T...the ending almost brought tears to my eyes...

Hehe I'm glad you liked it, Brother! :D

You are talented! :3

Cant tell if i should be sad or confused but its a good story bud ^^ nice work

If I'm honest, it struck me as being really heavy-handed and predictable; I had a good idea of how this would end just by reading the first paragraph. I attribute that more to the length, though, and not to any lack of talent. A deep emotional push like the kind you were going for just can't be established over a short-term read (and thanks for asking us to read this on Christmas BTW).

Alrighty! That's how I viewed it as well - I knew that I was dropping TONS of hints throughout. Though was it painful to read because you knew how it was going to end, or did it still illicit an emotional response of some sort? I wasn't going for "OMFG SO DEEP!" with this one, but rather see if I could at least get some sort of emotion from my readers with just detail settings and minimal dialogue.

Given your "thanks for asking us to read this on Christmas" comment, I'm guessing it was still touching, at least in part....

I'll admit I did want to stop reading the first time I came to the word "Mummy," but it was mostly because I could see where it was going. It made it pretty clear that the character's only real function was to illicit sadness and sympathy. But there wasn't enough time to develop her into anything more than a typecast -- a character with no personality beyond the role she was intended to fill. That's why you can never get that kind of an effect in the short term.

At least not in a text-only environment. I can think of a few animated shorts that left me feeling that way despite an otherwise minimalist approach by the animators, but text requires the readers to make a substantial emotional investment before it can have an emotional payoff (nobody but the villain dies in the first Harry Potter book for a reason).

okie dokie then! Thanks for the feedback~

This is a very nice story, very sweet! It was a little bit predicable but you had a very short word limit.

I was actually trying to keep it below 1000, but... yeah, thanks! :D

Now, did it's predictability make it any less sad or enjoyable for you?

Not really. Like I said, I enjoyed the read. :)

Huzzah~

It's been a while since I read many stories, but this seemed straightforward enough. It was hard to build up strong emotions in such a short space, but I didn't have any problem visualizing the environment from the descriptions. Kinda felt sad seeing the vixen have to go through the crossing of the Ghost Barrier, but we all have to do that at some point.

but it was enough to at least muster some semblance of sadness within you, right?

Not a lot, but the thought of spending a century as a ghost, and then someone seemingly so young to have to deal with the crossover into the beyond is a bit of a downer. Not enough to really jerk tears, but enough to perhaps feel a light whimper of emotion.

There were enough clues to realize she was a ghost early on, so it wasn't till the very end when I learned just how much time indeed had passed before it hit what a century alone might be like. I understand that crossing the Ghost Barrier tends to be a bugger of a trip, so, someone that young having to go through it sounds like a trauma also.