...I have not laughed my last laugh. I have not smiled my last smile.

I will recover and I will feel happy again. My friend would want it that way.

For those who may not have heard, FA lost a dear member of the community yesterday.

 aqb52, aka Russell "Rusty" Haller was found dead in his apartment yesterday. He passed away in his sleep, his body having been found by his roommate in Columbus, OH. He was born on August 12, 1964, and only 45 years old. The exact cause of his death is unknown, but it is believed to be related to his diabetes.

When I heard the news, I took it extremely hard. I still am too. I was introduced to him through a mutual friend of ours,  midkantakina, and one of the first things that impressed me was his art. He drew comics, focusing on his creations, Ace & Queenie.

http://aceandqueenie.com/

The two were a romantic spy couple that had daring adventures and were madly in love with one another. It was a webcomic and was published in Furrlough by Radio Comix. I always hoped that one day Rusty would see his creations hit the big time. Now that he's gone, it may never see fruition, and that is what saddens me the most.

Only a few months before his passing, Rusty's mother passed away. He was quite lonely, and fell into a nasty depression. He would often feed his cat before himself. With the economy hitting hard, he was struggling for benefits, and had to leave his hometown of Meriden, CT to move in with a friend in Columbus, OH. He suffered from a condition known as "Dancing Eye" which is a condition that prevents him from having a driving license and performing regular work.

But despite his handicaps, you would never have known he had them by his attitude. He was friendly, jolly, and very warm to people he just met. He would crack jokes, smile, do gift art for friends, and was never aloof from his fans. If you wanted to talk to him on MSN, he's be more than happy to chat. To him, we here at FA were his friends and family.

His passing hurts... a lot... and worst, it makes me feel like I failed somehow as the ADLM founder and leader. I was unable to save him. Despite efforts to help him, he still passed away. It makes me wonder if I did enough with the ADLM to help people. It makes me wonder if there's something I should have done. Something I could have done different which would have ensured that he'd still be alive today.

But...

...despite my feelings of sadness and woe, I have to remember this:

I will laugh again. I will smile again. I will be happy again.

Rusty would not want his death to sour my life forever. The best parting gift I can give to him is to brush myself off, wipe away my tears, and go and be as successful as I can be. To reach my full potential and live life to the best of my ability. Rusty would want to see me, and all of us, succeed and whatever we do in life. So I'm going to redouble my efforts to save the people of FA from the hazards of life! I'm going to continue my path of advancing my career so I can start a family and provide a loving home for me and my wife. I'm going to be happy, and I'm going to share that happiness with everyone around me.

So let us remember Rusty for the smiles, the laughs, and the goodness that he gave us all. It would be a waste not to continue to live and be happy. Even though he is gone, I am sure that he is looking at us all, the entire community, from above, and cheering us on.

So let's go out there and do some good! FOR RUSTY!

~Otaku-Man

P.S. Some cheering up music is in order. How about some Queen, Phoenix Wright, and Elite Beat Agents! Yeah, that'll do it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0LgBUMlvwk