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Poison
17 years ago
Folks, can I ask you all a favor and leave a kind or encouraging comment on this guy's submission if you're so inclined?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1002540/ [edit: he removed the image]
Yes, I'd be embarrassed if this were on my own back, but this guy's real comfy with being a babyfur, and his tat artist seems great, and it seems like he's completely aware of what getting this tattoo will entail.
Being yourself should not be something you're ashamed of.
I should NOT be having to make these kinds of posts all the time. Serious Swatcher moment here, folks. This is the second time this week where I've had to point out honest to goodness bullying on this website. I don't think it's gonna affect Wuffy78 here, but it does affect me, and it affects folks like Wuffy who aren't as confident. Makes 'em bitter. Makes 'em afraid to express themselves. I've talked about this kinda poison before. I love the community here and I want it to be a positive place that encourages folks to just do weird shit and damn the consequences.
And honestly, for once I agree with the mods who are deleting comments. Delete them the fuck out of my life. I don't want to read anymore of your negative bullshit cynical lol-internet jokes. You should be ashamed of yourselves!
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR BULLYING. No "teaching them an important lesson about how cruel life is". No "they should have expected this for putting this picture on the internet". No "lol the intarnet is serious business".
NO.
EXCUSE.
We need solidarity in this. I'm so tired of dealing with these people who are flooding in and making this site all about them and their complex and how much trouble they have dealing with people who are far more personable, confident and inspiring than they will EVER be.
Jesus H. Christ, furries, let's just chill the fuck out and go yiff in our fursuits or something and leave these other people the fuck alone.
So to lighten the mood, here are some music videos you might like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0359hSerDeE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdTFfoZuuws
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1002540/ [edit: he removed the image]
Yes, I'd be embarrassed if this were on my own back, but this guy's real comfy with being a babyfur, and his tat artist seems great, and it seems like he's completely aware of what getting this tattoo will entail.
Being yourself should not be something you're ashamed of.
I should NOT be having to make these kinds of posts all the time. Serious Swatcher moment here, folks. This is the second time this week where I've had to point out honest to goodness bullying on this website. I don't think it's gonna affect Wuffy78 here, but it does affect me, and it affects folks like Wuffy who aren't as confident. Makes 'em bitter. Makes 'em afraid to express themselves. I've talked about this kinda poison before. I love the community here and I want it to be a positive place that encourages folks to just do weird shit and damn the consequences.
And honestly, for once I agree with the mods who are deleting comments. Delete them the fuck out of my life. I don't want to read anymore of your negative bullshit cynical lol-internet jokes. You should be ashamed of yourselves!
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR BULLYING. No "teaching them an important lesson about how cruel life is". No "they should have expected this for putting this picture on the internet". No "lol the intarnet is serious business".
NO.
EXCUSE.
We need solidarity in this. I'm so tired of dealing with these people who are flooding in and making this site all about them and their complex and how much trouble they have dealing with people who are far more personable, confident and inspiring than they will EVER be.
Jesus H. Christ, furries, let's just chill the fuck out and go yiff in our fursuits or something and leave these other people the fuck alone.
So to lighten the mood, here are some music videos you might like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0359hSerDeE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdTFfoZuuws
Basically, earlier tonight someone made a post on the forum that was basically bashing on everything and anything furry-related.
People like that can be really stupid... So, really, the best thing to do is just to disregard it, if possible. No point in justifying a foolish opinion of one person by arguing against it.
(thx)
d.
Mods and admins are thought to do what they do because it's their job. True.
But this kind of thing has no chance of changing at all (while it changing at all may seem a bit utopian, but you get the point) unless the rest of us stand up and decide that it's not acceptable any more in our community. I believe it was Voltaire who said "Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do."
I'm with you on this. It may be a valid point that this may not be a wise decision, but it's unacceptable to hide behind a curtain of "He earned it" or other bullying.
Again, thanks for being a leader and stepping up. In doing so, the rest of us sickened by some of the replies find we're not alone in our disdain for them. However, that same rest of us needs to step up and step forward to stand together in making our community a better place.
