◕Gift art◕


>>>>>TL:DR : same blablabla about me than in the previous picture, and this is a gift for my friend  spinal22 <<<<<



It's very personal so don't read if you are not interested in my life and please be respectful ;)


I have the most important advice to give you today. Nothing fancy and it's pretty easy to understand.
Just treat the people you love like you wanna be loved.
This past year was pretty difficult and I was feeling so lonely. No real people to see, being alone in my tiny lost village for 3 years now. Nothing to share in my family, feeling just invisible.
People that I used to know who didn't care anymore about what I became. Only the furry fandom was pretty happy to know and see me, to worry about me.
Working hard about art, thinking each second how to make it better, how I could reach my dreams. Every point in my life was difficult. Love, health, money, art. I thought I was alone, in fact I was not.
I'm talking to much, I'm a totally anxious person. Scared about everything.The fact to not have social life or going outside my house often don't help. Sometime I just freak out and be hyper emotive.

This Christmas time was very difficult. Didn't make the things that I planned to do.
I was down. Mentally, but also physically. But some people were here. Even if they are pretty far, even if I make them suffer or just being not a good friend with them.
They were here, still worrying for me. I'm pretty funny, always joking. But I guess somewhere I'm kinda asocial. I'm scared to be linked to people.. or to have friends in the same way than everyone.
Because few people totally broke my heart several times, and maybe cause my very first experience of friendship finished in the most horrible way.
Since then, I'm very afraid to lose people. And when they say that they will be always here for me. I don't trust them. Because you can't know what going to happen in life...

After that, I found love. To my 15 years old until now. Never been single. My boyfriend was each time.. my friend, my family, my lover. My everything.. To much things to be for only one person I guess.
Needed to much attention, to much love. I slowly thought that friendship was useless if you are in couple. The result was that each time I was destroyed by break ups, left totally alone and down.
And when my boyfriend was ashamed of me, I just wanted to disappear ...

I'm sick of it. I want it to stop. I want friends. I want to open my heart and stop being afraid. Must live for me and not only for a special someone or his point of view.
Have friends that I want, that I choose, and stop being scared by everything that can happen. So I'm going to draw some pictures for people who really helped me this year (and a little bit before)
Even if I didn't say thank you, or realized at this moment. They truly helped me to be a better person. And to learn who I want to be. Kind of late Christmas presents to special people.



This picture is for  spinal22

At first Spinal was a simple customer, asking me for a commission. Didn't notice that he was french until some months XD.
We even spoke about his commission in english. I don't really remember how, but then I understood that he was french and form Lyon, where I know few people. Then we talked a lot on skype, mostly about art, or video games. We also been active into a skype conversation with several others french furs. Creating awesome private jokes and memories. This guy is totally crazy. In the good way.
Never saw someone who is always smiling like him, or making jokes all the time to cheer up people. He is very optimistic and cares about everyone. He will always help people, even if he don't know them. He have a strong mind, doing what he wants to do. Don't care about if we will fail or not. He just do it and enjoy his life. Well, kinda the opposite of me, always scared about everything.
Spinal is also a artist. Drawing a lot, I'm glad to help him and see him improve his picture every time. He also help me a lot when giving me advice or motivating me to continue my ideas that I'm afraid or not that much interested to finish. He is also very inspiring XD with always funny ideas and things to share.
Beside my boyfriend, Spinal was the person with who I spent the more time (on the internet sadly) and with how I chatted the most during this year. I guess I can say that if I would have to define my best friend right now. It will be probably him.

So thank you Spinal for all the help that you gave me !
This picture is for him, his necromancer character Sanlich and his crazy skeleton creation Cthulume. I love theses guys XD





Wow, I'm so afraid to post this. It's so personal *shy*.. but.. Did I not say that I shouldn't be scared anymore ? :3
I'm sorry for the poor english/grammar, hard to speak with your heart in something else than your native language.
I also want to say that I love you all, dear watchers and friends *w*

Comments, favs are appreciated and always welcome !