You surprise me sometimes :) well done :)

Thanks. I've always thought the snake character should have a sad, hard background, and over the last year or so, this story's come about for that. I like the idea that he can be a friendly creature to interact with, but also manages to be a cold-blooded (figuratively as well as literally) killer. I personally think this defines him well.

I approve

nice additions

I found this a very good read. A thought out, well plotted read. This makes a great introduction to the character, establishing both the setting and really laying out who this person is. He isn't human anymore. He accepts this, d in a way, the cold blooded mentality he shows isn't even a monstrous thing; people are capable of such, as you show. His body just gives him a "unique" outlet for it, an outlet and power he understands and utilizes with thought. But in the end, his life is still his to live, his path to choose. Demon of body he may be, but he is not truly evil, and where he goes and what he does is still his own choice. He brought capital justice to two killers, ended one whose mind had, in a sense, long since passed away already, and essentially helped in assisted suicide. In a world of borderline anarchy, are such acts really so monstrous? A bit of a morality debate, to be sure, but you show the emotions and mindset of the character well, so that even with his new body and actions, he really doesn't seem a monster to me.

Glancing through your gallery, it seems there may be more to this character, and the initial demon as well, that I will need to look through.

Yes, there is certainly more to this fellow. He's the character I've mainly been using online for years now, so there's a certain amount of "peggy sue" to this story: I'm basically framing myself as the lead character. As such, I'm a little hesitant to write too much of his story, but yes, there's a ton of his life running through my mind.

He becomes a somewhat odd creature: He's a demon, so he feeds upon intelligent life. He doesn't really have a choice in that regard, and at times, that means dragging someone at random off to a hiding place and eating them. If whatever world he's in accepts him for what he is, he's probably reasonably safe, though does tend to take on the "judge, jury, and executioner" role. If the world doesn't... Well, he still finds food.

That leads to all sorts of broken mindsets. He can love someone and care deeply for them, but once he gets bored with them, falls out of love so to speak, there's a very good chance she'll go to bed, wrapped up in his coils one night, only to find herself being taken as a midnight snack. I'd say that sort of behavior would be very late in his life, after he's spend eons killing people. Eventually, it just becomes commonplace.

Yeah, I've probably thought his character out, almost too much. :)

Love the story, hope to see you continue with it. Excellent work.

Odontaspis does not act rashly or emotionally like a teen. He seems to be more mature; cold, calculating and thougathtful of his actions, rather than using his new abilities to go on a rampage just because he can. Don is surprised by some of his actions as a snake demon, and you could further explore (or not) how his personality and mind set are influenced by his transformation, and how it affects his choices.

Another aspect is your demons have a code of conduct and honor, keeping their word and promises, and they have a reason for their actions, though with Gilrandree, you need to listen very carefully and choose your words wisely, or the outcome may not be as expected.

Also, another great piece of art, since I didn't mention it in my previous comment.

Really good story. Great job!

Wow...this story is....well I must admit I never read anything like it until yet. (I've read both versions now but I will just reply here)

A really disturbing world, and you describe Don / Odontaspis mindset after he changed really good. Somehow he is in a moral twist - he has a new body, new insticts, new powers, but his thought are mostly still human, he is unsure how to react and what to do at first. You described it really good, and although I am not really into hard vore, I like the story. Very well done.

You are also bringing up good points about morality. Is killing a killer morally wrong? Or helping somebody to die, if he or she doens't see any hope left in this world? Tough questions you are bringing up here.

I have one good important question, Is this going to continue?

it's just as great as the other one

but i do find some parts sad, you really know how to bring out emotion in your story. please continue! I'd love to read more

Amazing and really good written Story :) Love your char and the pic for it would looove to read further

Cool story

You know I have some friends that are really go of at 3D animation, but the price too much mostly because they do the animations smoothly and take their time, want me to inform them?