(Though forgive me if I just suggested a virtual neighborhood block party.)
those kinds of comments (when they are true in their intent, not when they're referential or tongue in cheek) are such classic and obvious psychological re/misdirection of emotional pain and confusion, i'm like WOAH, WAY TO EXPLORE YOUR OWN PSYCHE NEVER
plus being nice is just easier and more fun, innit? am i crazy??
TEH
LULZ
INTERWEB
FAIL
THESE ARE THE WORDS OF THE MASTER RACE OF INTERNET DOUCHERY
also, i dunno if you seen lulz or other sites like that
but it's funny how desperate everyone is to give off this impression of hating furry shit amidst this hugely vast array of furry porn. it's such blatant denial and hypocrisy that even the simile i thought up to describe it is too obvious and unfunny.
I dunno about deleting comments; they can't delete them untill they're posted, and that means the target has already got them. Leaving them up at least shows everyone else who the assholes are.
The most frustrating thing is that getting upset at folks who do this kind of thing is exactly what they want. They want attention, they want you to waste your time on them, they want to cite an emotional reaction.
It's great to support folks who are getting bullied, and physically stop bullies if you can. But on the internet, you're pretty much stuck to the former... The best you can do is ignore the bullies, pretend like they don't exist; don't mention them at all when you support someone else. The more insignificant they feel, the less attention they get, the less they'll think what they're doing will get them the attention they want.
(Comments that are deleted by the administration before the link is opened by the community member are not received by them. It is, however, easy for them to 'presume the worst').
> The best you can do is ignore the bullies, pretend like they don't exist; don't mention them at all when you support someone else. The more insignificant they feel, the less attention they get, the less they'll think what they're doing will get them the attention they want.
Yeah, it's kinda sucky on that. And, in this case, when the nastier elements don't just hide behind troll accounts, but also complain about 'permanent bans' - presumably in order to create further 'drama' - when those are caught (e.g. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/279004/ - for information /only/, please).
Is good to be focused more to the positive that does exist on this community, but certainly not to ignore those on the 'receiving end' of hurt whilst just focusing on that.
Thank you & Best wishes (to y'all),
David/uncia
And, btw, your avatar originally creeped me out... but now... the more I look at it the cuter it gets
Oh God I've been on FA too long.
That just made my day :)
You can't expect folks NOT to react, and while being outright vicious isn't the best course of action, telling someone 'hey, you aren't allowed to say you disagree with this!' is almost as bad as ..well telling someone they're a twit for getting something questionable put on their body. When we get down to brass tacks.
I'm all for being supportive, but I draw the line at fluffing someone's ego because they chose to go public with something that would get them so much flack.
And well, when there's a line in the ToS regarding respecting other users' right to use this service, and to not be harassing or disruptive, we kinda can, and do, expect people to at least show some personal restraint in HOW they react to something.
Nobody was told "you can't say you disagree with this." The one guy who actually was just saying "I disagree with this" and not just being insulting or lulzing was pointed out as an example that it IS possible to express dissenting opinion without just dumping on a guy.
And nobody has to condone anything. But seeing something you disagree with, rolling your eyes, and passing it over without comment (if the only comment you have to make would just be empty negativity) is not condoning it.
The whole 'see it, ignore it, move on' option is a middleground between condone and condemn that is really far too often dismissed.
There's a not-so-fine line between restrained, civil dissent and flamboyant, shit-stirring derision.
I've been thinking of investing in a personal translator. 9_9
The whole 'see it, ignore it, move on' option is a middleground between condone and condemn that is really far too often dismissed.
I agree, actually. I have one or two buddies who ignore this option and sometimes I want to insert the phrase "leave nice, consenting weirdos alone" into an airsoft gun and shoot it into their brain.
My point is that, considering the hate floating around baby furs as it is, noone can say they didn't see this coming. You post things at your own risk here. I did mention how being outright vicious wasn't a good plan.
I guess I should have been more clear what I was directing toward when I added the line about telling someone they're wrong for disagreeing. :/ He had replied to someone on the image saying while their concern was nice they were being condescending.
