Art © Rightful Owner
Character © Myself


Please read.

Something has been bothering me for quite a while. The way the Canadian Government makes people in need of mental help, such as depression, anxiety, stress, and even signs of other mental problems such as sociopaths pay entirely for their own help and how society pays absolutely no attention to youth mental health. Not even the youth pays attention. Our government spends more money on sex reassignments, which personally I think should be paid by the people that decide they don't like the way they are. I have nothing wrong with transsexuals, you can be whoever and whatever you'd like, but most people deal with things as simple as depression never chose it. At least 49% of people who have felt depression or anxiety have never seen a doctor, or spoke up about it what so ever. I'm a perfect example. I've been depressed for three years straight and battle extreme anxiety, which keeps me from having any close relationships to people and also guards me from any happiness, and now after so much time trying to turn to drugs and substances like alcohol, I've literally realized I no longer have any emotions towards anything, I'm a giant, empty pit. There's nothing to me, I'm absolutely useless. If we don't pay attention to our future generation it's just going to be a giant destructive mob. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, a single person dies every 40 seconds from suicide alone. You may not find anything important in this, seeing as how we've been born into a species that [deny it or not] is entirely conceded and no one's lives no matter how much you say means even slightly as much as our owns mean to us. Imagine your daughter, so innocent, just pushing through to place that weak smile on her face. You have no idea how unhappy she is, how much her heart is breaking every second.

You think you're putting in as much effort as possible to make her have the most valuable and perfect life but that doesn't change the fact on how broken she is. She could be one of those people that decides that the tightening rope that literally pushes all of the air from escaping her lungs is an easier way to go and a better place to be than the world and home she's been living in her whole life. There's plenty of people out there that say suicide is weak and cutting is wrong. Yet we walk on this planet alongside these unhappy people every single day and we're more of the problem than the solution to any of the harm and unhappiness they deal with and it's actually so disgusting. Recovery is hard because that little bit of what you may recall as insanity will always burn deep in your pit and there's no way to put out that flame. Whether you know it or not, mental illness affects every single Canadian and American citizen whether through friends, family, or even just people they barely know. In Canada alone 1 out of 5 children that need mental help actually receive it, which means that those four children, whether very young or very old are dealing with the worst pain imaginable. Sometimes, I myself feel like I am a sociopath, and maybe the only way I will find joy is through the pain of others, yet I've come to realize that it really isn't. I have swallowed lung fulls of water, and sliced through precious skin because it brings back the feelings I've pitifully lost over time. Anxiety disorders affect 5% of the general population, which eventually causes some inconsiderable intense impairments. Yet here I'm sitting, for once actually contemplating the fact that I want to see someone, a psychiatrist or a counsel, yet when I look at my local school councilmen I realize that they have the worst reputations for exploiting details of children's lives, and in the end they really don't help with anything, they just double the pain that the child goes through.

And than there's psychiatry. My family would never be wealthy enough to entirely pay off the expenses that my sadness and emptiness has cost, yet our government has the core ability to literally not give a single fuck. I think now, more than ever, the government and the people we are surrounded by, meaning you, should pay more attention to youth mental health especially. If we don't all put our foot forward, our future generations could deal with a life that is covered in darkness and sadness, thinking they're alone and lost in this immense sea of people that are breathing, while all the life is being torn away from them. I'm not saying this as some anti-bullying get up, which is also a huge impairment that causes numerous mental illnesses and the people that solely turn to bullying are very discouraging and rather engrossing people, it's more to focus on the people that have already been brutally thrown into this ocean of pain. I'm writing this mainly for one of my best friends, her bravery and her absolute loveliness so amazing, when I know that everything in her life is so chaotic and so stressful and really, I could never imagine having to go through what she goes through without absolutely publicly breaking down. I want her to stay strong, because even at this moment being the emotionless monster I am, for the first time in a good five months, tears are inexplicably rolling down my face. She doesn't tell me everything, yet even the little she does is the perfect example of how just the tiniest bit of revealing their unhappiness to the public and finding shoulders to lean on can change a life forever.

Think about the happiness moment in your life, maybe looking into your wife's beautiful eyes for the first time knowing you love her, or that rush you got that one crazy time you and your friends went on a wild adventure. Now imagine that you faked that smile, you didn't really feel that love or that excitement, yet everyone was blind to the fact that you had no feelings towards anything. That no one actually realized that your happiness was a lie. It would be so dreadful to be stuck in that tiny little bubble, not being able to say anything, being trapped by the fact that there was a possibility that you would never be able to feel even the smallest twinge of happiness of excitement ever again. I think it's time we really do pay more attention to everyone else, and less to ourselves. Because when we look closely at ourselves, we're all equally messed up and hurt, whether we show it or not. Whether we feel it or not.