Fred is always fun. Love his preference for lollies. :>

Heehee, glad that someone's still thinking of the lollies!

Interesting locale for an assassination assignment :p
Ah, so that's the gorilla from the previous comic's uncle? I was wondering if it was the same character, given how friendly he and Fred were speaking to each other.
The colors and effects look great here.

A lot of folks have been saying how Fatty and his nephew look too similar... I suppose it's true, in retrospect. However, since Fatty will appear again and his nephew is behind us now, I think I can get away with it a bit.

Heh, that'll do ^_^

Finnally! I was dying to know what's going to happen next! love the story, can't wait to read the other pages.

Thanks! I'll try not to disappoint. I'm getting back into the groove of things.

I know you won't dissapoint anybody! XD If you post them late it's Ok no one has free time everyday! :)

Ah, classic eurorock and corruption. It mixes well!

I was hoping to show the band's emblem, which turned out quite cool, but sadly due to bad dialogue placement planning I had to cover it up.

Thanks, man. I appreciate your help so far as well!

Reviewing this, Fred seems to have a predilection not just for lollies, but also for excessively froofroo drinks! Is there any sort of tacky cocktail ornament that ISN'T in that glass he's holding? I count at least two umbrellas AND a pinwheel AND a little skewer of (we can only hope) something passing for fruit...

And a straw. Real men take their alcohol through straws, obviously.

Oh, Fred will drink just about anything- in fact, it's kind of a problem with him. Frosty beverages with a ridiculous excess of garnishes? Yep! Beer with formaldehyde? Sure! Suspicious smelling moonshine out of a Jerry can? No problem! Like any dog he'll try anything once, but will likely regret it most of the time.

Dialogue pickiness: you probably mean "discreet," not "discrete," and "his own suicide" is clunky and could be replaced with just "suicide." Wouldn't lose any meaning with the current context.

The "Please! Let's keep things discreet!" also reminds me of the beginning of Jurassic Park. "Dodgson! Dodgson! We've got Dodgson here!"

Paoboy in panel 2 also reminds me of a couple of characters from Snatch in terms of making him show his age. He also seems too verbose, but I'm not writing him, so I don't know if that's just the way he talks or whether there's room to prune the stuff he says.

Something is weird with Fred's face in panel 1, but I'm having a hard time verbalizing it. Perspective?

To me, the transition between panel 4 and panel 5/6 works poorly - the arrangement seems to suggest that the flow is bouncing off of the right side of the page instead of starting again on the left as normal.

I like how Paoboy's glasses are noticeably wider to fit his face: they look right.

Tiny, tiny-ass detail: who leaves their utensils on their plate that way? I've never seen it. I thought that people usually leave the food end of the utensils near the center of the plate and the handles near the edge of the plate.

"Theme: Too Many Garnishes" makes me smile.

I like that the top and bottom panels are page-wide pictures with smaller chunks between them. I think that helps this scene. You're pretty good at going "here's an establishing shot, now here are details." The panels also help to tell us that Paoboy is important. I would actually think about horizontally flipping panel 3. If you did, there would be a subtle composition thing that I think would help. With that change in mind, if you look at the page as two triangles, divided by a line going from the upper left to the lower right, the right triangle is Fred and the left triangle is Paoboy.

Also I like the subtle cue that all the haze and gradient effects happen over Paoboy, but our view of Fred is clear. By creating distance, it reinforces that Fred is the POV character and that we can't really know what Paoboy is thinking.


As always, digging the story and looking forward to more.

I tip my hat off to this conversation not happening in a titty bar. A band like this is a lot more original.

The drink is outrageously flamboyant. I rate this page A+!

D'oh! Now I'll have to have a business proposition in a titty bar! See what you've done?

The drink was a bit of whimsy on my part, primarily to show Fred's outrageous nature but partly because I love goofy cocktails.

'Der Kommisar', cool tune.