Honestly I decided against commenting because I don't want to look like a bully . :| I've already had my hand slapped once for posting what I figured was harmless satire. Last I need is another warning for leaving 'offensive' comments.
A random chanboard or general forum might be at your own risk. This place has rules regarding behavior and conduct for a reason. That reason being that the purpose of the site is to be something OTHER than just a bigger, more complicated chanboard. It's meant to be a community for people to share with others of similar interests.
If people post something that is not one of your (general 'you' not you specifically) interests, then you simply focus on the aspects of the site that ARE of interest to you. If the rules allow a submission, then nobody is to be harassed or hassled for posting it. And if the rules don't allow it, that STILL is no justification for harassment or abuse, people can simply report it and we will remove it.
All this serious business crap just gets really ridiculous after a while. The site's here for people to share stuff, mostly art, but a little social too, with like-minded people. Of course not EVERYONE in such a large group will always overlap completely on interests and opinions. But NOBODY is justified in trying to suppress or run off anyone else just for posting something they disagree with. The behavior on that submission was absolutely beyond hateful. And that ugly face of this community is just not going to fly anymore.
As far as your own hand-slap, eh, the issue shouldn't have gone as far as it did. That too was an example of how things went beyond what should happen between reasonable adults due to some people thinking that this site was 'at your own risk.'
It's all about considering if it's really worth the trouble.However, he might of figured he'd be below the radar and was really proud. Like I said before, there's nothing wrong with being proud of who and what you are. I recall someone asking if he was the guy from the initial shit storm with the arm tattoos and the tone of his response was that he either knew of it or was the guy... :/ which leads me to believe he knew what he was in for posting the image of his back.
Me? To be honest, I don't bother browsing the site. <:/ mostly because a lot of the content here is not in my interest. Harassment is never justified. That's why instead of fighting over my pic staying up, I just put it on my other gallery since people genuinely liked it aside from the satire about dragon eating. If it was bad enough that it needed to be taken down, then so be it.
And I apologize if I've come across as having any issue with you. You seem to be pretty reasonably middle-ground in your view of this stuff.
It's just that some of the reasonable points you've made tend to be what other people use to justify taking their behavior into the extremes. Yeah, we can't police every teensy aspect of the site, and some asshattery is bound to be expected. We respond to what gets brought to our attention, and we do what we can within reason to keep people from just being dumped on (a big difference between that and just being disagreed with, no matter how much some people try to act like they are one and the same thing).
The 'post at your own risk' attitude is largely a cause of this behavior. You and I might be able to see and understand that it means there is >some< degree of risk for bad attention when you post anything to the net, and no ToS or Admins can completely remove that.
But a lot of people take it to the extreme to try and place any blame for harassment on the target, because "he should have known better."
From the staff point of view, our ToS and the purpose of this site, is to give people a place to share where they don't have to be as afraid of that factor. So maybe he thought about the possibility, and decided it was still safe to post because this site states itself to be a safe place to post things (within the AUP). That then makes it >our< failing if we aren't doing something to live up to the impression our ToS gives off.
If people don't like Admins acting like Teachers dealing with children, then it'd be really intensely spiffy if they'd stop acting like unruly children in need of a teacher to send them to the corner.
I worked at my church's after school program for 3 years, grades k-5, and seriously, NONE of those children were half as disrespectful and unruly as the average one of these lulzies.
And I'm not obligin' anyone to say anything nice. I figured if you really didn't want to say anything of that nature to him, you would just not listen to me. I'm not here enforcing the TOS, I'm just me.
I want a positive, constructive community, and I understand the community wants to keep its various members in check and with their feet on the ground. People are going to disagree with things whether they comment or not. If someone has genuine, heartfelt disagreements with something, and they're aware of the issues, there's no reason they shouldn't post. It's only so easy to cross the line.
Double edged sword situation. :/ Noone should have to feel embarrassed by who they are but if who they are is of questionable character..maybe being so frontal about it isn't the way to go. Bad example but it's kind of like most straight people don't mind the gay population until their shoving it in their face that they like the same gender.
