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how I came out
11 years ago
So this is another one of those real-life experience journals. Following on from this one http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5673490/ detailing how I first recognised I was an Adult baby.
This one is about me telling my parents about my tendencies.
I I'd just moved out of my parents house. I was 20 years old and suddenly had my own flat with space to finally explore my AB side. But I was worried. My parents had a habit of randomly turning up at my flat unannounced and I didn't want them to randomly stumble into my house to find me dressed up in full baby gear.
So at the housewarming party I got exceptionally drunk and decided to write my parents a letter explaining I was an adult baby and that it was no reflection on them as parents and that I loved them totally but I was who I was and hoped they would love me regardless of what I was into.
Anyway I posted the letter whilst still drunk.
I woke up the next morning vaguely recollecting that I'd been writing something. Suddenly it all came back to me and I freaked out I phoned my mum and told her that a letter was coming to the house and under NO circumstances was she to open it. She promised she wouldn't.
2 days layer my mum randomly turns up at the door with the unopened letter in her hand
"so care to explain what's in this then or I'll open it"
I was stuck.
So I then had to explain it all face to face with my mum instead. Which kinda made me wanna curl up in the corner and die. Lol. Not an ideal situation.
So the outcome? Both my parents and 3 sisters are cool with it all. My mum thinks it's just a phase, (bear in mind I told her when I was 20 and I'm now almost 33) my dad hugs me more than he ever did when I was a real kid, my three sisters are fine, my youngest sister kinda adopted me as her younger sister which is ace. She used to come round and play playdoh with me. And just generally mess around like kids. But now I live 500 Mike's away that doesn't happen anymore. (lol stupid autocorrect 500 miles not Mike's, that's just silly... I only know 5 mikes)
So what would I say to anyone thinking about telling their family.
Be careful. I was lucky that I lived in my own place when I told them. Your parents might not take it well, they could potentially disown you. Send you to therapy? If you still live under their roof you stand a lot to lose by telling them something that realistically they probably don't need to know. I only told mine because I was worried about them bursting into my house unannounced and ffinding me on a baby day lol.
So yeah I wouldn't have told them anything if I didn't have my own space to retreat to. But I'm glad I did tell them because their reaction was okay. I'd be singing a different tune if my folks had been less accepting. So I guess you have to think long and hard whether you wanna tell your folks things or not.
Has anyone else told their friends or family? Maybe hearing more people's experiences will help get a rounded view of good and bad experiences.
This one is about me telling my parents about my tendencies.
I I'd just moved out of my parents house. I was 20 years old and suddenly had my own flat with space to finally explore my AB side. But I was worried. My parents had a habit of randomly turning up at my flat unannounced and I didn't want them to randomly stumble into my house to find me dressed up in full baby gear.
So at the housewarming party I got exceptionally drunk and decided to write my parents a letter explaining I was an adult baby and that it was no reflection on them as parents and that I loved them totally but I was who I was and hoped they would love me regardless of what I was into.
Anyway I posted the letter whilst still drunk.
I woke up the next morning vaguely recollecting that I'd been writing something. Suddenly it all came back to me and I freaked out I phoned my mum and told her that a letter was coming to the house and under NO circumstances was she to open it. She promised she wouldn't.
2 days layer my mum randomly turns up at the door with the unopened letter in her hand
"so care to explain what's in this then or I'll open it"
I was stuck.
So I then had to explain it all face to face with my mum instead. Which kinda made me wanna curl up in the corner and die. Lol. Not an ideal situation.
So the outcome? Both my parents and 3 sisters are cool with it all. My mum thinks it's just a phase, (bear in mind I told her when I was 20 and I'm now almost 33) my dad hugs me more than he ever did when I was a real kid, my three sisters are fine, my youngest sister kinda adopted me as her younger sister which is ace. She used to come round and play playdoh with me. And just generally mess around like kids. But now I live 500 Mike's away that doesn't happen anymore. (lol stupid autocorrect 500 miles not Mike's, that's just silly... I only know 5 mikes)
So what would I say to anyone thinking about telling their family.
Be careful. I was lucky that I lived in my own place when I told them. Your parents might not take it well, they could potentially disown you. Send you to therapy? If you still live under their roof you stand a lot to lose by telling them something that realistically they probably don't need to know. I only told mine because I was worried about them bursting into my house unannounced and ffinding me on a baby day lol.
