticisms are off. Since this poem seems to lean a little more towards form, I will critique its' form alongside its' style and content.
Form: As someone who writes in forms often, I would say that this poem's form is definitely not its' greatest strength. However, this is not to say that it is a bad poem, just that the form is bad. I guess the main problem here would be that it sets down a semi-consistent rhyme scheme without a real meter. Rhymes are nice, but without meter, they don't sound as good. When the rhyme scheme and meter are a consistent pattern, we can start having a decent form in my opinion. So my advice would be to practice meter next time.
Style: Your style seems great in my opinion, but can always be improved. My only suggestion is that perhaps you could eliminate wordiness in a select few places, but as of now, I don't see much wrong with it.
Content: And now we come to perhaps the most important part. First off, most of the imagery is a wonderful joy to read. Your use of certain adjectives also adds to that experience. The message you're trying to send comes across clear in an entertaining way. Perhaps the one problem would be the use of a cliché every once in a while. This is fine, if it is necessary for a good particular reason, but it's usually best to avoid them. Overall, I loved the content.
Summary: The style and content made this a decent poem, even if the form was lacking. This may or may not have been better as free verse, but it's still a good job.
If I missed anything, please tell me. Thanks!
Form: As someone who writes in forms often, I would say that this poem's form is definitely not its' greatest strength. However, this is not to say that it is a bad poem, just that the form is bad. I guess the main problem here would be that it sets down a semi-consistent rhyme scheme without a real meter. Rhymes are nice, but without meter, they don't sound as good. When the rhyme scheme and meter are a consistent pattern, we can start having a decent form in my opinion. So my advice would be to practice meter next time.
Style: Your style seems great in my opinion, but can always be improved. My only suggestion is that perhaps you could eliminate wordiness in a select few places, but as of now, I don't see much wrong with it.
Content: And now we come to perhaps the most important part. First off, most of the imagery is a wonderful joy to read. Your use of certain adjectives also adds to that experience. The message you're trying to send comes across clear in an entertaining way. Perhaps the one problem would be the use of a cliché every once in a while. This is fine, if it is necessary for a good particular reason, but it's usually best to avoid them. Overall, I loved the content.
Summary: The style and content made this a decent poem, even if the form was lacking. This may or may not have been better as free verse, but it's still a good job.
If I missed anything, please tell me. Thanks!
Thanks for your comments, as always, they are much appreciated.
They also make me realise that I should probably have taken more time and effort to explain a few things...
From about 2002-2009, I almost completely lost the ability to write poetry, only managing a few, odd attempts during that time, most of which was absolutely unusable, awful crap.
In my earlier years writing poetry, I almost always stuck fairly religiously to strict form and prosody, with only a little bit of experimentation here and there. Unfortunately, it also eventually stuck me in a box that I found too constraining. Hence, in late 2009/early 2010, I found myself reading some old folk poetry by folks such as William Wilfred Campbell, and a number of others, and I realised that there was a sense of immediacy to many of those pieces that all of my recent attempts had been sadly lacking. Hence, I decided to start experimenting with meter and flow, and seeing just how far I could push things by creative catalexis, substitution, and addition of other elements such as decorative triplets.
The object was to bring in sense, not just of smooth ebb and flow during live reading, but also of unexpected eddies and whirlpools that might sweep you along if you could skilfully ride them out, or could smash you on the rocks if you lost control. Hence, it's often become a game of seeing just how far I can push things, yet still retain overall control of the piece.
The thing about that was that that small sense of danger and adventure was enough to make things fresh for me once again, and reawakened my life-long love for poetry. It is indeed ironic in a way, that to fall in love with the form all over again, I pretty much had to tear up the form rule-book and toss it aside. Hence, it became a game in seeing just how much I could push things, if that makes any sense.
What's even odder is that, as I said recently, I'm starting to regain some interest in going back to stricter forms.
Many of the pieces from this particular period: namely 2009-2014, I often feel that they might lose some of their wilder edge if I try too hard to impose form upon them, but my opinion might eventually change on that. In the mean-time, I'll probably try and ease back into structure on some of the newer pieces... Whatever feels right.
They also make me realise that I should probably have taken more time and effort to explain a few things...
From about 2002-2009, I almost completely lost the ability to write poetry, only managing a few, odd attempts during that time, most of which was absolutely unusable, awful crap.
In my earlier years writing poetry, I almost always stuck fairly religiously to strict form and prosody, with only a little bit of experimentation here and there. Unfortunately, it also eventually stuck me in a box that I found too constraining. Hence, in late 2009/early 2010, I found myself reading some old folk poetry by folks such as William Wilfred Campbell, and a number of others, and I realised that there was a sense of immediacy to many of those pieces that all of my recent attempts had been sadly lacking. Hence, I decided to start experimenting with meter and flow, and seeing just how far I could push things by creative catalexis, substitution, and addition of other elements such as decorative triplets.
The object was to bring in sense, not just of smooth ebb and flow during live reading, but also of unexpected eddies and whirlpools that might sweep you along if you could skilfully ride them out, or could smash you on the rocks if you lost control. Hence, it's often become a game of seeing just how far I can push things, yet still retain overall control of the piece.
The thing about that was that that small sense of danger and adventure was enough to make things fresh for me once again, and reawakened my life-long love for poetry. It is indeed ironic in a way, that to fall in love with the form all over again, I pretty much had to tear up the form rule-book and toss it aside. Hence, it became a game in seeing just how much I could push things, if that makes any sense.
What's even odder is that, as I said recently, I'm starting to regain some interest in going back to stricter forms.
Many of the pieces from this particular period: namely 2009-2014, I often feel that they might lose some of their wilder edge if I try too hard to impose form upon them, but my opinion might eventually change on that. In the mean-time, I'll probably try and ease back into structure on some of the newer pieces... Whatever feels right.
It took a while before form became second nature to me, and I always loved the challenge of form. Now, however, I can ironically write in form easier than free verse. This is not to say I can't be quite experimental with form. I've wrote a couple poems in two different experimental forms. Since I stuck with form as I matured as a poet, they have become natural. This is to say, for me, they now only have a very slight constraint on what I'm trying to convey. I am aware of the vast difference between our two styles and how many years of experience we both have. I am glad you're willing to take the time to reply to my critique. It shows that you respect my opinion, and I thank you for that. Best wishes! ~Corvus <:
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