The net has made people pretty cold empathetically. I can't lie, I feel it too. I just choose to either not comment or if I do I end up retyping it five or so times to make sure I have the right kid gloves on. Thhhen there are times when I just don't care to be overtly polite but that's usually after I've been dealt the initial blow.
That is a bad example... D:
Without exception, whenever I hear people complaining that gay couples are "shoving" their "gayness" in "our faces" it just means that they're holding hands and/or kissing each other on the cheek in public, or other activities we afford to straight couples without question. It's marginalization, and it's blaming the victim. Should gay couples refrain from holding hands in the park because it might offend the sensibilities of some bigot? It's a slippery slope! Living with shields up, pretending to be normal when you're really not, is a destructive and much more shameful way to live.
In high school I knew a guy who was closeted (he confessed to me a year or so after we graduated that he was gay) and I'd honestly the act of covering up his homosexuality made him the most vocally homophobic person in my grade. He even had a girlfriend to cover up his gayness.
I hate that people have to live like that. I hate that the attitude surrounding misfits is to pretend to be someone they're not so that they don't get hurt. I hate that when a person does get hurt for not maintaining the status quo, people always blame them and say "they should have known this would happen!" instead of saying "why are these assholes permitting themselves to beat up on people?" which is what I'm saying.
Sorry for the essay! I just wanna make it clear what my intentions are, here. I want these jerks to control themselves more than anything else, to have some empathy and some self-restraint. We're each our own moderator, and a basic sense of empathy is a way better guide than the ToS will ever be. The net hasn't made ME cold empathetically, and I've been on it for a while. You're only as jaded as you allow yourself to be, and that's a fact.
That sucks that your friend felt he had to do that. <:/ course my sympathy goes to him and his 'girlfriend' mostly cause that sucks to find out that the person you are with is only using you to hide behind and not so much to be with you.
I understand your intentions, and I didn't mean to point you out cause of the condescending part of your comment. It just struck me as an odd thing to say when to me the comment didn't seem that way. And yes we're only as jaded as we let ourselves be. I think my reasoning in that aspect as I visualize it as if we were all standing face to face and not typing on a keyboard so the behaviors just don't work.
Then it was gone. It was on the site for a minute, and it was gone.
And I realize how intensely infuriating it is that I've gotten to the point of cringing inwardly when I see someone expressing themselves in a way that I know is going to draw the attention of people who simply should not be allowed to do what they do here.
But people don't listen when we ask nicely, they don't listen when we demand firmly, and EVERYONE gets mad when we ever suspend or ban anyone. So there really is a great sense of futility here due to lack of community-accepted options.
I mean why is getting a tattoo that big of a deal on this site? I mean, seriously. SERIOUSLY. It's a great big world filled with wonderful things, how is some dude putting his fursona on his back some sort of GRAND EVIL? Out of all the things that are going on to be mad at, why that? You know I've gotten mad at people here but I either just reel it in or talk to them reasonably and nonthreateningly. Or at least I try! I can say for a fact I've never threatened to harm a single person in my dumb little life, whether it be on a furry website or in real life.
From the direction a lot of things in this world are going, philanthropy and genuine love and appreciation of humankind is going down the gutter for this nu-misanthropy, this whole FUCK EVERYONE BUT ME YOUR WHOLE '''MORALS''' ABOUT HOW I SHOULD TREAT SOMEONE NICE IS UNREASONABLE RESPECT IS EARNED ANYTHING I SEE THAT DOESN'T MASH UP WITH MY OWN SELFISH WORLDVIEW SHOULD BE NUKED FROM ORBIT LUUULLLZ.
And you know what? Sometimes it feelsl ike the world's taking a terribly cruel turn. I made a decision a while back that I wasn't going to be part of that brand of purpousless cruelty.
I think these guys have fostered a notion that they are the only entity of any value. I think it started out as self-aware social ineptitude ("hey guys lets act like complete morons and be self-aware about it! Teehee!") which evolved into a sort of life-style of jeering, misanthropic contempt for people who don't wear their self-loathing on their sleeves.