So yeah I wouldn't have told them anything if I didn't have my own space to retreat to. But I'm glad I did tell them because their reaction was okay. I'd be singing a different tune if my folks had been less accepting. So I guess you have to think long and hard whether you wanna tell your folks things or not.
Has anyone else told their friends or family? Maybe hearing more people's experiences will help get a rounded view of good and bad experiences.
I have only told a few online friends I have known for several years and have been very surprised at how accepting they are of it. Makes me feel like I won the lottery for online friends. xD
Though I don't really use diapers or anything, so I guess it's not as "much" as it can be for some people.
to tell my biological parents or other family
that I am a furry, that I am intergender,
or that I have huge paraphilias for breaking clothing, weight gain/inflation, genderbending, transformation of humans to anthros, etc.
it's something I'm content in sharing with fellow furries.
mundanes don't need to know about it at all.
I don't fly freak flags, though I am quite a freak,
and not ashamed of it... I just don't enjoy rocking boats.
I was worried and kept it to myself, didn't even go to forums or talk with other abdls on the internet before I was 20, when at a house party after a lot of booze kinks came up as the topic, and I was like "eff this, they're my friends, they won't hate me for this" so I came out and most of them said it was either normal, or cute.
That's when I opened up, since then I'm on forums, I do diaper art for FA here (oh god it's been two years now :O ) and most of my friends know.
I told my sister, who's in medical college and she practically psycho-analyzed me and said she could understand why I liked this stuff. The only person who thinks it's stupid and wants me to stop is my mother. When she found me out ( :S ) she thought I was a pedophile, when I explained to her that it was quite the opposite, she decided I must be retarded, and still thinks that. Meh.
I agree that it's better to come out only if you have a place to call your own, but not only because of family might disown you; I had friends who, when learned about my AB/DL side, asked me to pad them up because they were curious about it
Either she's even less understanding than mine or your wording wasn't that good...
Anyhow, being into diapers or enjoying being taken cared for is, from my POV, is not somethin I would tell a doctor, because it's not a 'problem' as much as it is just a quirk. I guess it was nice to be reassured by them about that though.
But I've never gotten wasted enough to write a confession and mail it.
That some impressive binge drinking.
TMI Wednesday - What were you drinking?
...dressed as a 3 year old
I never told my parents about my DL side and as far as I know they still don't know, but I doubt I'll ever tell them because one time they did catch me with a pacifier and it led to an extremely tense confrontation after which they demanded to watch me dispose of it (they didn't trust me to get rid of it myself). My brother does know about my DL side after finding out by accident, but he said he wouldn't tell anyone and I'm certain he's kept his word over these many years.
over the years my mother has occasionaly found my stash of padding and other baby stuff (pacifiers, bottles, ect) and the first time she tried to find out why i did it, i was too freaked out and scared so i ran to my room and cried (i was like 11) the a few years later when i was about 15-16 she found my stash in my luggage lining when i came home from boarding school to visit and she told me to never bring that kind of stuff into her house again, i stopped wearing for a few months and then i started to only wear when i was away at boarding school and i told my roommates i was a bedwetter (i was actually an infrequent bed wetter till i was 17, vivid nightmares on top of stress usually caused it) and i continued to wear until i returned home. When i returned home i only wore when everyone was out of the house until i met two of my best friends who are diaperfurs (one is a babyfur) and they introduced me to the furry fandom and now i wear whenever im at their place or when im with my mate ^_^
I wish people would stop treating this like it's a punishment. It's like if you are sneezing and coughing a lot and I said "better hide that, or your parents will send you to a doctor". Therapists aren't boogeymen trying to wreck your day. Their job is to help their clients. In fact, any competent therapist would recognize it as a harmless fetish/pastime and tell your parents to get over it, so long as you're still doing well in school and/or work. Sure, they'll probably want to get to the bottom of it, because it's odd and there might be an underlying issue to deal with, but only a bad therapist would tell you that you absolutely need to stop doing something just because it's out of the norm.
You are totally right. If you have the choice, do not tell your parents about this until you no longer live with them, or at the very least until you're 18. If at all. Unless they really need to know for some reason, what's the benefit of their knowing?
