Because of all the potentially lethal stress I've been going through, I can't help but to draw this. I've been overly fretful and stressed out about my grades, my money (which I know sounds immoral, but it's because the country runs off of money all the damn time including fun activities), friends and so-called "friends," my social ineptency, what others think of me, why I am feeling more empty everyday (and lost), why I've been so behind on life compared to so many others who know me, my shamefulness on that, the fact that I can't be happy if I don't succeed proficiently and quickly/soon enough, why I am not good at anything at all...etc. etc. etc, if you get the picture (no pun intended), I really should just let things go even based on things I can't control. This is mainly because of the bitter nature I have with the quality of life that makes things seem unfair, and even more provoking towards rage when people judge negatively.

For that matter, I drew this picture to really convey all those complex senses of sheer frustration and catastrophic insanity of hopelessness.

I'll explain what the picture's elements presents:

Any areas of light-grey/white represent hope; the chains breaking in white, the future of light, and the glittered rays in the dark past as well as the plasma liquid of Azure's bleeding heart, correspondingly represents freedom, hope, good memories, and feeling better.

The areas of black; the body parts, the dark right-side, and puppet chains (yes, that's how empty I feel with people to myself), correspondingly represent a draconic being of sadness willing to shred into the light like a spiritual cocoon, a painful past (and still will be), and force/restriction of inner imprisonment.

The violet markings represents Azure's blood in his essential key color; a symbol of both pain and unforeseen strength.

As I have finished writing this, I will no longer be communicating with anyone around here nor in the fandom. I need to find another, and better way to meet new people and make more friends without having to deal with so much pain and envy/self-futility(lack of faith), that it consumes me. I wish to have happiness based on what I want to do, and unfortunately, some of that will take longer for me than others because of the circumstances I'm under, in addition to how some of such actually costs money or something difficult and unfair.

In the end, I just want to smile and live without a needlessly brutal struggle. What's the point of getting stronger if the pain will never end? We need some manageable pain, not constant, endless pain, if we want to gain for ourselves. So in all due respect, please don't ever, ever pick on me, bully, judge, nor be a complete jerk to me, because I've been through enough pain to undergo any more ever since I was in elementary school and even here as of recent. I want you to understand, and I want you to tolerate. Trust me on this; it's not fun looking at one's past and know that there was a 7-year depression on the line somewhere. I don't want that to happen again. Not ever.

Art©RC 2013/AP MMXIII

Took about 45 minutes to do from start to finish. Done in Corel Painter Essentials 4.

Don't you dare copy, steal, alter, nor distribute without my given, original permission.