When you make a mockery of someone, nobody wins. You get five minutes of self-satisfaction. I can say with confidence that in 60 years, nobody who insulted this guy will remember who Wuffy was or that he had a tattoo. If they do remember, it'll probably be with a vague sense of remorse.
02c/aside, anyhow & thanks for the note, Swatcher :)
If I got a tattoo, it'd be one wing on my back, all awesome and detailed.
WHAT WOULD OTHER GUYS WANT AS A TATTOO?!?!?! :D
there is so much fetish frontin' on FA that it drives me bananas.
SO MUCH FETISH FRONTIN'
All this UGH THIS IS THE WORST THING IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD comments on that entry makes me think that some people need to get their priorities straight
If a babyfur tattoo makes you SO MAD that you can't control what you say then you probably a) have lived an extremely sheltered life sans suffering or b) are a bitter sad misanthrope. Although from most of these comments, I'm going for option a) I suppose.
like you'll spot horrible bigots or objectivists or WALL AFRICA AND LET THEM DIE people on folk that put that picture as the worst thing, and tell it to people who had much worse shit going on like their best friend hanging himself on the goal post on the soccer field and only be found 3 days later or his little sister being drowned
and then they have the balls to go WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS NOT THE WORST THING? CLEARLY YOU ARE A DELUSIONAL FAGGOT WHO JUST WANTS TO JACK OFF TO CARTOON PORN, CLEARLY THE WORST PROBLEM
ALSO ROLLEYES AND LULZ BUT YOU PROBABLY ARE WAAAAY TOO FAMILIAR WITH THIS NONSENSE
YOU SEE, BRIDGEPORT, they need to be told what to be ashamed of because clearly, pretending to be a baby animal and going around in diapers has NEVER been pointed out to them as being an unusual thing to do.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO WE NEED TO START OUR OWN TASK FORCE YEAH FUCK YEAH TO TAKE CARE OF THIS FURRY SHIT
IT'LL BE JUST LIKE YOUNGBLOOD!!! I'LL BE BADROCK AND YOU CAN BE THE GUY WITH ALL THE GUNS
MAN IF WE COULD JUST GET SOME NUMBERS AND ADDRESSES WE CAN GET THIS ALL FIXED UP AND RID THE WORLD OF THE FURRY DISEASE (IT IS LIKE AIDS LULZ) AND EVERYTHING ATTATCHED TO IT BECAUSE IT'S A POISON AND A DISEASE AND I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY I AM RIPPING APART MY COMPUTER MONITOR EACH TIME I SEE A BEAR IN A DIAPER BECAUSE GOD DAMNIT HOW CAN THESE PEOPLE LIVE? WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP TALKING ABOUT DARFUR DOES IT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH FURFAGS? NO?!?! THEN WHY DO YOU CARE UGGGGGH THE REAL MENAE IS THIS GUY WHO HAS A SET OF FAKE EARS ON FUCKING GOD DAMNIT IT MAKES ME SO MAD NNNNRRRRRRRRRRGH I'M LIKE THE HULK BUT WITH NO REDEEMING VALUES AS A HUMAN BEING AND THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF A SHIRT BOUGHT AT SPENCERS GIFTS
HEY GUYS DON'T LIKE MY ATTITUDE?!?!?! THEN FALL INTO A DITCH LULZ I DON'T CARE AT ALL
Then I found http://modblog.bmezine.com/
WARNING: there are people there that reroute their urethra, stick knives and forks into their junk, and cut off their nipples, cast them in resin, and wear them in their earlobes. And it is considered cool and awesome by the community at large.
I've poked fun at people (maybe not to their faces) for being different, but then I realize I deviate from the norm too. Slowly and gradually, I've been building tolerance for all kinds of different things that likely would have scared me senseless a year ago. A lot of what I encounter here is strange, but its all a part of what makes people unique. The more I get into the reasons why people have "strange" fetishes, the more I've learned to understand and appreciate them. Its an ugly part of human nature to shun or ridicule that which is alien to us and I'd like to think that perhaps someday I can put that aspect of myself behind me.
(information for others: I found this video)