" because real friends are the one that you can physically touch, and all the other ones are only there to make use of you, so they arent real friends"
except that i dont believe in that shit anymore, and i really wish to see those " faux" friends of mine xD
even if it means that i will have to kill a piggybank or 2, to get all the required funds for a trip to them :3
The problem is that "psychotherapy" isn't a regulated term. I could make something up today and sell it as psychotherapy. Could you imagine if anyone could put anything into a pill, call themselves a doctor and distribute it? That's the problem. Anyone can claim to be a counsellor. You need to check that the therapist is a registered psychologist and has actually studied psychology at least enough to have a Master's, otherwise your complaints that the therapist is "bad" hold as much water as complaining your "healer" isn't a very good doctor.
The public needs to be more informed, and frankly the government needs to step in. Some forms of psychotherapy are actually dangerous and have been made illegal (repressed memory, for instance), and lumping registered psychologists in with any wacko that thinks they know what they're doing is unfair.
Usually when I hear of a "therapist" doing something unethical, they're really just some schmuck that started giving people advice in their free time for money. Going to see a proper therapist shouldn't be seen as punitive.
Back when i was 18 and living at my parents place i decided to order some nappies from online, well while i was at work the day the package had arrived my parents had gotten to it before i had ( it was in a plain box) and decided to open it to see what i had ordered ( and lied to me about it arriving at first). when i had gotten home from work they called me into their room, pulled out the box of nappies i ordered and proceeded to ask me so many questions about why i ordered them.
In the end they gave me back my order and said they find it strange, but are ok about it. turns out the only reason why they went though my package was cause they wanted to make sure i wasn't buying anything harmful/hazardous to myself .
Told my two best friends, both of them were cool with it and one of them actually felt more sorry and told me something private that's a bit worse then me.
I haven't told me father because this would make him make fun of me. When he's at party's and drinkin be tends to tell people stuff that he was not suppose to say. I guess I'll never tell him.
I told you, yoo were okay wit it.
Told 2 other people here, both were okay with it and actually shared some expirence.
Yoor very brave star *hugs* : )
My mum found out through that, but she found my diaper stash at the time when she was going through my room to get a suitcase I rarely use for a trip down the southern part of the state I live in, she's the only one in my family who knows of my full AB/DL side. The rest of my family just know about the pacifier.
I've been back and forth on telling the others fully, considering I told a couple e-friends about it and they're fine and dandy about the kink, telling me that even if they don't fully understand it, they respect it anyway and don't mind it at all.
So, yeah, at this point, I would tell them, but I'm going to give myself some more time.
Silliness aside, my story is much more of an "okay, whatever" kind of thing.
When I was 14, my father "lended" me his PSP, which late at night past my bedtime, I would use to get onto the wi-fi at my house and scroll through fa and the likes (I live with my mother. Only met my father when I was 14, and rarely sleep over at his house, which I can now er... blame on my allergies towards cats). As such, if there were any pictures I found cute or such, I'd download them to the memory card, and scroll through them later, or whatnot.
And then a little later that year, I was grounded, per se. My mother asked me for my PSP too, and I tried to take the memory card out. She noticed it, demanded to look through the contents. I didn't really tell her much about it, but told her my involvement within the worlds of furry and AB/DL.
To that day, I had already gone through "purge" cycles, only due to the fact that I had come close to being caught before.
Maybe about a year after, she had calmly randomly asked about it, I told her, and she said "as long as you're not hurting yourself, and it's not illegal, I don't really care."
There have been times where she tried to blame my involvement in this to other things, even stating as such in public (only in a conversation with me, but there were still other people around, and not everybody in Quebec speaks only French...
My father doesn't know, and even though he says he'd accept me for anything, his girlfriend can be very... close minded, and I feel he still hasn't really... earned that degree of trust, unfortunately.
The closest anybody else really knows about me is the furry part, and I've only explicitly told four people, one of which thought that I could actually literally turn into an animal at my desire xD
I have told my parents. Outright told my mom a couple of years ago, and she felt that Rascal is cute. She asked about the whole diaper thing and I explained it to her. My father on the other hand I didnt want to tell, but I accidentally posted a message under rascals name and sent it to him >.< so of course he investigated and found a little diapered wolf.
Believe it or not, the real funny thing was they questioned the couple pics of Rascal in a dress more than they questioned the diapers XD. Shows how oddball and ADD my family is LOL
My family, I know wouldn't be accepting of it. I actually recently tried to tell my mom in the car, but she kind of awkwardly pushed it aside and laughed it off as if she just didn't wanna know anything about that XD; (That conversation started with her wanting to know what I was drawing for people to get money)
but ironically the other day when I was standing with my oldest brother (26 yrs) out of town, and we were about to leave and it went like this:
Brother: You do know that your other brother is going to have to stop every 10 minutes to go pee
Me: He might as well wear a diaper hahaha
Brother: ugh gross, why would anyone do that
Me: haha what do you mean??
Brother: What if he was an adult baby? That's just awkward and weird and is sick *rambles on*
Me: aaahh..yeaahh..*dies on the inside*
ANYWAY sorry for that being random and long, but I just know that if I told my family it wouldn't be pretty, and I would definitely get made fun of by my brothers, and I'm a very sensitive person and I cry at anything so it wouldn't work out well XD;
@//////////@
I think I was about 13-14 when I started the diaper thing, and I kinda had this stupid encounter with the cloth diapering (which I still do, but at a lesser degree), and kinda somehow creeped mom about it... When it came around to the amount of Depends I went through, she was getting so fed up on how babyish I acted, also fed up on how much I stuffed my pants or "wrapped up", per se. She was also fed up if she accidentally saw my old computer screen and saw me working on a diaper thing. That just goes with the territory with the protective parent.
After a long while, even with moving I had made somewhat of a comeback with Attends and Assurance. With and without a locked door, she was getting fed of me doing constantly... That said I was still in the experimental stage of trying to find the right ones for me.
I can vividly recall there'd be only ONCE she threatened me to send me to a therapist, but Mom, like me, was stubborn and put up with it for the LONGEST time. I'm not sure if she's still fine with it still or not, but I still recall mixed feelings.
Now?? Not sure... She hadn't found out I still do it because I've been so secretly about it.
However I keep it silent top the extended family other than that I draw cubs
My twin knows everything and finds it adorable (except they find diapers wierd but I dont wear so they don't care it does help to know though that is clear Liru wouldn't judge me ifi did wear they do tease me for being a babyfur but they tease with love
My mom once argued with me that my plushie angel was too old for her pacifier at four (Ya my mom is just as dolls and plushies can be real daughters asi am...I have a doll little sister according to her) but after that agreement I knew I could never tell her I had my own
Sometimes they seem to treat me little, randomly my mom fed me when my hands were full recently and on that birthday my dad really tried to treat me as five I could tell my mom though just seemed to change the number to five and let me dress that way more then even my normal
Is like to fully come out to them but it's too dangerous plus word spreads in my family fast and I have family wherei volunteer plus I worry if my aunt and uncle found out they would think I'm creepy and not want me around my cousin so I could never risk that
Ice also told people online they found it cute
I'd like to tell my parents, I think they'd be fine with it...it's just getting the courage to say it.
I've told 2 of my close friends, and they haven't said a word to anyone.
I dont think i will ever tell my parents about this stuff, they already are ok with me being a furry let me not screw it up haha!
"when got a strong skeptical personalty you naturally feel people hate you so much that even own parents or mother just feel is your enemy to the point that there is no 'upsetting people' rather you just felt they hated you anyway so bad, as if would matter anyway
i would be upset if my dad found out i wore diapers because i life with him, and fact living with him my make stuff ackward somehow....
yet EVERYBODY knows i am already a gay person, a furry, wore pawstar, some goth night freak.... and 99 other things so not even sure if would even think twice about it perhaps got used to the idea of me doing 'weird stuff' by now
as well despite there fear in it, not sure if most people think that 'wearing diapers' is strange or freaky, they sell diapers at the stores you know..... so despite people may feel cartoons of diaper wearing babyish cartoons maybe vulgar in ways, to be a person who just wears diapers could in ways be closer to the dorm-boy idioticy as if where a comedian like tom-green or jack-ass from MTV or saternight live..... i mean diapers themselves even adult baby.... i mean if it is adult themed... deep truth most likely just think it's sort of humorus, they acutally got costumes like "baby new year" where person wears oversized diaper for halloween costumes and stuff
While I am not really a furry, or even an AB/DL, I like the idea of the fandom, and humans aren't that easy to draw, nor are they as fun to draw as an amazing well thought out character. I've never been "padded up" and I am pretty much babied by everyone around me, not because I "came out" or anything but because that is how everyone naturally treats me, I am the youngest, the smallest and in turn the "cutest".
For my close knit family/friends its natural to see me in shortalls, and skirtalls, or to see me with a toy, and it is perfectly natural for my fiance to start talking in a baby talk voice to me and say stuff "Who's the cutest" and "Oh you're so adorable" while hugging me and cradling me, it is also not looked at weird for him to try and spoon feed me or dress me, or even carry me. And the last thing on here is it is also normal for me at almost 22 y/o to be able to sit in my father's or mother's lap and my snuggled and rocked, because to us that is natural and normal.
I guess you can say I am pretty much thrust into the baby roll by other people, but for the people around me it's not that big a deal, because in fun/good/happy situations I love it when they condescend to me and treat me like a kid, like speaking for me and stuff, but when the situation is bad/angry I absolutely hate being condescended to....
When my family moved to the Gulf Coast, that's when things began getting ugly. I got caught going through baby diapers again at 13 (Mom had a whole mega pack of stretchy Huggies, and I managed to somehow go through 3/4 of that entire pack over the course of half a year). My mom was disgusted, my dad was shouting and calling me a retard, and they threatened to send me for counseling again... still wasn't enough to counteract the desire.
I've been caught nearly a dozen times so far in total, and seen therapists twice. The first time, my lips were sealed entirely, so it didn't really help at all. The therapist did however want to send me to a counseling group of sorts to help deal with the desires; to this day, I swear my mom and the therapist were trying to put me in the loopy bin. The second therapist... well, I don't quite know what he said; only saw him once, and my mom never took me back to him.
My diaper fetishism (alongside my desire to be sissy and my interest in sploshing) has easily driven me away from my family emotionally. My mom still acts cheery and loving around me, but the relationship has been broken for far too long now; I know what they really think of me, and my mom is only this friendly because she thinks I've stopped enjoying diapers. I have crinkly friends here that I'm looking to get a place with, and when I finally move out, I can't say that I'll want to stay in touch with my family or see them ever again; if they can't accept or even acknowledge the real me without looking down on me like I'm some diseased freak, especially when the real me does nothing to hurt anybody else, how could I ever stand to face them again?
what i did was i brought up this http://nishi.deviantart.com/art/Fur.....shes-113008945 and was like "what color is the thing you like in o3o" (so noone has to say anything specific, i said orange, pointed to the tf, and they were like "well what do you like about it" and i was like "imagining the change and the feelings and etc"
with that out of the way we had PLENTY of inside jokes among the four of us, good times :D
...
as for my family, nope, maybe if i get drunk enough on a birthday or something... idunno. it's not that i'm afraid to tell anyone, it's that it'd be completely pointless and they'd be like "cool story bro"
I kind of introduced the idea and my interests in it by "Accidentally" leaving part of a story that I had written in notepad on our shared computer. I was not home when she checked her email. As per plan I was over at my girlfriends place. She didn't call or come get me. She wasn't waiting at the door for me. In fact it wasn't brought up at all when I came home.
It wasn't till I mentioned a book I spotted under her bed stand. If I remember her words right "I read something interesting earlier..." I don't remember all that was said other than two questions of the three questions she asked, "Do you want to wear diapers again?" and "Do you want to be a baby?" I answered both honestly, "No" At the time I had no interests in doing things in real life. The idea creeped me out a little back then. In the end she said I was almost an adult and as long as I am not hurting anyone it doesn't matter.
I did how ever screw myself in a different way and this may have softened my mother's reaction. Going through school it accepted that my english were in need off a bit of support as far as composition, grammar, and spelling. Well apparently my little story was written too well. She was no longer going to give me slack as far as all of that went anymore.
I won't say everything was fine. Over the years she made a few passive remarks suggesting I was a pedophile. I would respond in a way that would tell her I was not like that and make her feel guilty for suggesting it. It took years for her to really understand what being an AB was about for me.
I have a couple of friends that know about my interests as well. Since I don't really bring up things around them everyone's attitude about it, "Meh"
Also, is it bad that at first read, I thought Mike's was jus British slang for miles? xD